…that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
— Homer Simpson
Truth be told, you could see this one coming. Heilman came out looking frightened, immediately balked, gave up a run-scoring single to Jeter, got a gift when Sheffield was called out (he wasn't), and then gave up a run-scoring single to A-Rod anyway. It's fair to say he sucked. Then Ring did OK, though it took another nice play by Marlon Anderson, whom I was just maligning not so long ago. More or less a welcome respite from suckage. Roberto Hernandez? Well, he was more lucky than good — Floyd was positioned well and made a nice running grab on what looked like a fatal dunker by Bernie, and Sierra scorched one that Beltran caught up with. Basically, Roberto sucked and got away with it. And the whole time I'm writhing around on the couch and looking in the bullpen and thinking, “Jesus, don't bring in Bell, he's got gopheritis recently — get it to Looper.” And then I'm thinking, “Get it to Looper?”
Well, we got it to Looper .
Back under .500. No sweep. Phillies coming in Tuesday. Still some work to be done out in that bullpen.
Dammit, I wanted this one.