As a service to our readers who adhere to more traditional work schedules, this blog provides a series of snappy in-the-know water cooler comebacks to prove that you are fan enough to handle the West Coast start times even if you really aren't.
Faith and Fear in Flushing: We stay up and watch the Mets win so you don't have to.
LAME OUT-OF-IT CO-WORKER: Kaz Matsui sucks.
SMART IN-THE-KNOW YOU: Not when he was hitting that inside-the-park home run in his first at-bat, his third year in a row with a homer in just that situation.
LOOICW: Kaz Matsui can't play second.
SITKY: Kaz hung tough on a great double play after the Padres loaded the bases with nobody out. They didn't score.
LOOICW: Julio Franco hasn't done anything except yell at Carlos Beltran.
SITKY: Julio Franco became the oldest man EVER to hit a home run in a Major League game.
LOOICW: I don't know why they keep Endy Chavez on the club.
SITKY: Endy put down the most beautiful drag bunt to bring home Reyes from third.
LOOICW: Delgado's slumping.
SITKY: Delgado hit a BOMB.
LOOICW: Floyd's in a funk. He'll probably be out indefinitely.
SITKY: Cliff was back in the lineup and drove in the final run.
LOOICW: Jose Valentin will never get a base hit.
SITKY: Jose Valentin got a base hit.
LOOICW: Jorge Julio is worthless.
SITKY: Jorge Julio pitched another 1-2-3 inning. He looked pretty sharp doing it. The whole bullpen came through.
LOOICW: The Mets lost two in a row to the Braves and have to go on a ten-game road trip. They're so screwed.
SITKY: The Mets increased their lead to 3-1/2 over idle Atlanta. Good pitching, timely hitting. They played like the first-place team they are no matter where they are.
LOOICW: Mets suck.
SITKY: Mets rule. You suck.