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Baseball Experts Analyze Mets' Chances
Posted By Greg Prince On September 30, 2006 @ 7:40 pm In Main Page | Comments Disabled
We contacted several Baseball Experts and asked them to explain to us how the Mets might cope with the loss of Pedro Martinez. Like most Mets fans, Jason and I watch the Mets just about every inning, but we're not Baseball Experts and neither are you. Thus, we should rely on Baseball Experts to tell us what might happen with the Mets next even though the Baseball Experts didn't necessarily pay much attention to the Mets all season. They are, after all, Baseball Experts. Here is their report.
LINEUP: Pedro Martinez will not be pitching for the Mets, so no amount of runs generated by the Mets' offense in any of their games will mean anything.
DEFENSE: Without Pedro Martinez striking out every batter the Mets face, Mets' fielders will likely be overworked and overtaxed.
BENCH: Pinch-hitters and late-inning replacements will be too overwhelmed by the absence of Pedro Martinez to perform effectively…as if it matters.
STARTING PITCHING: Pedro Martinez was going to pitch Games 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. The Mets now have five gaping holes in their rotation.
BULLPEN: Counting on being well-rested due to the 11 shutouts Pedro Martinez was sure to throw in the postseason, Met relievers are now far too tired to fire a single strike.
MANAGER: The loss of Pedro Martinez will drive Willie Randolph to distraction. Willie had been counting on his ace pitcher to twirl the first no-hitter in Mets history and hit a couple of grand slams in Game 1 of the NLDS and repeat the feat continually, peppering in perfect games and cycles along the way. Perhaps Joe Girardi could make something of this mess, but Randolph is clearly up against it.
INTANGIBLES: Don't be fooled by the presence of others on the roster. The Mets were a one-man team in 2006. Pedro Martinez electrified their attack by leading off, tripling, stealing bases and scoring at will. Pedro Martinez elicited chants of “MVP!” for his team-record slugging and awesome centerfield play. Pedro Martinez grew into one of the best two-strike hitters in the game. Pedro Martinez was a rock behind the plate and surprisingly solid in the No. 2 hole. Pedro Martinez filled the gap in the cleanup spot beautifully. Pedro Martinez was an ideal fourth outfielder. Pedro Martinez came out of nowhere to take over second base. Pedro Martinez provided wise counsel based on his nearly 30 years in the game. Pedro Martinez led the team in saves. Pedro Martinez set up the closer. Pedro Martinez took the starts of pitchers who couldn't start. Pedro Martinez negotiated one great personnel acquisition after another. Pedro Martinez scouted the opposition and provided foolproof intelligence. Pedro Martinez uncannily waved every runner home safely. Pedro Martinez affixed a gigantic baseball to his head and entertained the fans between innings. Pedro Martinez sold delicious sushi on the field level. Pedro Martinez showed you to your seat. Pedro Martinez sang six different national anthems without missing a note. Pedro Martinez built the new stadium all by himself and provided plenty of parking during construction.
CONCLUSION: No need to provide one. The Mets are already out of it. We know. We're the Baseball Experts.
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