Some of you may remember the mental anguish I and my compatriots in loge experienced at the vocal stylings of the Norris Hopper guy. To refresh your memory, he was…
“…a fellow in a white tank top, the kind of garment unfortunately nicknamed for one who would abuse one's spouse. He has many tattoos. He is very hip-hop in his bearing. He is, as the Offspring so memorably phrased it, pretty fly for white tank top guy. As he and his party take their seats one row behind us, I instantly hear his story in full with 30 seconds of his pulling out his cell:
“'Yo! I'm in Queens! I'm at the Mets game! I'm here for my boy Norris Hopper! I know Norris from the 'hood! Norris was supposed to leave us tickets! I had to buy tickets! I'm sitting in the blue shit! Like 30 rows back! Norris was supposed to leave us tickets! He's supposed to sign a ball for my son! I wanna get a ball! I'm not even a Mets fan! I'm a Yankees fan! I don't even care though! I'm here for Norris Hopper! That's the only reason I'm here! Norris is my boy! I know him from the hood! He was supposed to leave us tickets! He's gonna leave us tickets tomorrow! He's gonna sign a ball for my son!'”
The fellow repeated that tale countless times and made an ass of himself in countless other ways until security evicted him from the building. I came to the reasonable conclusion after that unwelcome Ralph Kiner Night intrusion that the Norris Hopper guy didn't know Norris Hopper at all. I could find no record of Hopper ever living in the New York area nor did I get any sense that the Norris Hopper guy spent any time in Hopper's documented home state of North Carolina.
It is only fair to note that I got an e-mail a few weeks later from someone I trust who knows how to get in touch with baseball players. He told me that someone he knows asked for his help in locating a friend of his:
He wants to get in touch with a guy on the Reds that he knew from a LONG time ago…Norris Hopper! Turns out that Norris did grow up in the 'hood…North Jersey…moved [back] to North Carolina in middle school. He was getting into a lot of trouble…that's why he moved. No joke!
Since we are playing the Reds again, I felt I should publicly point out:
1) So maybe the Norris Hopper guy in loge wasn't making up his association with the actual Norris Hopper.
2) That didn't make the Norris Hopper guy in loge any less of a jerk on July 14.