“Well, fuck, we have to do this again.”

“Again? Really? Can't we just reflexively rule against the Mets like we used to? It was a lot easier then.”

“I know. It was a great umpiring tradition, one we were proud to uphold. Like wearing a chest protector.”

“Remember when Chris Woodward had a home run called a triple [...]

It was one of my wife's more modest goals, but also apparently one of the harder-to-reach ones: See Johan Santana pitch.

Emily and her dad have had a seven- or 15-game plan for a couple of years, and their run of starting-pitcher luck has been spotty to say the least: Last year they got a surfeit [...]