And you may find yourself without your star players.
And you may find yourself barely over .500.
And you may find yourself losing far more often than you win this month.
And you may find yourself on the upside of an 11-0 romp that you view from Excelsior level infield seats that you didn't pay for.
And you may ask yourself, well…how did I get here?
Sometimes it's better not to ask yourself too many questions and simply sink into luxury's lap as those obnoxious Caesars Atlantic City ads that air between innings put it. Nothing could be more luxurious than a massive, fun-filled romp over Tony La Russa's Cardinals taken in from a slice of Citi Field that is generally off limits and out of price range.
How did Jason and I get there Wednesday night? Let's just say the Las Entradas Angels of Flushing took care of our accommodations while Jerry Manuel's hellions saw to everything else we could have possibly desired. Never having sat in what is designated Caesars Club Gold (differentiating us from the riffraff in Caesars Club Silver), I had no idea they were so attentive to detail there or how persistent they would be in checking on you to make sure everything's all right.
I thought it only fair to indulge their inquiries.
Was this victory to your satisfaction?
Why, yes, yes it was. All victories are satisfying, but this one was, shall we say, quite fulfilling. Well done!
Were the amenities pleasing?
If by amenities you mean almost every conceivable Citi Field offensive record being set while we sat between home and third, yes, huzzah. We particularly liked the 4-for-4 recorded by Mr. Wright, the three RBI delivered by Mr. Tatis, the three positions manned by Mr. Tatis as well…oh, did I mention the two-run home run by Mr. Evans? That was a lovely surprise! As was Mr. Misch's Met debut. We enjoy those sorts of things no end.
The starting pitching…was there a problem?
Oh dear no! Forgive my rudeness, but in the onslaught of offense and minutiae, I very nearly forgot about Mr. Nieve's six shutout innings. Please give him our regards.
Was the opposition humiliated sufficiently?
That was an exquisite touch. We would have been happy with a five- or six-run margin, but Tony La Russa losing by eleven and presumably choking on it in the visiting manager's office is what makes luxury so luxurious. My compliments to the Mets.
Is there anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant in the future?
I don't wish to be difficult, but there were Cardinals fans seated directly in front of us. Please remove them from the premises in the future. Also, finding our way to our restricted access section was something of a chore, with one escalator leading us to a dead end and another completely shut off. The least you could have waiting for us at the end of several flights of stairs is a hot towel. Actually, a hot towel would be suitable under any circumstance. What is this: Caesars Club Gold or some ballpark? Oh, and my friend nearly came up with a foul ball. Nearly. Ideally we would each catch several. Talk to the batters on both teams about that. Otherwise, I'll need another decisive victory Thursday afternoon. You will replenish your run supply overnight for Mr. Santana?
I will express your concerns to management.
See that you do.
Luxuriate in Faith and Fear in Flushing: An Intense Personal History of the New York Mets, available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or a bookstore near you. Keep in touch and join the discussion on Facebook.
Lose: 3-0
Win: 11-0
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was ….
This is not my beautiful park, this is not my beautiful line-up!
Looks like I picked the wrong weeknight to go to CitiField …
(To paraphrase Lloyd Bridges)
I don't know why I love ‘em like I do
All the changes they put me through
Take my money, drop 3 game set
I haven't seen the worst of it yet
I wanna know that they’ll tell me
I’ll love their play
Take me to the Citi, sit me in the good seats
Take me to the Citi, tempt me with the good eats
Shaking me down, shaking me down
I don't know why they treat me so bad
Think of all the wins we could have had
Collapses and heartbreak that I can't forget
My Saturday plan I still can’t regret
I wanna know that they’ll sell me
A Series winner someday
Take me to the Citi, sit me in the good seats
Take me to the Citi, tempt me with the good eats
Shaking me down, shaking me down
Fool me, bore me, irk me, tease me
‘Til I can't, ‘til I can't, ‘till I can't take no more
Take me to the Citi, sit me in the good seats
Take me to the Citi, tempt me with the good eats
Shaking me down, shaking me down
I don't know why I love ‘em like I do
All the ways up that they screw
48 seasons there on my wall
And here am I the biggest fan of them all
I wanna know that they’ll tell me
Be worth it some day
Take me to the Citi, sit me in the good seats
Take me to the Citi, tempt me with the good eats
Shaking me down, shaking me down
BOOKS!
With Yadier F. Molina making the final out!
Might the sands be shifting, at long last?
By & by, oh, Lord…By & by…
Yes, Charlie, you are correct. This is the turning point, the fulcrum upon which the entire season turns.
Unless they lose two of three this weekend, in which case this was just a pleasant mirage.
Brilliant! As long as Frankie isn't burning down the house, maybe we'll be all right.
those obnoxious Caesars Atlantic City ads
I will take those ads 6,000 times over if it means we never ever ever ever ever ever again have to hear about “the wonder of it all”.
And if they keep Cancer Kazoo Man out of the ads it'd be nice.
“I used to love the grotto.”
What about those strange fake movie trailers in which the father of the bride smoked and therefore will miss his daughter's wedding?
And to think, I was thisclose to taking up cigarettes.
I love how the daughter looks like she has cancer in those ads as well. Hey, to play devil's advocate here: maybe he's not missing the wedding because cancer will kill him before it's a possibility, maybe it's because his daughter is a rotten human being that no man would marry. If she were so great, she'd have been married by now while the father was living, no?
BTW, I can now happy say I've been smoke-free for one month. Keith would be proud (and to you non-smokers, we really appreciate how Keith said in the ad “quit as soon as you can,” as opposed to “quit smoking today.” There's a huge difference in those statements).
Congratulations on your first month. Keith Hernandez: Is there anything he can't do?