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The Life You Were Meant to Live
Posted By Greg Prince On June 25, 2009 @ 5:38 am In Main Page | Comments Disabled
And you may find yourself without your star players.
And you may find yourself barely over .500.
And you may find yourself losing far more often than you win this month.
And you may find yourself on the upside of an 11-0 romp that you view from Excelsior level infield seats that you didn't pay for.
And you may ask yourself, well…how did I get here?
Sometimes it's better not to ask yourself too many questions and simply sink into luxury's lap as those obnoxious Caesars Atlantic City ads that air between innings put it. Nothing could be more luxurious than a massive, fun-filled romp over Tony La Russa's Cardinals taken in from a slice of Citi Field that is generally off limits and out of price range.
How did Jason and I get there Wednesday night? Let's just say the Las Entradas  Angels of Flushing took care of our accommodations while Jerry Manuel's hellions saw to everything else  we could have possibly desired. Never having sat in what is designated Caesars Club Gold (differentiating us from the riffraff in Caesars Club Silver), I had no idea they were so attentive to detail there or how persistent they would be in checking on you to make sure everything's all right.
I thought it only fair to indulge their inquiries.
Was this victory to your satisfaction?
Why, yes, yes it was. All victories are satisfying, but this one was, shall we say, quite fulfilling. Well done!
Were the amenities pleasing?
If by amenities you mean almost every conceivable Citi Field offensive record being set while we sat between home and third, yes, huzzah. We particularly liked the 4-for-4 recorded by Mr. Wright, the three RBI delivered by Mr. Tatis, the three positions manned by Mr. Tatis as well…oh, did I mention the two-run home run by Mr. Evans? That was a lovely surprise! As was Mr. Misch's Met debut. We enjoy those sorts of things no end.
The starting pitching…was there a problem?
Oh dear no! Forgive my rudeness, but in the onslaught of offense and minutiae, I very nearly forgot about Mr. Nieve's six shutout innings. Please give him our regards.
Was the opposition humiliated sufficiently?
That was an exquisite touch. We would have been happy with a five- or six-run margin, but Tony La Russa losing by eleven and presumably choking on it in the visiting manager's office is what makes luxury so luxurious. My compliments to the Mets.
Is there anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant in the future?
I don't wish to be difficult, but there were Cardinals fans seated directly in front of us. Please remove them from the premises in the future. Also, finding our way to our restricted access section was something of a chore, with one escalator leading us to a dead end and another completely shut off. The least you could have waiting for us at the end of several flights of stairs is a hot towel. Actually, a hot towel would be suitable under any circumstance. What is this: Caesars Club Gold or some ballpark? Oh, and my friend nearly came up with a foul ball. Nearly. Ideally we would each catch several. Talk to the batters on both teams about that. Otherwise, I'll need another decisive victory Thursday afternoon. You will replenish your run supply overnight for Mr. Santana?
I will express your concerns to management.
See that you do.
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