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It’s Official…

Posted By Jason Fry On May 11, 2010 @ 12:18 am In 1 | Comments Disabled

…Dave Howard can spin anything.

Here’s the master [1], talking about the trash seen piling up on the field at various points in recent days: “It’s sort of good now that there is debris to be blown out there. It shows people are spending some money and buying food and drink and enjoying themselves.”

Truly, Dave Howard’s talents are wasted on the Mets [2]. He ought to be tackling larger issues in need of a honey-tongued makeover. Like global warming (“the majesty of hurricanes is sort of good to witness, particularly for people who don’t normally get to see them thanks to old-fashioned weather patterns”), AIDS (“anything that allows us to display our compassion for others is sort of good, even if it involves dying”) or civil wars in Africa (“it’s sort of good those kids are learning to shoot straight and develop bonds outside the family, now that their family members have been executed by drug-crazed rebels”).

Happily, Dave continues to employ his talents closer to home, where we can enjoy them and have our lives be bettered by them. We are truly blessed.

Seriously — Dave, I’m sure you love the Mets. I’ll assume you’re good at your job. But every time you talk to a member of the media, you make the Mets look smarmy and pathetic.

Please stop doing that.


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URL to article: http://www.faithandfearinflushing.com/2010/05/11/its-official/

URLs in this post:

[1] Here’s the master: http://bats.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/10/citi-fields-garbage-problem/

[2] wasted on the Mets: http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=300510121

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