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Alderson Apparently Adores Alliteration

The Mets have signed two low-risk, low-budget, low-profile pitchers on whom only the truly prescient were concentrating highly prior to the announcement [1] of their unforeseen acquisitions. One is former Rockie Taylor Buchholz, who not long ago underwent Tommy John surgery. The other is former Brewer Chris Capuano, who also not long ago underwent Tommy John surgery.

If either of them pitches like Tommy John, that would be great.

At the moment, I’m most interested in Chris Capuano, not because he was an All-Star in 2006 and hasn’t done a ton since (ahem), but┬ábecause he comes to us in the same offseason as Boof Bonser. When the Mets picked up Boof Bonser, Stephanie asked me if the Mets were now placing an extraordinary emphasis on alliteration.

I suspect they are. Boof Bonser…Chris Capuano…can Bill Bonham be far behind?

Let us zealously zip to UMDB [2] and quickly compose the All-Alliteration Amazins:

C – Chris Cannizzaro
1B – Tony Tarasco
2B – Tim Teufel
SS – Luis Lopez
3B – Bob Bailor
LF – Melvin Mora
CF – Bruce Boisclair
RF – Shane Spencer
P – Rick Reed

Billy Baldwin is primed to pinch-hit, though Chris Carter is more likely to get the call. Wally Whitehurst warms up alongside Brian Bohanon. One is throwing to Duffy Dyer, the other to Greg Goossen. Scott Strickland stands ready to get the save, but pitching coach Red Ruffing is telling him to hold his horses. There are a couple of Mike Marshalls rarin’ to go as well. (Blaine Beatty’s buried in AAA ball; Bobby Bonilla, benched, sits, stews and seethes.)

Amid all this avid activity, Ryota Igarashi was designated for assignment. Igarashi was non-alliterative, but mostly he was non-effective.

Cap tip to Fred Solomon, Ed Leyro and John Sharples for helping to expand the roster.