“But I don’t believe it, because come this Sunday you’re going to be doing what you always do. You’re going to be sitting right in this chair drinking beer, watching TV and swearing at Joe Namath.”
—Mike Stivic, to Archie Bunker, after Archie suddenly gets religion
FACT: Mike Pelfrey sucks, especially on the road.
UPDATED FACT: Mike Pelfrey managed to not suck to any deleterious effect Tuesday night. He shut out the Dodgers — at Dodger Stadium — for six innings. He teetered a bit here and there but left very much in command.
FACT: Jason Bay sucks.
UPDATED FACT: Jason Bay has just about stopped sucking at all facets of his game. Jason Bay might finally be getting good.
FACT: The Mets suck at hitting home runs.
UPDATED FACT: Perhaps as a long-term trend this remains true, but Tuesday night the Mets scored six runs and all of them were on home runs —two by Bay and one by National League All-Star Carlos Beltran.
FACT: The Mets will suck if Jose Reyes misses any substantial amount of time.
UPDATED FACT: This is not a theory anybody wishes to test, but the Mets are 3-0 without the National League’s starting All-Star shortstop. And based on his presence on this trip, one continues to hope he’s back in the Met lineup soon and that we get to applaud him through the television screen as he trots out to take his position in Phoenix next week.
FACT: The Mets bullpen sucks.
UPDATED FACT: The Mets bullpen will always suck in spirit, but in actuality, they’ve been pretty splendid these past three games. Call it a small sample size if you like, but in relief pitching all it takes is one calamitous pitch, and the Mets ’pen has avoided throwing it lately.
FACT: The Mets suck.
UPDATED FACT: The Mets are two games above .500, which in and of itself isn’t rock-solid evidence they don’t suck or they won’t suck or they won’t morph into frustrating, injury-riddled ineptitude at any given moment…but no, the Mets don’t suck. It’s kind of fun that they don’t.
FACT: Late-night West Coast games suck.
UPDATED FACT: On principle, absolutely. In terms of results, they’re proving to be quite lovely thus far.
FACT: Mets fans need something or someone to tangibly suck lest they have nothing about which to complain.
UPDATED FACT: Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll find something.