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TWO Closers? How Would THAT Work?

Posted By Greg Prince On July 14, 2011 @ 2:59 pm In 1 | Comments Disabled

In a telephone conversation Wednesday afternoon, Roenicke said he intends to use both Axford and Rodriguez in save situations and both in setup situations.
–Adam McCalvy, mlb.com


John Axford was the closer for the Milwaukee Brewers. When the phone rang, he knew it was for him.

AXFORD: Hey, I got this.

But Francisco Rodriguez was one of the game’s most celebrated closers. When the phone rang…

RODRIGUEZ: Hey, I got this.

Then one day, Francisco Rodriguez was traded to Milwaukee.

AXFORD & RODRIGUEZ TOGETHER: Hey, I got this.

AXFORD & RODRIGUEZ TOGETHER: I said I got this!

MILLER PARK PA ANNOUNCER: Now pitching for the Milwaukee Brewers…uh…

PRINCE FIELDER: What the…?

BOB UECKER: Say, there’s something you don’t see every day — two closers on one mound! Looks like the Brew Crew is gonna hafta get six outs here in the ninth. Ax and K-Rod go into their windups…

ANGEL HERNANDEZ: Strike! Ball!

MATT HOLLIDAY: Man, you really are a bad umpire.

RYAN BRAUN: This counts as only half an appearance for Rodriguez, right?

UECKER: Ju-u-ust a bit unorthodox.

Learn what happens when two closers from different worlds try to share one job…and end up sharing each other’s hearts.

That is if they don’t beat each other to a bloody pulp first.

They’re the pair of TOOLS every baseball fan needs to win this summer!

Will Ferrell is John “Ax” Axford.

“I’m the closer around here. Why don’t you set me up with a beer?”

John Leguizamo is Francisco “K-Rod” Rodriguez.

“You’re lucky I underwent court-mandated anger management or I’d treat you like a member of my family!”

Ray Romano is beleaguered Brewers manager Ron Roenicke.

“Fellas, c’mon. You can’t both have balls. Wait, that’s not what I meant.”

With Bob Uecker as himself.

“Ax strikes ‘em out! But K-Rod gives up the grand slam. It’s a single-game split for the Brewers here at Miller Park.”

Ax & Rod…the baseball comedy with TWO endings — maybe even one of them happy.

AXFORD: Save isn’t the only thing you’re blowing, buddy.

RODRIGUEZ: You wish.

ROENICKE: Fellas…

AXFORD & RODRIGUEZ TOGETHER: WHAT?

ROENICKE: Forget it.

Ax & Rod…you’ll be CLOSER to the edge of your seat than ever before.

This tandem is not yet rated. May not be suitable for winning divisions.


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