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Jason Fry and Greg Prince
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

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Mike Pelfrey's Going Away Party

“Hey, this is really nice.”
“Well, we decided it was a special occasion, so we should rent out one of the suites.”
“I’ve never been to one of these before.”
“We throw one every five days — just in case.”
“So this isn’t just an end of season thing?”
“Usually we just do it in Promenade and keep it simple, but since this is the last one of the year, we figured why not go all out?”

“I’m glad you did. Now how does this work?”
“You can order anything you like, and they’ll bring it you.”
“Anything?”
“Anything you’d normally have to wait in line for. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Wow. What a shame I’m really not that hungry.”
“Oh, come on, you have to try to the Failure to Take a Step Forward.”
“They’ll bring me the Failure to Take a Step Forward? I mean right here, to the suite?”
“That’s part of the package.”
“Package?”
“Oh yeah, it’s a whole production. They start you with a Deep Hole, just to set the tone — and from there you can order anything.”

“Anything? What about the Lack of Confidence?”
“You can get the Lack of Confidence AND the Lack of Command.”
“Geez, it is tempting.”
“I already ordered the Mountain of Earned Runs. It’ll be here in a minute.”
“The Mountain of Earned Runs? Geez, don’t you usually have to wait like three innings for that?”
“Not today. All the Earned Runs you could possibly imagine will show up instantly.”
“I don’t know. I don’t wanna overdo it.”
“Listen, you have to at least help me finish the Endless Frustration.”
“My god, how vast is that thing?”
“It’s Endless. And it comes with a Look of Bafflement.”

“Well, I’ll have a taste…mmmm…that really is Endless!”
“Try it with a few of the Earned Runs from the Mountain of them.”
“Just a few…”
“‘Just a few.’ You know you can’t have ‘just a few’ Earned Runs at one of these things.”
“No, you really can’t. What’s that they have at the other table?”
“That’s Patience. They said they were running out of it, though.”
“Say, didn’t one of the concessions used to sell a Real Sign of Progress?”
“We asked about that. They said it’s no longer available. They replaced it with the Pile of Base Hits.”
“I could use a drink. Any hard stuff here?”
“No hard stuff, at least nothing that’s effective. I tried it with a Carrasco chaser, but that only made it worse.”
“Any Kool-Aid?”
“Plenty, but nobody wants to drink it anymore.”

“This has been fun, but I’m really full.”
“You can’t go before they bring out the dessert.”
“Dessert?”
“What’s a party without dessert?”
“What do they have?”
“It’s like a very well-done dish, something left in the oven too long, probably. And it’s kind of chewy. Tough, almost.”
“That doesn’t sound very appetizing.”
“Well, it’s gotta be tough. It’s the Non-Tender.”
Ooh, THAT I gotta try!”

A little afterparty chat with The Happy Recap Radio Show fellas, here.

10 comments to Mike Pelfrey’s Going Away Party

  • srt

    I was always more or less a Pelfrey supporter but even I’m ready to wave the white flag. Pretty sure though given the FA market, the arms we hopefully have ready in a year, and the unwillingness of this current regime to throw good money after bad – that Pelfrey will be back for opening day and will go to arbitration.

    If we only have to offer him 80% of his current salary why in baseball’s name should he get a raise at all? Offer him the 80%, let his agent throw out whatever number and take it to arbitration. Maybe we’ll get lucky and the arbitrator will set the salary at $1 dollar over 2011’s. There….that’s your raise, Mike. Now go out there in 2012 and prove you’re worth more.

    And if we get lucky, maybe he’ll have a good first half and we can trade him mid season.

    • Dak442

      If we get greedy and offer him a reduction (which IS what Pelf actually deserves) we’ll probably lose in arbitration. Offer him the same salary, and dare his agent to look for a raise.

  • I’m not ready to give up on Pelf too much physical talent there to pass up. Mets fans don’t know how much the death of Harvey Dorfman has affected Pelfrey as he misses Dr. Dorfman’s psychological guidance. I’d love to get Rick Peterson back in the fold as pitching coach. It’s easy to give up on Big Pelf but I still think there is a pitcher worth saving

    • Guy Kipp

      I might not be ready to embrace the return of Rick Peterson, but remind me again why Dan Warthen managed to survive the dugout purge last October? This pitching staff has accomplished …what? …that would suggest Warthen be given a pass?

  • eric b

    I think the Mets don’t have much choice but to hang onto him and hope for the best. They’re in no position to trade pitching away, esp. if someone gives them 200+ innings. Maybe they can make one of those “change of scenery” swaps with someone similar…but they’re obviously not going to get a whole lot for Pelfrey. The only thing worse would be to let him go for nothing.

  • Joe D.

    Would Mike’s performance be acceptable as a fifth starter? That spot in the rotation might be a battle between him and Chris Capuano. Chris is six years older than Pelfrey though Mike’s ERA has skyrocked to 4.75 opposed to Capuano’s 4.55.

  • I actually could deal with Pelf as a number 5, and if that doesn’t work, move him to the bullpen as a 7th inning guy. If your rotation is Santana, Niese, Dickey and Gee, I don’t think Pelf hurts you much, and might actually revert to earlier form. If Santana doesn’t come back, or is no longer effective, you might need to do something else.

  • Daviault

    Pelf’s biggest failing is his abysmal lifetime record against the four division rivals.

  • Andee

    If the contract terms were identical, I’d prefer Cap to Pelf. Or any number of others, really. But I wouldn’t favor taking on a multi-year deal to replace Pelf, unless it’s someone much better than he is. Pelf at least is durable, and that’s something that can’t be said of any other starter besides Dickey. The one real downside to keeping him one more year is that the Eebil One is his agent, so they could get creamed in arbitration. But certainly we don’t want Harvey or Familia to be rushed (and I would be surprised if Mejia and Wheeler are ready before ’13), and if they do blow away the IL you wouldn’t want them blocked by someone else’s muti-year pact.

  • Linda

    Greg, you forgot the lick-em-ade treats.
    I am plain tired of Pelfrey.I sympathize with the mental health issues but just like physical ailments, you get paid the big bucks to play and deliver. Maybe NY is too much for his psyche, he has had lots of chances to work it out. I don’t even want to watch when he pitches.