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Mets Brain Trust Figures It Out

Posted By Greg Prince On February 7, 2012 @ 8:15 am In 1 | Comments Disabled

“OK, settle down everybody. We’ve got Spring Training coming up in a couple of weeks, so this meeting is important as it allows us as an organization to address the issues that might be holding us back from succeeding in 2012. First on the agenda is deciding how to replace Jose Reyes’s output at the top of the order. Any suggestions?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“Good idea. Now what about helping Ruben Tejada break in as the starting shortstop. That’s a big job.”

“Deny Howard Megadal’s press credentials.”

“All right. Ike Davis and Johan Santana are each coming back from injuries and we’re going to need them to return to form. How do we do that?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“This is going better than planned. We have high hopes for Lucas Duda’s bat, but his glove might be a project. What’s the best way to bring him along in right?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“We are really rolling. Listen, we all love Murph, but his defense is going to be a tough fit at any position. Can we improve his pivot on the double play so he can be at second every day — anybody?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“Beautiful! We have a whole new bullpen this year, with everybody moving into new roles. Any suggestions so the late innings aren’t a nightmare?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“Nice going. Catching’s a little thin. Is there a way to enhance what we have between Thole and Nickeas?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“That’s some real forward thinking there. The walls are coming in, but Jason Bay may need more than that. Do we tinker with his stance, get him counseling or what?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“I’m writing that one down. Next on the agenda is Pelfrey…need I say more?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“Nail on the head! On the off-field issues, what about attendance? It’s been down the last couple of years and the lack of any big acquisitions isn’t necessarily going to fire anybody up. What to do?”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“Taken care of. Finally, the ownership thing…that’s a mess you’d need a whole book to explain fairly and clearly [1]. We need an out-of-the-box solution. The floor is open…”

“Deny Howard Megdal’s press credentials.”

“Splendid! Apparently we’ve solved all our problems. Somehow we just knew it was all Howard Megdal’s fault [2].”


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URL to article: http://www.faithandfearinflushing.com/2012/02/07/mets-brain-trust-figures-it-out/

URLs in this post:

[1] a whole book to explain fairly and clearly: http://www.amazon.com/Wilpons-Folly-Story-Fortune-ebook/dp/B006MCS1ZQ

[2] it was all Howard Megdal’s fault: http://mets.lohudblogs.com/2012/02/06/a-note-on-access-and-the-mets/

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