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Jason Fry and Greg Prince
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

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The Mulligan

Sigh.

Let’s be honest with each other.

I don’t particularly want to write about today’s deplorable suckfest against the Braves, and you don’t particularly want to read about it. Because if you saw it, the afterimage of lousy pitching, vandalism afield and crummy hitting is probably still burned onto your retinas, and why on earth would you want to relive such a hideous way to spend a beautiful Sunday afternoon in New York? And if you didn’t see it, the score tells you that you were lucky, and a glance at any recap or quick word with a Mets fan in the know tells you the same thing.

Those of you who were mercifully absent, we’re not going to delve into the fact that the Mets — HAHAHAHAHA — committed no — HOHOHOHO — I repeat not a single error — HEEHEEHEEHEE — in playing the Braves today.

Wow. Excuse me.

No, it’s true. We don’t have a single error to discuss. There was no error when Marlon Byrd and Jordany Valdespin let a Dan Uggla drive go up the seam between them. Nor was there a big E after Lucas Duda broke in on a ball zooming over his head. No run went from earned to unearned when David Wright boxed one around FIVE FREAKING SECONDS after Terry Collins came to the mound and yelled at Jon Niese and everyone else in range of his voice that they could forget about the postgame trip to the Tastee-Freez. No defensive lapse was observed when John Buck let balls go through his legs. Every Brave hit was sparkling clean, the product of pluck and resilience, and there is no truth whatsoever to the base and vile rumor that the Mets have been asked to cover the logos of glove manufacturers for fear of damaging those companies’ public image.

As for all those walks attached to Niese’s line, yeah, they were what you think, and it was freaking horrible to witness.

Whoa, sorry about that! Like I said, we’re not going to talk about today’s game, because it was awful. It was awful, and it was pathetic, and it made you angry, and it left you feeling sorry for all involved, and it left you cackling at the sheer pitiable horror of the baseball being played, and it took forever, and by the time it was over you were just sad.

So we’re taking a mulligan.

But only this time.

Next time the Mets walk the ballpark and swing at sinkers heading to China on full counts and play the field like they’ve been encased in cement, you’re going to have to relive each and every horrible miscue and dunderheaded mistake and moment of bad luck. Fortunately, that will never happen again — not with so sound a defensive team and such a deep rotation and such a talented lineup.

Right?

8 comments to The Mulligan

  • Why can’t most games be like Friday’s instead of Sunday’s?

  • FL Met Fan Rich

    How do I apply for the Official Scorer’s position which I can assume is now available at Turner Field!

  • open the gates

    Wonder how many fans are taking a mulligan on the season?

    I know – it’s early. But who sees this getting better any time soon?

  • Erik

    That debacle was the first baseball game for my two daughters… I’m beginning to question whether it’s morally defensible to raise them as Met fans in Atlanta.

  • Maggie

    As both a baseball fan and a Jonathon Niese fantasy owner, I am outraged at this so-called scoring.

  • Joe D.

    Hi Jason,

    The team looks as if the players just cannot get motivated and are just clocking it in and focused more upon themselves. The reason I suugest this is due to how Hefner reacted last week in his loss to Miami.

    Hefner pitched great but I noticed he wasn’t taking the loss so badly. When asked how he felt about losing the game, his first comment was that it’s the role of the starter to go nine innings and keep his team in the game and that he thinks he did his job. Might seem unimportant but I took it as another indication of this being more a group of 25 individuals concerned with their own individual performances than a team of 25 players like it was the last two months of last season.

    I mean,Jeremy Hefner, a kid who is only in his second season of major league ball and has only compiled a 4-10 record with a 4.92 and already talking in terms of being satisfied with his own performance and being matter of factly about a game in which he suffered a heart-breaking loss?

    How much can this indifference be attributed to the example trickling down from front office – that business takes priority over competitive integrity and thus the concern of the individual with his own self takes priority over anything else as well?

    This might not be a true reflection of an organizational attitude but everyone from the top down is making it hard for at least myself to see it in any other manner.