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Jason Fry and Greg Prince
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

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Insert Sigh Here

Well, for 10 minutes or so that looked like a nice ballgame.

The Mets looked like they might get no-hit by Matt Cain, but escaped that indignity when Ruben Tejada slapped a single beyond the extremity of where a shortstop can field it. Hooray for a hit, but could they score a run? They’d need to, because Jonathon Niese had been scratched for one when Brandon Hicks — whom you may recall as having done absolutely nothing with a glove or a bat for the Mets in spring training this year — tripled and Brandon Crawford drove him in with a sac fly.

But wait! In the top of the seventh Matt den Dekker doubled and for once I was actually OK with the inevitable Terry Collins bunt. But nope, Daniel Murphy drove a home run off the top of the right-field wall, and just like that the Giants were the ones who were behind, victimized by the kind of thing that we think only happens to us.

Unfortunately, there were still pitches for the Mets to make. Or not make. With two outs in the bottom of the seventh Niese walked the irritatingly no-longer-terrible Hicks, then threw (in rapid succession) a wild pitch and a poorly located pitch. Crawford lashed the latter into center, we were tied, Carlos Torres took over and hung a slider to Buster Posey, we were no longer tied, and you knew the Met bats weren’t going to do anything else. At least it only took 137 minutes for the loss to be recorded, instead of the usual twice that.

Whatcha gonna do? The Giants are good; the Mets aren’t good. The Giants had two productive Brandons; the Mets only have Brandon of Brandon & Alexa fame, though honestly he couldn’t be worse than Chris Young. It was fun walloping the Phillies a long time ago on the other side of the continent, but nothing has been fun since. The Mets will probably win another game, though I wouldn’t be shocked if they didn’t.

Since there’s more season to play, some options:

1) The Mets quietly disband after losing the last two games of this series. Would anybody notice? SNY could run ads for 50 Cent’s concert, Brandon and Alexa could continue acting excited about unexciting merchandise, and Mr. Met could become a goodwill ambassador for the city as a whole. We could spend the rest of our lives in an ahistorical void watching endless Mets Yearbooks, tweeting at each other that Dave Kingman seems nice when he’s been given a shitload of Thorazine and that everything will be better now that Tim Foli has arrived. Or was that Mike Vail?

2) Go horseback riding with Ticket Oak. Screw it, it’ll probably go better than staking one’s happiness on this misfit band.

3) Keep watching this increasingly boring, slow-motion train wreck.

I guess we’re stuck with No. 3, but right now I’d sign on for Nos. 1 or 2.

14 comments to Insert Sigh Here

  • Christian Adams

    This site is great. Thanks for the post Jason. These rants makes following this team easier. I think it’s time we start a grassroots movement to oust the root of the problem. The Wilpons.

  • metsfaninparadise

    As far as I’m concerned, Collins was HISTORICALLY stupid tonight. Not only did he pull Niese after 94 pitches in favor of an overtaxed bullpen, but–and let me make this perfectly clear–HE REARRANGED THE LINEUP IN ORDER TO HAVE A SUB-.200 HITTER LEAD OFF THE 9TH IN A TIE (AT BEST) GAME ON THE ROAD. If that’s not idiotic enough to cost the man his job then nothing is.

  • Lenny65

    According to some advanced statistical models I’ve been toying with, the Mets regular lineup is playing at CCL, or “cardboard cut-out level” which, simply put, means that a cardboard cut-out of those players holding a bat would achieve roughly the same results at the plate. Cut-outs might help generate more offense as well, because the wind blowing them over could result in an uptick of HBPs. Plus when the cut-outs were on base they wouldn’t have to be moved, just like how they do it now. Whatever you do, though, DO NOT TELL THE WILPONS about this! You know what I mean.

    Speaking of ways to cut corners, the Mets should look into taking Kirk denDerBrown and this Granderyoungs guy and somehow use science to mash them all together into one slightly better ballplayer, like a Roger Cedeno-level guy or maybe Butch Huskey. Same with the catchers, in goes TDA/Recker/that other one and out comes Kelly Stinnett or Charlie O’Brien or maybe even an Omir Santos! A precedent has already been set in this regard with the bizarre Wilben Flojada experiment and look how well that’s gone for everyone involved.

    • SL

      I’d say what a timeless and unique piece of humour, but sadly, you could have written it for about 40 of this teams 50 years!
      Of course, the other advantage of the cut outs would be them making major league minimum, which would probably allow Shake Shack to be able to afford to fully cook the burgers, and maybe even the Wilpons to give out actual t shirts.

  • K. Lastima

    That’s some comedy gold there, Lenny65. Give the mashups and the CCL’s some Ovaltine in the clubhouse and send them out there to represent the NY Metropolitan Baseball Club. Let’s Go Mets!

  • 9th Strimg

    Lenny – brilliant! I guess it would be too much to ask for a mookstra or a Tufmann, eh?

  • JerseyJack

    All of a sudden the Mets are hitting like they are home , but on the road !! (or should I say not hitting?) YIKES!

  • Lou from Georgia

    I’d just like to see some sense of urgency on the part of the front office to do something via trade. Obviously this team as constructed is not working toward .500 anymore. Blame travel schedules and tired bodies all they want, but there simply isn’t enough talent to overcome no offense. Even if these bats were all on a hot streak, how many runs per game can they generate? 5 on a good night? The only guys with real power are Duda and Granderson. Look at the other dugout, the Giants have power and average and their 7 and 8 hitters blow our 3, 4 and 5 hitters away. They play in a pitcher’s park and they are practically an offensive juggernaut in spite of it. Package Murphy and a couple arms for a bat and play the kids. If we’re going to tank at least tank with a purpose. Mediocrity sucks. Should change it Metiocrity.

  • Penacious H

    Fair and becoming unbalanced, dear fellow Mets fans. Wally would be a great w personality and hard nose efforting ; is this at all possible?? Which is more likely, dfa of Chris Young vs firing Terry? If I promise to com out and buy some tix to a few games, can I get both? Just asking

  • Penacious H

    Fair and becoming unbalanced, dear fellow Mets fans. Wally would be a great w personality and hard nose efforting ; is this at all possible?? Which is more likely, dfa of Chris Young vs firing Terry? If I promise to come out and buy some tix to a few games, can I get both? Just asking

  • Metiocrity

    Love it. Best part of the game was when Murph homered, a Mets fan stood up and faced the Giants faithful taunting them. I (in my Mets gear) heckled him to sit down and shut up.

  • Dave

    We can blame TC all we want, and he’s not without his share of blame, but how is a lineup that includes den Dekker, d’Arnaud, a cleanup hitter hitting below .220, Andrew Brown batting 5th – repeat, Andrew Brown batting 5th – and Ruben Tejada as the hot hand be expected to win any game against a major league team, let alone a 1st place team? The fact that the Mets don’t get no-hit about once a week speaks to the dearth of quality pitching in the game.

  • eric

    bad lineup to start with, but terry doesn’t help things by misusing it. Wasn’t Wright supposed to get a day off at some point? Double switching to get CY leading off? Taking Niese out after the 7th to facilitate the double switch? He constantly makes the wrong decisions.

  • Lenny65

    LOL Reuben Tejada…”hot hand”…add that to “things you’d never imagine anyone ever actually saying” file. I mean he’s young and it’s a little early to just abandon all hope but geez, this TDA guy is making a serious run at the Chiti Award for worst hitting Mets catcher of all-time. Ponder THAT statement for a few sad minutes! Young and Granderson, meanwhile, are making me yearn for the offensive production of a young Ryan Thompson or Nick Evans, even. Where have you gone, Timo Perez? A franchise turns its lonely eyes toward you.

    Note how I’m not goofing on the Mets relief corps and/or TC’s “interesting” use of those relievers. I kinds feel sorry for them, to be honest. They were all doomed as soon as they entered the Mets pen anyway but in typical Mets fashion they’re doing everything possible to hasten the decline. Perhaps they could do “backwards pen” and just start Rice or Torres every day and give them the hook in the 2nd or 3rd, then put the real starter in. And maybe TC could stand on his head during games. Couldn’t hurt.