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Spring of Our Unshakable Content

After paying just enough attention to Spring Training to notice the hitters aren’t necessarily behind the pitchers anymore — guys in Mets unis lost 14-9 on Saturday but won 11-0 on Sunday — I realize my anxieties are lagging behind my capacity for calm. That’s a very unusual March alignment.

Starting shortstop Asdrubal Cabrera might miss Opening Night [1]. I’m not worried.

Indefatigable utilityman and logical replacement Ruben Tejada might be traded [2]. I’m not worried.

Kevin Plawecki might be sent down [3] because the Mets would rather he play regularly and that a legitimate backup sit in his place. I’m not worried.

The Mets may not have a legitimate backup in-house [4] for Travis d’Arnaud. I’m not worried.

David Wright is conserving his energy [5]. I’m not worried.

Dilson Herrera fouled a ball off his knee [6] and is disappearing himself to some WBC-qualifying nonsense. I’m not worried.

A vaguely familiar collection of vowels named Taijeron has driven in more runs than anybody in camp, yet is reportedly not under serious consideration for the 25-man roster [7]. I’m not worried.

Goose Gossage said something silly about Yoenis Cespedes [8]. I’m not worried.

Ken Davidoff wrote something sillier about Lucas Duda [9]. I’m not worried.

And as for pitchers, the only one who worries me is Oliver Perez.

Oliver Perez, last seen in a Met uniform around this time of year in 2011? Why worry about him in the context of 2016 Mets Spring Training? Well, a Twitter movement was afoot the other day to infiltrate a Nationals promotion [10] that encourages fans to choose who Washington should immortalize in bobblehead this season. They didn’t say which fans could have a say, so it was thought amusingly mischievous that Mets fans saddle Nats fans with good ol’ Ollie. Unofficial exit polls indicated we were winning the Perez caucuses.

That worried me. That’s unnecessary hubris, no matter how fun-loving. That’s asking for Oliver Perez to carry a 65-inning scoreless streak into a September showdown versus the Mets, a team that has not had so much as a walk, let alone a hit off the veteran lefty all year, I can just hear Gary Cohen telling me.

Let sleeping dogs who wouldn’t accept a demotion to Buffalo [11] lie. Let the rest of March play out without major incident. Spring Training is, as usual, dragging, but it doesn’t seem to be piling up casualties. That, too, might be asking for it, but what can I tell ya? I’m not worried.

But don’t worry. There’s still time.

I had a real nice conversation about Amazin’ Again [12] and some other Metsian items last week with the guys at the Rising Apple Report, which you can listen to here [13]. And did I mention you can order a fresh copy of the only book celebrating the 2015 National League champions right here [14]?

If you’d like to come on down (or up, depending on your locale) to beautiful Bergino Baseball Clubhouse [15] on Thursday night, March 17, for my first event in support of Amazin’ Again, please RSVP to bergino@aol.com [16]. Thank you.