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Jason Fry and Greg Prince
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

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This Recap Is Sans Comic Relief

As Wilmer Font unraveled around 8 p.m. and Mets Twitter started shooting off typography puns, I promised that by 11 p.m. I’d have figured out a Comic Sans joke. But here it is past 1 a.m. and the title of this post is the closest you’re going to get. Have at it in the comments if this is an itch you’re determined to scratch.

It wasn’t that I was tired; it was more that by 11, Font’s poor performance no longer struck me as particularly amusing.

During spring training, Brodie Van Wagenen’s sunny optimism was trailed by a little black cloud of Met fans and baseball people who couldn’t help pointing out that the Mets were going to war with the oft-injured Steven Matz, the oft-bad Jason Vargas, and nothing behind them. Dallas Keuchel was available for the taking; so, for a while, was Gio Gonzalez. Gonzalez is now pitching ably for Milwaukee (though my I Told You So’s will be limited, seeing how I detest him); and Keuchel is still out there waiting for a phone call. Matz is on the injured list, with a forearm issue no one thinks is serious┬ábut who the hell knows, seeing how it’s Matz; and Vargas is on the injured list and it’s unlikely the team doctors will find a cure for bad.

Oh, and free agent Patrick Corbin? He signed with the Nats.

This is how you get a Wilmer Font in your rotation: by being cheap, unprepared, and blithe about what usually happens to starting staffs.

This isn’t to say Font is, say, Tommy Milone — to invoke a previous administration’s non-answer to the same problem. He looked decent enough against San Diego in his first go-round. But on Wednesday night in D.C. he had nothing — his location was poor and when he did get the ball over the plate Juan Lagares wound up sprinting after it. Font’s on his fourth organization in 13 months, which I suppose you could spin into saying teams keep seeing potential in him, if you want to sound like a kindly old aunt talking up a blind date with a hopeless nephew. I kept thinking his mechanics reminded me of a hipster throwing axes at a Gowanus bar, which might be where the Mets are looking for their next fifth starter.

Anyway, the Mets lost, 5-1, but it felt more like 50-1, what with Corbin throttling the Mets and keeping every Nats reliever not named Sean Doolittle the hell away from the mound.

Which isn’t to say the game didn’t have its momentary pleasures, as nearly all baseball games do. There was Pete Alonso making two nifty catches of tough foul pops, a reminder that Alonso has been a lot better than I think any of us expected in the field. Amed Rosario made some flashy plays as well — and, more critically, he made the routine ones. And Drew Gagnon got his first big-league hit. That’s a baseball moment I’ll always love — and Gagnon’s made me smile because he didn’t even try to be cool about it, asking the umpire to take the ball out of play about a nanosecond after he reached first base.

But still. The Mets lost by four because a problem pretty much everyone predicted arrived and they didn’t have an answer for it. And I can’t summon up a smile or a joke about that.

9 comments to This Recap Is Sans Comic Relief

  • MetFanMac

    I mean… they were throttled by Corbin. I’m as unhappy about the rotation’s lack of depth as you are, but there was basically no way they would have won this game except possibly by yanking Jacob deGrom out of his schedule yet again and hoping he put up nothing but goose eggs.

  • chuck

    Is my memory totally off, or weren’t Lugo and Gsellman effective starters in 2016, when the team was a walking infirmary but still made the postseason? Font looked like I could hit him last night.

    My 83 year old dad has said the Mets need to ditch Callaway nearly from day one. It took me a little while, but I agree with him.

    I think my wife had a typography pun, but I got nothing. She’s a much better writer than I am.

    • LeClerc

      Yes ! Lugo wants to start. In this rotation he’d be number three or four (Matz will always be delicate).

      Gsellman is certainly more talented than Vargas or Times New Roman.

  • LeClerc

    Flush Font, Flexen, Oswalt.

    The wit and wisdom of M. Callaway: “Frazier is a starter when he starts.”

  • 9th string catcher

    I was trying to come up with a decent font joke too, but couldn’t do any better than font size 0. Ah well.

    I’ve never bet on sports in my life, but was seriously tempted when I saw Corbin vs Font. Lock it up indeed.

  • Gil

    Wilmer font has no Futura with the Mets.

    That’s all I got. Corbin was nasty. Let’s get em tonight.

  • open the gates

    The solution used to be simple. Carry some swing men on the pitching staff – guys who can come in to get a few outs, step in early and give innings in case of early starter meltdown or injury, or temporarily join the pitching staff when starters are on the IL. (Memo to Messrs. Callaway and Van Wagenen – Google the name Terry Leach if this concept is confusing you.) Of course, we have at least two pitchers who fit that profile – Lugo and Gsellman – but whatever.

    I thought of a Font joke but it’s unprintable.

  • Daniel Hall

    Man, what would I give for this team to have a Arial manager …

    Oh, Daniel, that was… even for you… that was… oy…