The headline didn’t have much on The Onion. “Farnsworth,” it reported, “rides bus without being Met.” Well, I thought, that’s too bad. It would have been nice if somebody had picked up Farnsworth, but sometimes you just have to walk home from the bus stop.
Of course it didn’t require much of a double-take to realize [...]
As Charlie Rich taught me when I was just a lad listening to WGBB, people like to talk, lord, don’t they love to talk. When they can’t talk, they whisper. Sometimes the whispering works as such:
• First somebody whispers to somebody about this guy.
• Then somebody disseminates the whispers about the guy.
• Then everybody rushes [...]
We can all agree Niese didn’t have it and the Mets did little against Happ and missing the Astros is something that sounds good in theory, but at this moment they can’t move to the American League soon enough for our tastes. The Mets, a pretty good club in April, started May by losing again [...]
The only surprise, one supposes, is it didn’t happen at three in the morning.
No, this time it was around 3:45 in the afternoon, televising the execution live on their own network. They planned to off Tony Bernazard. Instead they shot themselves in the foot — a foot that must be made of titanium.
They shot off [...]