The following account is issued as a public service as well as for cheap jokes. If you are over 50 years of age, please consult your physician.
Bartolo Colon was supposed to start Monday afternoon’s Mets game, but was called away due to a family health emergency.
I was supposed to have a colonoscopy during Monday afternoon’s […]
Sandy Alderson insisted losing two out of three to the Nationals didn’t have anything to do with Friday’s developments in Metland, but let’s not kid ourselves.
Wilmer Flores is going to be the guy at shortstop, not Ruben Tejada. Lucas Duda is going to play against tough lefties. Kirk Nieuwenhuis was going to be the guy in left, except […]
This business wherein the Mets overcome years of being mostly bad and become mostly good is not a linear endeavor. Homestands of 8-2 are followed up with road trips of 5-5. Two out of three get taken from the Phillies only to have two of three (with one to go) given to the Giants. Exhilarating […]
A sportswriter once asked Yankees owner Colonel Ruppert to describe his perfect afternoon. Replied Ruppert: “It’s when the Yankees score eight in the first and then slowly pull away.”
Wrong team, different margin, but yeah — a flurry of first-inning Mets hits was all Bartolo Colon would need, and all we’d need with our team finally back […]
You know things are strange when Greg Prince violates a baseball taboo.
The email arrived about midway through Bartolo Colon‘s attempt at retiring 27 straight Seattle Mariners, with the subject line HERESY. “I’m not feeling more than minimally emotionally invested in Bartolo Colon’s particular effort today,” Greg wrote to me.
He didn’t spell out what that effort was, […]
You can’t be a Mets fan in the present era without dreaming big and accepting small. Take the ninth inning of Saturday night’s game, for example, one of seven innings in which the Mets didn’t score, one of six innings in which the Mets left at least one runner on base. With one out and […]
The National League East is a mess. In every other division, run differential is a pretty fair predictor of W-L record. In the NL East, the run differentials by place in the standings currently look like this: 0, +39, -5, -1, -40. The 0 squad is the Braves, in first place by the thinnest of […]
I called the Mets boring yesterday, and I’ll stick with that — if the Mets are exciting, it’s generally because something horrible is happening to them, and more often than not the horrible thing that’s happening is their own fault.
But there is an exception: Bartolo Colon is not boring.
He’s not exciting either, and that’s the […]
Friday night in Dyersville, Ia., the 25th anniversary of Field Of Dreams was celebrated. That’s the movie in which legendary ballplayers of yore stream out of a cornfield in the full flower of youth and play the game that made them iconic as if no time at all had passed.
And in a wholly coincidental development, […]
The 2014 Mets have their problems, goodness knows — tepid hitting, shaky defense, ever-shrinking payrolls, changing stories and omnipresent drama.
But at least they aren’t the 2014 Phillies.
My word. The snarky term in vogue for what the Phillies are is “tire fire,” and it’s a good one — tire fires are gag-inducing, visible for miles and hard […]