Try to be cool and analytical all you want, but if you’re a fan eventually you’ll give in to fury and bloodlust.
I’M NEVER ATTENDING ANOTHER GAME UNLESS THEY RELEASE LUIS CASTILLO BY MORNING!
AARON HEILMAN MUST BE MAROONED ON A DESERT ISLAND WITHOUT EVEN A VOLLEYBALL FOR COMPANY!
CHAIN DOUG SISK [...]
John Axford, the Brewers’ closer who looks enough like George Custer that he could spend the offseason taking part in re-enactments at Little Big Horn, recently blew a save and had to depart before facing to the media. So left behind an apologetic and rather charming note, one that ended with “Cliché… cliché… cliché… another cliché. [...]
Periodically you’ll read one of us insisting that subpar baseball is still preferable to sitting glumly around in the winter. I was thinking of that as the Marlins, having dispatched Chris Capuano, tattooed the even more hapless D.J. Carrasco, threatening to put 20 hits on the scoreboard of the hideous Soilmaster Stadium (or, if you [...]
It’s wonderful to be a Mets fan right now. It really is. While everybody tells jokes, the Mets have assembled a Quadruple-A lineup of guys who don’t do too much but do just enough, playing the game the right way, not shooting themselves in the foot and —
DICKEY! WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT? I KNOW [...]
Mike Pelfrey’s ERA is 15.63. He’ll get another start tomorrow. And another one four days after that. And so on for a reasonable distance into the future.
Blaine Boyer’s ERA is 10.80. He threw 119 pitches this year. His Mets career is presumably over: He was designated for assignment after yesterday’s debacle, a 3-2 Mets lead [...]
It’s a silly but time-honored part of being a fan to make far too much out of the first few games of the year.
So, Opening Night: The Mets looked anemic at bat, Mike Pelfrey scuffled on the mound and Josh Johnson was borderline unhittable. DOOM! WE WILL NEVER WIN A GAME, EVERY PITCHER IS GOING [...]
As more and more Mets crowd into Port St. Lucie just long enough for it to be exciting before it becomes amazingly tedious, here’s what I don’t get: The Mets have four — four! — alliterative pitchers in camp, and none of them has been issued an alliterative uniform number.
According to the spring roster Adam [...]
My sister gave me the news thirty years ago this morning: John Lennon was murdered last night. My first thought was the next thing Suzan said:
“Now they’ll never get back together.”
Lennon’s assassination (which always sounded strange, in that politicians got “assassinated,” but what else could you call it?) was one of those events that just [...]