Help! I’m being held prisoner inside a Mets-Marlins series!
—Fortune cookie opened at Marlins Park this week, according to totally reputable urban legend
The Marlins were one of the two worst baseball teams playing at their eponymous park Wednesday afternoon. The Mets were the other one. Neither could be seriously described as the best of the pair. [...]
You could have colored me the whitest shade of pale orange and blue when I saw Frankie “Release K-Rod Now” Rodriguez return to the mound in the bottom of the tenth inning to attempt to do with a one-run lead what he couldn’t do with a two-run lead in the bottom of the ninth inning.
I was checking my trusty 2010 Mets pocket schedule and every single last one of the boxes — be it orange, bronze, silver, gold, platinum or road gray — indicates we play OPP. Naughty By Nature notwithstanding, that’s shorthand for Opponent. I don’t care if everybody else’s 2010 Mets pocket schedule says we’re following BAL [...]