From the Daily News [1]:
Tom Glavine presided over kangaroo court before yesterday's game. The camaraderie-building tradition of fining players for generally humorous indiscretions had been absent in the Mets' clubhouse since Darryl Boston* served as judge in the early 1990s.
Tom Glavine? TOM GLAVINE?
I wasn't aware he was even familiar with those 24 guys who aren't on his mound. Since he apparently is, I've got an idea for some indiscretions to put on the books, with suggested fines:
Constant alibis in analyzing yet another bad start = Trade to some other team for Double-A scrubs
Whining about Questec, the strike zone, etc. = Trade to some other team for Double-A scrubs
Consistently spitting the bit against biggest division rival = Trade to some other team for Double-A scrubs
Refusing to change approach despite ample evidence that it's no longer working = Trade to some other team for Double-A scrubs
Chronic injuries to throats of booing onlookers = Trade to some other team for Double-A scrubs
General suckage = Trade to some other team for Double-A scrubs
Seriously: How on earth did Mike Cameron not get this gig?
* The Faith and Fear Court rules Adam Rubin has to eat three soggy and/or rock-hard pretzels in one half-inning for his own misdeed. It's Daryl Boston.