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Met Games and I Can’t Take It Anymore

foreigner [1]

“In my life, there’s been heartache and pain…” How ya doin’ out there, Mets fans?!

At Citi Field Friday night, Foreigner played “Urgent,” and Sandy Alderson woke up to contradict that characterization of the Mets’ situation, calling it “inaccurate…we’d say our plan is proceeding right on schedule.”

Foreigner played “Waiting For A Girl Like You,” and a Mets marketing department representative contacted 40,000 girls like her and asked them to please vote for David Wright to start the All-Star Game over Pablo Sandoval.

Foreigner played “Feels Like The First Time,” and Elias sent word that, no, technically it was the umpteenth time the Mets lost listlessly [2] in 2013 — and that it actually felt like the eleventy-billionth time.

Foreigner played “Cold As Ice,” with John Buck, Jordany Valdespin and Justin Turner singing harmony.

Foreigner played “Double Vision,” and the Mets added a second set of convenience fees to all tickets.

Foreigner played “Juke Box Hero,” and Terry Collins ordered Scott Rice to warm up, just out of habit.

Foreigner played “Hot Blooded,” and nearly 3,000 miles away, Wally Backman suggested he knew the cure for hot blood, causing an unnamed Mets official to roll his eyes, shake his head and vehemently deny that anybody in the Mets organization knows how to fix anything [3].

Foreigner played “I Want To Know What Love Is,” and Shaun Marcum remained baffled as to what wins are [4].