“Wanna watch the Mets play the Angels?”
“What’s gonna be in it?”
“Mike Trout.”
“Didn’t he used to be great?”
“A great is a great. Wanna watch?”
“What else is gonna be in it?”
“Travis d’Arnaud.”
“Doesn’t he always kill us?”
“Not necessarily. Wanna watch?”
“What else is gonna be in it?”
“A bullpen game.”
“One of those things with no starters? Don’t those suck?”
“They can, but sometimes they’re OK if there’s a real starter on the right side. Wanna watch?”
“What else is gonna be in it?”
“Balls being called strikes at a critical juncture.”
“Isn’t that terrible umpiring?”
“Probably, but perspective matters here. Wanna watch?”
“What else is gonna be in it?”
“A leadoff homer.”
“Won’t the Mets be behind if there’s a leadoff homer?”
“There are leadoff homers and then there are homers that lead off the home team’s first inning, hint, hint. Wanna watch?”
“What else is gonna be in it?”
“Francisco Lindor.”
“The guy who hasn’t had a base hit in ages?”
“Slumps end, hint, hint, hint. Wanna watch?”
“What else is gonna be in it?”
“Pete Alonso.”
“The slugger who hasn’t hit a home run in ages?”
“Like I said, slumps END, sometimes resoundingly. Wanna watch?
“Gee, I dunno. Can you promise me I’ll be happy if I do?”
“I can promise you you’ll be sorry if you don’t.”
“OK, let’s watch.”
“Too late. You missed it because you asked too many questions.”
“What happened?”
“Read between the lines [1].”
“What does that mean?”
“Again, with the questions.”