The blog for Mets fans
who like to read

ABOUT US

Greg Prince and Jason Fry
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

Got something to say? Leave a comment, or email us at faithandfear@gmail.com. (Sorry, but we have no interest in ads, sponsored content or guest posts.)

Need our RSS feed? It's here.

Visit our Facebook page, or drop by the personal pages for Greg and Jason.

Or follow us on Twitter: Here's Greg, and here's Jason.

Mo Hit One For Casey

When we paws to remember those who made our world a more joyous, more loving place, it’s Flashback Friday at Faith and Fear and Flushing.

The Aikens family of Seneca, S.C. had the right idea. One fall day in 1954, not long after the New York Giants swept the Cleveland Indians for the world championship, they had a son. They named him Willie — Willie Mays Aikens. In doing so, they guaranteed they would raise a baseball player. Willie Mays Aikens made the majors in 1977. You could look it up.

Names aren’t always destiny. I learned that personally. I had a young’n. Gave him the most baseball name I could think of. Yet I could never seem to get him immersed in the game I love.

Did I mention I’m talking about a cat?

***

On April 26, 1993, Stephanie called me from work. She had a proposition, a pretty straightforward one. There’s this cat, and he needs a home. He’s really sweet. Can we? Can we?

This was six months into my indoctrination as a cat person. It took nearly 30 years to get me to the platform, but only 30 seconds to bring me on board. When we moved to East Rockaway in October 1992, Steph asked our new landlords to add a rider to our lease. We wanted to get a cat. There were supposedly no pets allowed, but the mellow older couple that owned the house weren’t sticklers. Harold didn’t mind and Marge just asked that we keep it indoors, lest the birds who came to her feeder be disturbed. Stephanie agreed. I shrugged.

I did not want a cat. It’s not that I didn’t like them per se. I preferred them to one option — dogs — though not to another — status quo. I had never had a pet. The idea, like most things new, frightened me. I’m not cleaning the litter box, I said. I wasn’t quite sure what went on in a litter box and I didn’t want to find out. Stephanie agreed to that, all while reassuring me that cats don’t randomly scratch and claw their people, something I insisted was going to happen.

Oh, all right. I relented. On Halloween, we drove up to Port Washington and the North Shore Animal League to adopt a cat. One condition, though: I get to name him.

We got him and I named him. He was Bernie, a three-month-old black-and-white American shorthair kitten who showed the right mix of playfulness (he grabbed at the drawstring on my hood) and temperament (he was the only cat who didn’t seem suspicious of me). He was Bernie in honor of Bernard Shaw, host of CNN’s Inside Politics, must-see TV for me in that election season.

Bernie was less polished anchorcat and more myowling kitten as we drove him home. We stopped at a pet store to secure some supplies, including the litter box I had no intention of getting anywhere near. Bernie kept caterwauling. Is this all these things do?

The three of us arrive home. Stephanie places the box on the kitchen floor. No litter, just box. Bernie jumps in and takes care of business. WOW! He held it in the whole ride home! I was impressed by cats, especially this one. It was love at first whiz.

Still, the early Bernie days were a little mysterious for each of us, him and me. He spent hours hiding under the recliner. Then he came out and threw up. Then he returned to under the recliner. But he was a sport, considering the change of lifestyle he was undergoing. He posed for more pictures than Elle MacPherson. He was so small, so convenient to scoop up for seconds at a time, long enough for Steph to click the camera before he wriggled free. Slowly, we adjusted to each other.

I think the true turning point was Christmas Eve, when I brought him back to North Shore for his complimentary neutering. Now that resulted in a caterwauling ride home. While he expressed his dismay over the whole procedure, I talked him down, told him everything was going to be all right. Like I knew. “Don’t worry, we’re almost there.”

We walked through the door, I released him from his carrier and just like that, he stopped whining. He just wanted to come home.

So that was us, our little family, me, my wife and our cat. What more could we need?

Not another cat. No. No way. No reason. I’m just getting comfortable with Bernie.

***

But this other cat, Stephanie pleaded. He is so sweet, so adorable, so cute, so loving, with a story to break your heart: One of her fellow case managers at the Upper East Side agency for the elderly where they worked, a girl from Italy named Noemi, had a client, an old man, who lived alone. A cat lover herself, she hooked him up with a tabby in need of adoption. The tabby was a year old when he moved in. He then spent a year in the company of the old man. Then the old man died. Nobody knew for a week…except for the tabby.

OK, my heart is broken, but why can’t Noemi take him? Noemi tried. But Noemi has a cat at home who, she said in a thick Italian accent, “ees a leetle beetch.” The incumbent cat vetoed a companion. It was Stephanie’s turn to step up.

What if Bernie reacts the same as the leetle beetch? Stephanie said this cat had such a wonderful disposition that Bernie had to like him. You should see him. He kisses everybody. In catspeak, that means licking. He liked to lick. He lived to lick. He could lick it up. But whether he was cleaning (cats use their tongues like people use washcloths) or being affectionate, calling a cat licky sounds unbecoming. That’s why, Stephanie said, the old man named him Kissy.

Well, I’ll think about it, I said. I thought about it. I called back.

“OK, you can bring the cat home,” I consented. “But one thing: I’m not calling any cat of mine Kissy.”

***

The next night, I walked into the living room, and staring up at me from the top of the couch was an orange cat I’d never seen before. He had never seen me. I walked over and said hello. He licked my face. He licked my hair. He licked my arm. Son of a gun, he really is kissy. But I’m still not calling him that.

Thus commenced the journey of Casey the Cat. Casey, so named because Kissy was repellent. Casey, so named because I’ve always done a pretty decent Casey Kasem impression (which morphed into Casey Kitty and American Top Kitty). But Casey, mostly so named because it is the greatest name in baseball history. And I’m thinking more than at the bat.

***

Charles Dillon Casey Stengel Cat Prince. That’s what I liked to call him. Casey didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. He didn’t know about the rumpled Kansas City (K.C.) native born in 1890, a player of some note, a character of characters, a New York Giant, a Brooklyn Dodger and, if we can skip what he was doing in the 1950s, ultimately, the first manager of the New York Mets.

The Mets are who they are because of Casey Stengel. Without him extolling the worst club in baseball history as the Amazin’ Mets, we’d have been the Houston Colt .45s without mosquitoes, just another awful expansion outfit. There would have been no placards, no Youth of America, no “if you wanna be a sailor, join the navy,” no “we wuz gonna give you a piece, Marv, but we wuz afraid you’d drop it,” no “tell ’em I’m being embalmed,” no “can’t anybody here play this game?” no anecdotes for Ralph Kiner to dig up during rain delays over the next four decades.

The Mets would not have been the Mets without Casey Stengel. Mets fans would not have been Mets fans without that Amazin’ aura. And this Mets fan would not have truly become the cat person he became without Casey the Cat.

One cat makes you a that-cat person. Two cats means you’re serious. As someone whose calling card had always been baseball, it meant I was now something else. I was the guy with the kitties and I was enthusiastically putting my pussycats on a pedestal. Their pictures shared space in my office with those of Seaver and Gooden and Brogna. That’s how much they got to me, the law firm of Bernie & Casey. The Boys. When they merged their talents in 1993, it was an instant hit partnership. We have the pictures to prove it. Casey would nuzzle Bernie and Bernie would let him.

Stephanie was right. Casey loved Bernie and Bernie loved him back. Bernie had seniority in our house but Casey immediately took to the role of benevolent big brother. He taught Bernie the kitten how to be a cat. I don’t think Bernie ever purred before Casey showed him the vocal ropes. Casey knew how to purr — loudly and with affection. It was his avocation. Bernie loved him maybe because he could get him to scratch on the bedroom door on his behalf to wake us up to feed them (mostly Bernie) at three, four, five in the morning. It worked. Casey scratched, one of us woke, Bernie ate. It worked so well, that Bernie the tiny kitten became a photographic memory. Bernie The Cat became the biggest thing going in the animal kingdom by the end of 1994.

Casey loved Stephanie. That was the combo that really got me. He loved his mommy and mommy loved him back. They slept together. Sometimes I’d let him into the bedroom with Steph asleep. Casey thought nothing of climbing on top of my snoozing spouse. She’d sleep on her side and he’d sleep on her side that was available. Sometimes Casey’d curl up around her head. And to not make me feel bad, sometimes he’d come over and go kissy on me — my scalp, my arms, my feet. I think he had a cleaning neurosis, but at least he was built for it. He had a long, rough tongue that wouldn’t always fit back into his mouth. He was hilarious that way.

***

One thing he wasn’t, despite his pedigree, was baseball-savvy. A real shame. If only he’d understood who he was named for. Casey Stengel’s claim to fame before he managed the Yankees between 1949 and 1960 to ten pennants and seven World Series titles came when he played for the Pirates in 1919. Visiting Ebbets Field, he won back the hearts of his old fans by doffing his cap and revealing a sparrow which fluttered away. He pulled another bird out from his hat a year later when he was a Phillie.

Casey the Cat would’ve liked that. He would’ve watched the birdie and waited for its return. He’d do that. If a bird flew close to our living room window, Casey would hop up on the sill and follow its progress, whether it remained nearby or not. Marge was right to insist we keep them indoors.

I couldn’t give Casey a bird, but I could give him a cap. One of my many feline-related goals during the course of the 1990s was to catch Casey by surprise, sneaking a Mets cap onto his head while he watched me watch the Mets. He never went for it. As soon as it was on, he shook it off. It was OK for him to run that sandpapery tongue on me, but god forbid I annoy him.

Couldn’t tell you how many games Casey witnessed. About as many as I did during the seasons he was on the active roster. He liked joining me on the couch, particularly if mommy was there, too. He never booed and he rarely hissed. Few fans can say the same.

***

Casey Stengel was available to manage the Mets because the Yankees, spoiled by success, fired him after they lost the 1960 World Series. “I’ll never make the mistake of turning 70 again,” he told the press. The Mets won the city’s PR battle by grabbing him as soon as they were invented. The first time the Mets faced the Yankees, in a spring training game in 1962, Casey managed as if it were the seventh or eighth game of the World Series. He played his regulars and his regulars won.

Casey the Cat would’ve appreciated that. He took the Subway Series rivalry very seriously. Shoot, he emerged from surgery in time to catch the first Mets-Yankees game of 1999, live from Yankee Stadium. Casey made the mistake of developing a bump on his back that spring. We were concerned. We got some pet insurance and took him to the vet in Island Park. She said it was probably nothing, but it ought to be removed. That was Friday, June 4. Casey, back shaved, was literally in stitches, wearing a cone to protect them from his tongue. He was disoriented from surgery. Put off by his cone, he kept backing himself into a corner. I think it was his tribute to his team. The Mets were disoriented. They were put off by David Cone who backed them into a corner. The Mets lost. But Casey won. Word from the doctor was the bump was a fibroma. Nothing malignant. She said he’d be fine.

And he was. So were the Mets. That Sunday, the Mets broke what seemed like a life-threatening eight-game losing streak, against Roger Clemens, no less. That started them on a 40-15 run that inoculated them against a September choke job that nearly cost them a playoff spot. Casey was on hand for the Wild Cards of 1999 and 2000. He and Bernie and Stephanie all joined me on the couch for the Subway Series, the real one. I got a new orange Mets cap for the occasion. Bernie, less mobile than he once was, didn’t budge when I placed it on him. We have the pictures to prove that, too. Casey still wasn’t going for it.

Come late November 2000, a bump reappeared on Casey. Probably just the fibroma, we figured. We hoped. On the Friday after Thanksgiving, we brought him in, and for the second time in less than 18 months, Casey underwent surgery. Similar post-op experience: back shaved, stitches, the cone. Similar prognosis — benign. Our vet said sometimes you don’t get it all. This time, she was pretty sure, they did.

***

They didn’t. Or they did and there was something to more to it. In February 2001, as pitchers and catchers were returning to Port St. Lucie, a bump reappeared on our cat’s back. This was too much for the local vet. She referred us to a real hospital for animals with real specialists for animal diseases. Yes, they’d have to operate. On March 2, Casey went under the knife for the third time in 21 months. This was a cat, 12 pounds of fur and bone, and he was being cut into every 30 weeks.

The operation was successful, I was told over the phone. Casey is in the ICU. Can you imagine that? A cat in intensive care? We spent the weekend with just Bernie, who noticed something was missing. Don’t tell me cats aren’t aware. It was Casey who was the people cat. Bernie, I liked to say, was the star of the family, an absolute matinee idol but slightly aloof, a little unapproachable. But with Casey absent, he saw what he had to do. He nuzzled up to Stephanie, may have even licked her hand. As brothers go, they beat the Niekros, the Perrys, even the Aarons.

We fetched Casey a couple of days later and nursed him to what seemed like health. On a return visit to the hospital to have his stitches removed, we consulted with an oncologist. Coldest bastard in a lab coat I ever saw. He was all business. Your cat, he said, has cancer and nine months to live. The cancer will come back. Here are your options: You can get him a series of chemo treatments. That will buy him another nine months. Combine that with radiation and that could make it two years. The radiation can be on Long Island, but you’d have to go to Boston for the chemo.

We had already spent $2,000 on Casey at the hospital. That didn’t count the two previous operations. Money wasn’t no object. Casey came first, but geez, you wanna do what to my cat? Put him through chemotherapy and radiation? My mother went through that. She was a full-sized person and she couldn’t take it. You’re saying my 12-pound cat should go through it now?

The oncologist wasn’t saying that, not really. Steph and I realized a little later that when somebody tells you to take your cat out-of-state for expensive, complicated treatments to buy him a few more months, he’s probably telling you not to. But that wasn’t the deciding factor. The deciding factor was Casey’s eyes, Casey’s actions. Before the oncologist came into the room, he was purring and rubbing his face glands up against the nurse and then the examination table and then anything handy. That was Casey. Casey loved to scent-mark. (I still reflexively put my knuckles out waiting for them to be claimed by the first cat who will give them a good rub-up.) But when Dr. Cold Bastard came in, Casey jumped off the table down to the floor and cowered. No purring. No rubbing. That wasn’t Casey. He gave me this look…Please, don’t do this to me. No more procedures. No more intensive care. Just get me out of here. I can’t take it anymore.

We listened to his eyes. Casey never went back there or to another hospital.

***

But we didn’t give up. One of the good things about being known as cat people is you develop a pretty decent network of other cat people, cat people who know something. One of them was Stephanie’s director at her agency downtown, where she’d been working for a couple of years. She advised us to go holistic, recommending a vet who did some wonderful things for her cats. He came to her apartment. That was the catch, he only did housecalls, only in Manhattan.

We wanted him. We toyed with the idea of sneaking Casey into one of our offices in the city on a weekend when nobody was around or borrowing somebody’s apartment. None of it really made sense. Maybe I could talk this guy into coming out our way. I’ll double his price. I could afford it. Look at how much we saved on passing up those Boston trips.

I got ahold of the doctor, told him about Casey, told him he was highly recommended and we’d be deeply appreciative if you’d come out to us, even though we’re in East Rockaway. Wouldn’t you know it, he said, I’m headed out that way this Saturday, I’ll stop by then. Great! Need directions?

***

This is where I made a wrong turn. By telling him how to get to East Rockaway, I made the doc realize that East Rockaway was nowhere near where he was going to be this weekend. He was headed to Far Rockaway or Rockaway Beach or one of those damn Rockaways in Queens that people were always confusing with ours, which is nowhere near its namesakes. The vet said forget it, I’m not schlepping all the way to Long Island.

My whole life, I’ve taken no for an answer. I always feel I’m impeding on other people’s right to ignore me. But this wasn’t about me. This was about a cat whose only chance for survival lay in this guy’s bag of tricks.

“My cat has a death sentence,” I heard myself tell this doctor. “And you can do something about it.”

I guess my mother taught me how to dish out the guilt, because it worked. The holistic vet who never made housecalls outside the five boroughs grunted that all right, all right, I’ll come over Saturday.

***

We prepared for our first housecall, April 21, 2001. Steph cleared the coffee table of all its piles of crap, most of it baseball-related. I looked out the window. There was no sign of the reluctant medicine man. I peeked at the TV. The Mets were not scoring against the Reds, a symptom of their early-season, post-pennant hangover.

The phone rang. It was a clearly cranky holistic vet. I’ve followed your directions, but I can’t find your house, grumble, grumble. He described his position. It was like a block away. Stay right there, I said. I’ll come get you.

I threw on a Mets windbreaker and headed out and flagged him down. He and his girlfriend (this was a Saturday) emerged from their car. He was wearing a Mets cap.

“This place,” he fumed, “is no fun to get to.”

“At least,” I said in appeasement, “I know my cat won’t be examined by some Yankees fan.”

His eyes lit up. “You’ve got that right.”

A highly recommended vet and a Mets fan. Now we’re getting somewhere.

The vet and his assistant or main squeeze or whatever she was came upstairs. Casey was waiting on the table. He proceeded to receive an Eastern examination. This, it was explained, was different from a Western examination. It involved a lot of feeling the cat up. No squirming, no squealing, Casey sat still for it. The doctor was onto something. Until…

The Mets started to hit. We all looked up at the TV. Kevin Appier rounded third and headed for home. I had been concerned for my cat’s life. This doctor, on assignment, was confronting cancer. But we both remembered what was really important. The Mets scored. Wasn’t that something, we said to each other.

The Mets won. The cat — remember him? — he wasn’t immortal, but he was going to outlive the oncologist’s prognosis. He’s too healthy, our visitor said. That sigh of relief could be heard from East Rockaway to Cincinnati, where Armando Benitez would record his third save of the season. The vet recommended a bunch of herbs and chicken, baked chicken. Cook for the cat. Give him bottled water. It will help. You’ll see.

We would. How could I not trust a Mets fan who came all the way out to the apparent boonies? Especially a Mets fan whose girlfriend was impressed enough with our home to declare “you’re the only people with more Mets stuff than him,” the vet. Yeah, he allowed, you do have more stuff than I do. Do you have season tickets, too?

No, I told him, but I just went in on a partial plan with some friends, Tuesdays and Fridays.

So did he. Where were my tickets?

Mezzanine. So were his. Which section?

Section 9.

So were his. The vet, who couldn’t bear the thought of driving maybe 45 minutes out of his way, actually sat within five rows of me twice a week every week the Mets were home. That had to be a sign.

***

The 2001 Mets looked pretty sick, but Casey was looking better. The chicken and the herbs helped. For at least a few months, his recovery was, to quote the Ol’ Perfesser himself, amazin’, amazin’, amazin’. But another bump in the road was inevitable. It showed itself on him in July. I don’t remember if it was our holistic vet or on the Web, but we learned about a recently approved cancer drug. Our local vet could dispense it. She tracked it down and dutifully injected it every Saturday for five weeks. It didn’t help. The shots only bothered Casey, made him sore.

After the last of those trips, Stephanie and I knew that was the ballgame, so to speak. We could keep making with the chicken and the herbs and the bottled water (it certainly wasn’t hurting Bernie any) and we could let him have at our skin and our hair and all the things he always liked to kiss. But there was an air of inevitability to all this now. Casey was going to die soon.

I saw it with my mother. I rooted for it to happen. That sounds mean, but you had to be there. She was a wreck. It happened to her and it would happen to Casey. Yet he was still capable of amazin’ behavior. Stephanie’s director and her husband got the full Casey treatment when they dropped by unexpectedly in January 2002. We took pictures of her with the cat, Casey willingly being cradled in a stranger’s arms. That’s the Casey that made East Rockaway famous.

***

The 2002 baseball season commenced. The Mets, reinforced by Mo Vaughn and Robbie Alomar, were supposed to be good. They weren’t. Neither was Casey. The bump was the size of a pitcher’s mound. That May, my best friend Chuck came over. Bernie was always suspicious of visitors, so no biggie when he spit and growled and hid. But Casey was always friendly, always got jazzed by new people. This time, Casey tucked himself behind the TV. I don’t want anybody to see me this way, he told us.

It just got worse. The tumor was bursting through the skin. The smell of dead tissue permeated the apartment. Casey took to a spot in the kitchen near the garbage. It was too intentional to be a coincidence. Just throw me out. I’m done. We weren’t doing that. We got him a towel to lie on there. This always fastidious cat lost the ability or perhaps the will to groom himself. His exemplary cleanliness — he seemed incapable of slovenliness — was beyond his reach. He often couldn’t make it to the litter box. We sighed and picked up after him as necessary.

He still had his moments, almost as if he were tidying up his affairs. Because his control over his functions was, to be kind, erratic, we kept him out of the bedroom. But one Sunday night he just had to come in. He wanted on the bed. I helped him up. And he came over and licked Stephanie on the face. Then me on the arm. He hadn’t done that for I don’t know how many months. He had to do it one more time. It was his bottom of the ninth. He wasn’t going to not get his last licks. And I guess he never really stopped being kissy.

***

Neither of us was brave enough to do what pet owners are forced to do. We talked about it, of course. When should we call the vet? When should we make an appointment to, um, you know? Not as long as he’s walking, I said. He was walking, but less and less. Now he was limping. Not as long as he’s eating. He has an appetite. If he wants to eat, he wants to live. But he was eating less and less.

This couldn’t go on. On Tuesday June 25, I called our vet’s office and spoke to Lorri. The vet was all right, but Lorri was awesome. She was the office manager, the one who made sure Bernie and Casey got taken care of, got the biggest kennel cage available when we had to board them. She was Bernie’s champion. Both she and Bernie were, shall we say, full-figured, which is maybe why she always doted on him, whereas others in the waiting room kind of pointed and chuckled at that big cat. She felt for Casey, too, and she knew why I was calling. Lorri made an appointment for us to bring Casey in early afternoon, Saturday, June 29. That way all the other people and pets would be gone. You don’t want to have your cat put to sleep while somebody’s waiting to get their cockatoo looked at.

I couldn’t believe we were doing this. That very Wednesday, I came home late and dug some tuna salad out of the fridge. I sat on the couch, mindlessly shoveling it into my mouth with a piece of bagel when I heard stirring. It was Casey. Almost gone, he sensed tuna. He dragged himself from the kitchen to the living room. The hell with the herbs. I gave him all the tuna I could find. Stephanie took to feeding him ice cream.

That was a last hurrah and it was agonizing to realize it. I sought out everybody at my beverage magazine and via e-mail who was a cat person for advice, for a shoulder. To a person, they were extraordinary in their empathy. My Tuesday/Friday season ticket partners, Jason and Emily, husband and wife, didn’t have a cat at the moment, but they were beautiful about it. The disappointing Mets were preparing for their annual trip to Yankee Stadium that Friday night, the 28th of June, three years and three weeks since the Friday night in 1999 when Casey came home from his first operation. At this juncture, given my cat’s condition, to say nothing of the Mets’ recent nosedive (21-27 since early May), I couldn’t give a whit about what happened in the Bronx.

Jason saw some possibilities, though. “Mo,” he urged Vaughn in an e-mail to me, “hit one for Casey.” [Lest you think Jason is merely a terrific blogger, he happens to moonlight as a top-notch human being.]

I worked past the 7:05 first pitch. Nothing new there. I was trying to finish a Snapple cover story. It seems I’d been staying late to finish Snapple cover stories since I first became a cat person. This was the third one. Stephanie was home and told me Casey was still with us, that the trip to the vet would still be in order. I tried to forget all that. Finish the stupid story. Listen to the stupid game. The stupid Yankees did what the stupid Yankees tended to do. They scored five in the bottom of the third and took a 6-1 lead. Snapple, somewhere on my PC screen, was touting another innovation.

***

In the fourth inning, Mo Vaughn came up with one on. He got ahold of a Mike Mussina pitch and sent it over the wall. I’ll be damned. Mo did it.

Mo hit one for Casey.

I didn’t know what it meant, but I was glad it happened. The Mets were still losing and would go on to lose 11-5, but the final score could hardly matter less.

***

At 9:45, my phone rang. It was Stephanie. She didn’t have to say a word. I knew.

“Casey’s gone.”

Stephanie was on the living room floor with him. He let out a little burst of noise, a last breath or two, and that was that. Bernie hovered. The three of them were together at the end. I was at work. Casey was twelve, approximately 64 in people years. Too young, but nearly seven months better than the oncologist’s prognosis.

I asked Steph when it happened. About an hour ago, she said, which would make it 8:45. Mo’s home run came around 7:45, no later than 8:00, certainly before 8:45. It didn’t cure him, but it somehow made me feel better.

***

Let me wrap this thing up, I said. I wrote real fast and took care of Snapple. At Penn Station, I stopped by the Central Market deli, the place that sold sushi to go. If Casey liked tuna, I decided, I should bring home some tuna rolls. Stephanie and I toasted him with raw fish. He would’ve wanted it that way. Actually, he would’ve wanted the fish.

Saturday morning, I called Lorri at the vet’s. Wouldn’t you know it, I said. Casey was considerate to the end. Sixteen hours before we were going to have our guts wrenched by watching our cat euthanized, he saved us the trouble. We won’t be needing our appointment.

Of course this left us with a dead cat in a Land’s End box. A fly was circling it. I was insulted. Get away from my cat, you vulture. We called the Bide-A-Wee home in Wantagh, about 20 minutes away. They offered cremation. Bring your cat over.

We delivered Casey to these people who said they’d have him back for us to pick up in a couple of weeks. And that was that. That was the life and death of Charles Dillon Casey Stengel Cat Prince. It was, to borrow from a chapter title in a biography I have of our first manager, An Amazin’ Exit.

***

We left Bide-A-Wee and headed toward home. Being Long Islanders, we marked one of the milestone days of our lives the way Long Islanders do. We stopped at a diner.

In the spring of 2002, Stephanie had started a new job, one that had her working most Saturdays, if not this one. Her new routine had me waking up early on Saturdays, too, which in turn got me into a radio show called Rhythm Revue on listener-supported WBGO, 88.3 FM out of Newark. It played lots of great soul classics, many of them I’d never heard anywhere else. One of host Felix Hernandez’s special mixes blended an all-time favorite of mine, “Mighty Love” by the Spinners, with an a capella cover of the very same song from Todd Rundgren.

That Saturday morning, June 29, 2002, Felix cued it up just as we were parking in the lot behind the Baldwin Coach on Sunrise Highway.

Once there was a boy and girl

Boy said “I love you so”

Girl said “I’ll never leave you”

They grew older and left each other

Addled, vulnerable and suggestible, I immediately identified “Mighty Love” as the story of my Stephanie and my Casey — Mighty Casey. I know Casey never meant to leave, but was there a mightier love on the planet than between the two of them? All those nights that he scratched on the door, not so I would fill Bernie’s dish but so he could to attend to the one true object of his affection in his own very feline way…the climbing, the purring, the rubbing up of scent glands, the settling down, the sharing of a pillow. She slept through it. I liked to watch.

We entered the diner, sat down and ordered. The waiter removed the menus. And in full view of the Saturday brunch crowd at the Baldwin Coach Diner, I was reminded anew what the Spinners and Todd Rundgren meant:

A mighty love

Will sometimes make you

Weep and moan

Let’s just say I could have filled my own water glass several times over.

***

When we got home, the three of us — Stephanie, Bernie and me — settled in on the couch. It was game time, the Mets and Yankees on Fox. I still didn’t much care, but there they were.

The Mets had been nothing but disappointing thus far in 2002. They were a .500 club and were lucky to be doing that well. But damn it, fellas, give me something today.

This is what they gave me five years ago next week; you could look it up:

One in the first.

One in the second.

One in the third.

Two in the fourth.

One in the fifth.

One in the sixth.

A catnap in the seventh.

One in the eighth.

Three in the ninth.

The Mets won 11-2. They absolutely embarrassed the Yankees on national television. Roger Cedeño, to this point an abject failure in his second term as a Met, tripled (more like a three-base error on emergency rightfielder Enrique Wilson, but we’ll take it) and stole home. It was the first straight steal of home by a Met in 31 years. The slightly less inept Jay Payton got three hits. Utilityman John Valentin and backup catcher Vance Wilson drove in two apiece. Al Leiter cruised. And Mo hit another one, all the way to the upper deck, only a little below from where a certain capless cat may have been taking it all in. I mean, who knows? At the end of a rainbow, sometimes maybe there is a sign in the sky to follow.

Amid the offensive onslaught, which made me smile more than I had planned on doing that Saturday, I thought that the 2002 Mets weren’t so bad. I don’t mean as a baseball team. This was just one game. But they didn’t let me down when I needed them. “They wouldn’t dare do that to me today,” I told Bernie.

Bernie didn’t disagree.

Next Friday: I didn’t hesitate to fall for the No. 5 song of all-time.

Mighty Casey, His Tongue Out

Casey Profile in Tongue

Batting cleanup in any order: Casey The Cat. Get a load of that tongue! It was like something you’d find on Shaquille O’Neal’s left sneaker. How long was it? It was so long that half the time Casey couldn’t seem to stick it back in his mouth. Or maybe he just liked to have it ready to go in case he detected something on Bernie or Stephanie or me that required his immediate cleaning attention. Whether he loved to or just felt the neurotic need to, Casey licked everybody in sight. Surround yourself with the finest felines animal rescuers have to offer — a kissier cat you’ll never give over your skin or your scalp or your soul to.

Casey’s gone five years gone as of June 28. But I believe that his tongue, like his place in my heart, will go on.

Mets' Magic Number Continues to Dwindle

The New York Mets would like to welcome their exclusive sponsor for the month of June, Kinko's.

Kinko's: For when you need every loss in a pile of losses to look and feel exactly the same as the loss before it. At Kinko's, we can rapidly replicate a single loss over and over and over again so before you know it, you're hauling a ton of losses back to the car.

Copiers hummed to perfection Wednesday night as a superior opponent outplayed the dogass Mets in all facets of baseball. Details available upon request for fussbudgets and masochists.

One other fact also keeps coming out exactly the same, however: We're still in first place. The schedule and the margin being what they are, we will, at the very least (which itself is often beyond our meager reach) end Friday in first place for the 38th consecutive East-leading day.

Fellow members of the Legion of Doom, I ask you for a moment to pause from mulling what is wrong with the Mets and instead devote thought to this:

How lame is our competition?

The Braves have picked up all of TWO games on us since we began sucking irredeemably. We've been 3-13 since winning on June 2. The Braves? They're 6-12. And the Phillies? The Winnin' Utleys who gave us the unkindest shove downhill? They're 6-6 since sweeping us. The brass ring would be theirs if they'd stepped up. But they, like the Braves, have not.

The Marlins have pulled from 9-1/2 out on May 27, when we swept them in Miami, to 4-1/2 back today. They were four under .500 then. They're three under now. Any gains the Marlins have made on the Mets have been purely coincidental. Though I'm admittedly in no position to look down my slumping nose on any team, if I have to start worrying about the Marlins, then it's probably not our year anyway.

T.S. Eliot never lived through this particular June, yet our Mets are still in first place. The lingering effects of April and May are doing a John McClane and dying hard. Unless someone discovers steroid-fueled gambling was at work (and passes a few rules to retroactively make it punishable by forfeit), the sublime spurt that sent us out on a commanding 35-19 start counts in the National League records. That's the only reason we're still in first place…that and the composite April 1-June 20 mediocrity of the Braves, the Phillies, the Marlins and, because they're still in the division, the Nationals.

It doesn't seem like it, but we play under lucky stars. Play atrociously, but play under them nonetheless.

Dead First-Place Team Walking

It was a team of Cuddyers versus a team of cadavers Tuesday night. Who would your money be on?

I suppose there's no shame in losing to one of the pitchers if not the pitcher of our generation, but there is a mighty-Mississippi-wide difference between taking a few collars and tipping a few caps and meekly grounding, flying, popping and lining out 26 times — with one late K mixed in to keep the whole thing on the up and up. The Mets lost for the millionth time in their last million and three games. As has been the case for almost all of these losses, they looked pathetic, impotent and beaten from the start.

We were stymied on offense by the magnificent Johan Santana and overrun on defense by, if I'm reading the boxscore correctly, everybody who wore a Twins uniform, save perhaps for Ron Gardenhire. The four errors didn't help. The dreadful pitching by returned-to-Earth Jorge Sosa didn't help. Actually, nobody helped. Everybody hurt. This loss, much like just about every loss since June 3 when the current chain of pain began, was a total and complete Metropolitan Baseball Club of New York effort.

Go team.

Tuesday it was the Twins who were massively better than the Mets. Over the weekend it was the Yankees. Before them it was the Dodgers and the Tigers and the Phillies and the Diamondbacks. True enough that each of these units is a quality outfit. Many of them, as has been tirelessly documented, were 2006 playoff participants and every one of them owns a winning record in 2007. Oddly enough, so do we. We're still in first freaking place after not quite three of the most rancid weeks I've ever seen a Mets team compile. Gil help us once the Braves, Phillies and Marlins are no longer subject to American League opponents.

Can you believe it's not even three weeks that this has been going on? Three weeks ago at this moment I had drifted off on the couch to the blissful images provided by Jose Reyes bouncing, Armando Benitez balking and Carlos Delgado blasting. That was three weeks ago. May as well have been another lifetime. The next night Barry Zito dropped a Santana on us. Not quite as complete, but we tipped our caps and won the night after. Then in came the Diamondbacks and by the end of that series, the slide was in progress.

Well, that's not telling you anything you don't know. I wish I could pretend to have reliable sources and report the exact cure, but I don't and I can't. In lieu of certainty, any suggestions? I dunno. Turn over a buffet table? Reinstate kangaroo court? Hold extra fielding practice in the midday sun? Punish every miscue with a mandatory slice of that awful Sbarro pizza? Trade for…oh damn it, I don't want to talk about trade rumors in June. I hate trade rumors. Trade rumors are what fans of teams who are thread-hangingly in it or hopelessly out of it cling to for the balance of the summer — who we must trade for…and which Quadruple-A stat monster none of us has seen must come up…and who we must sign in the next class of free agents.

I hate that stuff. I'd rather join a fantasy league than feel compelled to think in those terms midyear. I loved last summer because I barely heard a peep of trade or minor league or December chatter. I'm sure it was there but I didn't listen to it. I tried not to indulge it anyway.

Now? For now I'm answerless. There's the occasional evening's peace when the Mets play like what we thought we could safely assume the Mets would be, but it doesn't last. The Mets haven't won a game directly following a previous win since May 29, since the Reyes-Benitez-Delgado bounce/balk/blast game. Monday night was the first game since June 2 to feature hitting, pitching and defense acting in concert. If it wasn't a can of whoopass, it was close enough, and if we could open anything approaching a can of whoopass on the Minnesota Twins for one night, you'd figure we could at least gather a collective pulse for the challenge of facing Santana the second night. But you'd have figured wrong.

The only saving grace I can find, other than Johan Santana will not be pitching Wednesday night, is we are not the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. This isn't a gratuitious shot at (youthful potential and Oriole chaos notwithstanding) the sport's worst franchise either. I fell into the Devil Rays-Diamondbacks game in Phoenix after our fleeting attempt at professionalism, and the Devil Rays have not grown one inch in their decade on the planet. Arizona fell behind 8-2 in the fifth, but Tampa Bay couldn't hold the large lead. Tony Clark hit a two-run pinch-homer in the ninth off previously unblemished closer Al Reyes to tie matters at eight in the ninth and Chris Young launched a two-run job off Reyes' 44th and final pitch in the tenth to make it Arizona 10 Tampa Bay 8, arrive home safely.

The Diamondbacks did to the fourth-place Devil Rays what we did to the Diamondbacks that first Thursday night at Chase Field when we were the team for whom no deficit was too big, no hurler too daunting, no circumstance too impossible. I was actually getting nostalgic for the 2007 Mets of April and May. I can't imagine our current crop of June bugs being any more than mere pests to a team of middling or better caliber. It's the same guys, mostly, but their hearts or their guts or their souls or their ability to play decent baseball for as many as two consecutive nights…let's just say that at this moment we're a first-place version of the Devil Rays. But just barely.

We're actually only seven games better than they are. And I wasn't planning on using them as our yardstick this season.

I See Great Things in Baseball

Granted, it hadn't done much to repair or losses or been much of a blessing to us recently. But last night was a night to remember the simple sweetness of what baseball's like when your team isn't trying to remove your heart from your body with a rusty box cutter while you bite through your own hand. I mean, sit on the couch, admire a good pitching performance, take in a little drama and then be able to relax? I could grow to like this sport.

Given our recent awfulness and the late rally that turned this one into a laugher, the Twins were kind of beside the point. Not that I know them anyway — I kept peering at the screen and wondering if that was Mauer or Morneau. Minnesota Twins … hmmm. It's the place where Jerry Koosman, Wally Backman and Rick Reed got exiled. The hats say TC, which baffled me as a child. There's a weird stadium and a baggie. Kirby Puckett played there. They beat the Braves in the best World Series I've ever seen. They never beat the Yankees in the playoffs. Bud Selig tried to contract them. Everybody forgets they're an original American League franchise. They're run cheaply and make up for it with smart GM-ing. And that's a wrap. (I know that sounds a lot like my mental checklist when we played the Tigers. What can I say? I'm not going to take AL Central for $100, Alex.)

I'm giving the Twins short shrift not to be insulting, but because tonight was so much more about us, about looking for positives and finding some and then finding a whole lot more and then finally exhaling because there were enough positives that you could select them randomly instead of counting them up. John Maine, last seen handing out souvenir dingers to the entire Dodgers lineup? He was terrific. Carlos Delgado? Hit a home run and came within a Jason Kubel half-tumble of driving in two more. Carlos Beltran? Had good at-bats and actually got rewarded for them with a rifle double up the gap. David Wright? Three hits, nearly hit a home run, continued his sharp play at third. Jose Reyes? Scampered about gleefully. Heck, even Ricky Ledee went deep.

It was a game from the template of April or May. It was baseball like it oughta be. And it was wonderful.

Update: If you followed the link from Deadspin, welcome. To be clear, we doubt there's any truth to the blog post whispering about some kind of racial divide in the Mets clubhouse. Or to Julio Franco stirring it up. By the way, our sources tell us Roger Clemens subsists entirely on a diet of live kittens. Pass it on!

Our T-Shirt Goes the Distance

davefieldsign2

If you wear it, they will come…or something like that. Our own Mets Guy in Michigan Iowa, Dave Murray, bears the numbers of four New York National League legends as he looks for a pickup game against Joe Jackson and the rest of the 1919 Black Sox on a recent visit to Dyersville, site of the field from Field of Dreams.

Is this Heaven? No, but we assume it was named for Duffy Dyer, so it’s close enough.

ESPN Scoreboard: Globetrotters 8, Generals 2

Like all good-hearted people, I hate the Yankees.

When you break down that statement a bit, though, things get more complicated. The only members of the current roster whom I actually loathe are Satan and Miguel Cairo, and Miguel Cairo isn't worth more than passing bile. What I really hate is the franchise as a collective entity. And most of what I hate about it is the front-running, gimme-gimme fans with their sense of entitlement and their love of rooting for the overdog.

But only most of it. I also hate their cheap propagandists, Michael Kay and John Sterling and Paul O'Neill and Suzyn Waldman. A list to which we may as well add Joe Morgan and Jon Miller. Who, really, deserve our derision even more than the pitiable Lord Haw-Haws of YES and WCBS. Because Morgan and Miller are supposed to be neutral observers. They're supposed to be pros.

Watching tonight's game, you'd never guess who was in first place and who'd only just closed within double digits. You'd have no idea which team played an all-or-nothing game to go to the World Series and which was sent packing in the first round of the playoffs. If it wasn't Jeter's radiance it was Clemens' heroic journey back to the bank or Ron Guidry's ancient glory days. Those guys in the other dugout? Um, there was Jose Reyes, discussed mostly as Jeter's foil. And a couple of mentions of David Wright. El Duque got a retrospective of sorts — of his days as a Yankee.

Seriously, let's review some of the things I saw before I got so disgusted that I retreated to Howie and Tom:

* An “acrobatic play” by Derek Jeter that sure looked like a routine assist on a groundout to me.

* Did you know Jeter has cute little nicknames for his teammates? Like he calls Robinson Cano Canoe? That's why they call him Captain Intangibles. Championship stuff there.

* Later, Morgan went out of his way to praise Jeter for a tag play. The way he put his glove in front of the baserunner's hand was gritty and gutty and showed all the kids out there the way the game's supposed to be played, I guess. Only it was Canoe who did that. I mean Cano.

* A lame softball interview with Satan by Peter Gammons, who's so much better than this. Miller almost got in a mild dig at Clemens, noting that he was in fact with the team despite not pitching tonight, but then the Yankee chip in his head started beeping and he made Clemens' attendance sound like a tour of duty in the Peace Corps. And how did Clemens do against the Mets Friday night? Apparently he was beaten by Jose Reyes. No mention of who'd opposed him and thrown a shutout. None whatsoever.

* A while later, Morgan did recall (in chatting with Willie Randolph, who looked like he'd just been force-fed an entire lemon tree) that there'd been a Met pitcher in that game who'd done OK in the shadow of the Great God Clemens. And so he asked Willie about Odalis Perez. (I know they talked about Oliver a couple of innings later. Too little too late. And then Morgan came up with some tortured musing about the Yankees would have won if they hadn't had baserunners on at unlucky times. Or something. I got dizzy trying to follow it.)

Look, 8-2 is a beating. Chien-Ming Wang was masterful. A-Rod hit a ball to Montauk. Our various problems — crappy hitting, bad relief, dopey plays, whatever the hell's wrong with Beltran — weren't exactly erased by one good game by Odalis Oliver. But the bowing and scraping in the direction of Monument Park started long before the game cratered.

I've given up on respect in the tabloids and on talk radio — the circus is always going to be run by hucksters and suck in its share of rubes. But is it too much to ask that the self-appointed world-wide leader in sports do a little better than three hours of mash notes to one side of the room? The only saving grace of last night's loss was if you watched it on ESPN, you barely knew the Mets were there in the first place.

Dave Mlicki Plus Fifty-Nine

The New York Mets play the New York Yankees for the sixtieth time in regular-season competition tonight. That is if the weather cooperates. Three times the weather hasn't cooperated: June 11, 2000; June 21, 2003; and June 25, 2004.

I remember those rainouts. I remember almost everything about every Subway Series. A few details about a few losses have probably fallen between the cracks — there have been 34 losses spread over 11 seasons, so it is probably best to let a few slip away — but mostly it's all fresh in the mind's eye, no part more fresh than the segment that came first.

Imagine something for the better part of 35 seasons and once it finally happens it's pretty thrilling. That was what every New York baseball fan likely did at least once between 1962 and 1996. Mets versus Yankees? It may not have been a universal concern, but there were enough Grapefruit League and Mayor's Trophy games to make one wonder what if they actually played each other for real? And so, by aegis of the commissioner's office, it happened.

You may have forgotten a lot about 1997, but you haven't forgotten June 16. Even if you don't remember the date, you remember Mlicki. We all remember Mlicki. We're all still lining up, if we're any kind of decent people, to buy Dave Mlicki a drink or a car or some token of affection for putting the Mets up 1-0 in all-time competition versus the Yankees ten years ago yesterday. Dave Mlicki was one of the most frustrating right arms the Mets ever had. He should have won 15 games every year. He never won more than nine. The year he shut out the Yankees 6-0 — we beat the Yankees! — his record was 8-12. While he was on the job, Dave Mlicki could be irritating in his determination to not get the third out, not throw the third strike when he needed it.

Do you remember that? No, you remember 6-0 on June 16, 1997. You remember barely controlling your excitement and/or your angst if in fact you bothered to try. From the first pitch of that first game, Andy Pettitte to Lance Johnson, I needed weighted boots to keep my feet on the ground. Strip aside playoff games from '88 and key pennant race games from the years surrounding those and this was the biggest game since Game Seven against the Red Sox. In the Self-Esteem Division of the Emotional Well-Being League, it was the biggest game ever.

We led from the first inning on. We never trailed. We won. What if the Mets played the Yankees in a game that counted? The Mets would win 6-0. We had our answer.

So why did the question have to be repeated 58 going on 59 more times?

If we had stopped with Mlicki and 6-0, that would have satisfied everybody. We would have had our win for all time and they…well, what do I care about them? Part of the social contract of following one team in a two-team market is the implicit understanding that you don't have to bother with the other team. Prior to June 16, 1997, I didn't have to think about the New York Yankees very often if I didn't want to. I didn't want to. If I did, they were right there for the following when I started with baseball. I went with the Mets and that was that. The Yankees had their downs and ups and their cycles (some lasting distressingly longer than others) but they existed in somebody else's vacuum for my purposes.

That changed as of June 16, 1997. They weren't just a psychic enemy by dint of obnoxious co-workers and classmates, they were opponents. They were on the schedule. You could ignore the Yankees to the best of your ability — preblog media making that a tough enough task — but now you had to stare them in the face three, then six times a year every year whether you wanted to or not.

It's easy to bash Interleague. It's easy to point to any game that involves the Devil Rays or Royals taking on a National League team, or the Pirates or Rockies going against an American League team and snottily dismiss it with “well, there's a rivalry everybody wants to see.” To which I say, what do you want from these clubs? They're part of a larger structure, they have to play somebody. I imagine there was a moment in baseball history when the Pirates playing the White Sox would have caused quite a stir, maybe around 1960 or 1972. I tuned in briefly to their game last night and saw loads of empty seats at PNC Park, no different than it would be if the Pirates played just about anybody these days.

So Interleague isn't a panacea through no fault of its 30 participants, some of whom undeniably suck regardless of matchup. But it does rock New York and a few other intracity locales as has been well documented by the Attendance line at the bottom of boxscores since 1997. People show up. Hardly anybody claims to like it anymore, but I'm waiting for the first Subway Series game in which you can walk up to the ticket window an hour before first pitch and purchase four on the aisle in either Queens or the Bronx. I made it my business to go the first one at Shea in 1998 for the sake of history. I relished the chance to go the next couple of years because, duh, it was the Mets playing the Yankees. Since 2001, I simply hate the idea that a Yankees fan's ass might be taking up my rightful space.

Hmmm…I wonder how much more they could charge for admission if they marketed it as “Don't Let Those Bastards Sit In Your Seats.”

It's not like we don't get our money's worth out of the Subway Series. Pound for pound, Mets-Yankees games have to be the most breathtaking of any games in the Majors in just about any year. Tell me each side doesn't play its heart out even after they spew quote after quote about how it's either just another game or, worse, a pain in their excessively compensated ass. Think how many games you can instantly identify by name since 1997. The Mlicki Game. The Matt Franco Game. The Shawn Estes Game. The Mister Koo Game. Think how many obscurities spring to life through the prism of the Subway Series and how instantly incandescent they become. Shane Spencer…Ty Wigginton…Richard Hidalgo…and that was just one weekend in 2004.

Come to think of it, save for Piazza being Piazza on multiple occasions and Wright and Floyd using Yankee Stadium's upper deck for target practice on June 25, 2005, does it strike you odd that so many of our triumphs against baseball's best-funded corporate entity have been won on the wings and prayers of relative obscurities? Even obscure for the Mets? Would you be able to differentiate Dave Mlicki from Robert Person or Mark Clark if not for the Subway Series? Would Steve Bieser's Q rating be anywhere near as high as it is if not for the balk he teased out of David Cone on June 18, 1997, two days after Mlicki had his passport to Amazin' immortality stamped? Would Tsuyoshi Shinjo's orange wristbands burn as brightly in memory if he hadn't given over a quad to beat out a play at first, thus setting up Mr. Mike's midnight roughshod ride over Carlos Almanzar on June 17, 2001?

Perhaps it's a function of not having that many stars, at least not until fairly recently. Who does the damage for the Yankees? Not Carlos Almanzar or Enrique Wilson or Tanyon Sturtze, cherished goats from our perspective. It's Jeter and A-Rod and Jeter and Posada and Jeter and Giambi and Jeter and, earlier, Williams and Jeter and Martinez and Jeter and O'Neill and Jeter.

It's always fucking Jeter, isn't it? He kicks our brains in and then he's selling us a Ford Explorer. Can somebody please screen these ads ahead of time?

We play the Yankees just about as much as we play any N.L. Central or Western opponent. Mets-Astros games may have their own particular flavor but there's no denying a unique culture has sprung up between the Mets and Yankees. There are five essential types that can describe just about every Subway Series game.

• The joyous bizarrofest won by the Mets, definitely the class of the genre of which The Matt Franco Game of July 10, 1999 is the archetype and patron saint.

• The inane choke lost by the Mets, such as the end of the world brought to us by Billy Wagner on May 20, 2006 but honed to imperfection by Armando Benitez on June 14, 2002 and Braden Looper on June 26, 2005.

• The scintillating pitching & defense duel won by the Mets, last spotted Friday night, previously spun May 18, 2007 via Oliver Perez and Endy Chavez.

• The slopfest lost by the Mets — you know, like Saturday.

• The dull Yankee win, representing probably a bulging plurality of the 34 Met losses since June 17, 1997, particularly on Sunday nights.

Ah yes, ESPN games are a notable subgenre of the Subway Series. They used to present the occasional uplifting breakthrough (Luis Lopez sac-flying home Carlos Baerga while Brian McRae dawdled around first on June 28, 1998, thus saving us from completely losing Shea face; Al Leiter stopping the coach-firing, losing streak madness of June 6, 1999 and sparking up a 40-15 run for glory), but ever since the first Subway Series rainout — Ventura flopping around on the tarp with a fake Mike mustache which was funny until it wrought that horrendous shame-of-the-franchise day-night doubleheader of July 8, 2000 — Sunday nights have increasingly morphed into episodes of embarrassment. We actually won the first four ESPN games we played against the Yankees. Yet after Sunday night June 16, 2002 — Mo Vaughn hammering David Wells at Shea — we are 1-7 in the Simpsons/Sopranos slot, up through and including the unawaited debut of Tyler Clippard on May 20, 2007. Lifetime with Joe Moron and Jon Imbecile bungling the action, we're 6-8. You can keep prime time.

Let's say you have a game like Saturday afternoon's. I'd rather not, but we did. Even as it dragged on until Carlos Beltran courteously ended it with one swing, we were guaranteed the agony of 24+ hours without a chance for revenge. That's the worst part of the Subway Series, save for the 34 losses. The waiting is indeed the hardest part. I don't do or think anything special for games against the Phillies or the Nationals or even the Braves unless circumstances dictate otherwise. For 15 regular National League and 13 intermittent American League opponents, it's generally enough to pay a little attention beforehand and turn on the TV once the clock strikes 7.

Not with these games against the Yankees. I try everything including trying nothing. When the Subway Series was still novel, even when it was getting old, I allowed myself to get sucked up into the hype Subway Series Fridays brought. I bought all the papers, I stayed glued to the FAN, I watched the idiots-screaming-into-the-camera features on the news. This past Friday, I decided to go unspoiled. I read nothing. I heard nothing. I watched nothing. I didn't even wear a Mets t-shirt. Because my strategic disengagement worked (that and Ollie), I tried it again Saturday. The results were mixed, then abysmal. Once it was 10-5, I pulled out a trick I use only in dire circumstances. I dropped all television and radio contact, which is different from simply turning off your sets right there. We needed to pick up a few things at Stop & Shop, so pick up we did. Pick up and leave Channel 11. No earbuds, bud. No concern for what was going on in the late innings. None evinced, anyway.

We arrived home for the top of the ninth, groceries in, garbage waiting to be taken out. I'll just sit and watch this disaster, now 11-6, go final and then hit the dumpster, figuring I'll see the Mets there in about two minutes. Then Delgado gets a hit. And Lo Duca. An out but then Castro gets a hit. Gotay doesn't, but Gomez battles Rivera so hard that it must elicit a reflexive smile from Art Howe in Cincinnati with the Rangers. It's 11-7. Stephanie hands me a rainbow roll from the Stop & Shop seafood department. I chew on it as if it's the most important thing in the room. I can't invest outward interest in what's on the TV. I walked away from this game and now this game has come crawling back to me. If I embrace it, it will only turn on me in anger.

Reyes's turn to not give up the ship. And he doesn't. It's 11 to 8. I'm out of rainbow roll. I just sit and stare and Beltran. If I make too much out of the bases being loaded and our technically best player coming up, there will be nothing to come of it.

I act like this at Shea once in a while. And I certainly twist my thoughts into pretzels dozens of times a night so as to bring good luck or not bring bad luck to the Mets. But this kind of thinking, this kind of anxiety, this brand of intense, insane, insipid ohmigodibetternotscrewthisupforus contortionism doesn't happen when the Mets play 15 regular National League and 13 intermittent American League opponents.

I don't know if I should credit or blame the Subway Series for this strain of behavior. Anything that makes you feel baseball this much is probably a worthwhile if utterly unhealthy endeavor. I love beating the Yankees. I hate losing to the Yankees. Fifty-nine times since June 16, 1997, I've experienced the sweet and the bitter ends of this particular rainbow roll repeatedly. Both are tastes you never quite get out of your mouth.

But on the eve of my sixtieth bite, I wouldn't put up much of a fuss if they decided not to serve us any more after this. Really, I was sated after the first helping ten years ago yesterday.

'Los Cause

Scratching out two singles makes him just a bit less Wilson Delgado and a bit more Carlos Delgado for the day (though that fifth-inning cutoff clank which allowed Cano an extra base and eventually an extra run was worthy of Marvelous Marv Delgadoberry). Alas, if one can take a slight breather from mulling What's Wrong With Carlos Delgado?, one must now join in progress the vigil as regards What's Wrong With Carlos Beltran?

On an endless afternoon when everybody hit somebody sometime, Beltran didn't hit at all, didn't get on base, didn't show any signs that he is Carlos Beltran, millionaire, who owns a mansion and a yacht. 0 for 6. Oh for six. Six times up, no times on. There isn't a way to term it or type it that makes it any less unappetizing.

What's wrong here? The knee? Getting his timing after taking time to heal the knee? Retraining his eye? Not that the game wasn't lost many times in many ways by many Mets between innings one and eight, but how on earth could a man who is so incredibly skilled at taking pitches (ahem) swing at the very first one thrown toward him by Mariano Rivera after the Greatest Blah Blah Blah Ever is obviously waaaaay the fuck off his stride? Rivera threw 32 pitches to 7 batters and allowed 5 hits in the ninth. He throws 1 pitch to Beltran and Beltran swings at it and Rivera slithers away essentially unmolested.

I can't imagine how one differentiates, from the batter's box, in nanoseconds, between a good pitch to swing at and a good pitch to take. But after a closer in a non-save situation — which always screws them up — has struggled to get three simple outs against one very simple team and has afforded said team a gaping if undeserved shot at redemption, I can differentiate between a good opportunity to take and a good opportunity to swing and pop up and call it a night.

Delgado wallowing in a slump I can live with somehow. I've seen it before and we persevered together, he and us. But Beltran, lordy, he's just too important to this team. When he sucks, we suck. I've given the matter a great deal of study and have reached the considered conclusion that he just can't be doing that.

Ollie the Untouchable

They pull a knife, you pull a gun.

He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.

They start Clemens, you start Perez.

That's the Met way.

In five games this season against the despised Braves and the detested Yankees — the intersection of haunting nightmares and the uncontrollable shakes — Ollie's ERA is 1.26. He's 5-0 against our most bitter rivals. If you need someone to take out a ghost or two, Ollie is obviously your man. Throw in his respectable work from seventh games of championship series and it appears this fellow might very well be a keeper.

Oliver Perez is clearly the most interesting starter on the active roster. It's no longer a question of not knowing what you're going to get. You know you're likely to get quality. You're just not sure how you're going to get it. Friday night I found it fascinating that both Billy Wagner and Jorge Posada, who presumably did not compare talking points, both called him effectively wild. That's a lot different from “oh dear, he's gone three and oh again.”

Of course he had help. It's about time somebody on the Mets helped somebody else on the Mets, each of them riding around the last road trip aimlessly, 25 Mets in 25 directionless cabs. Carlos Gomez certainly threaded the needle in left, the needle being morons with outstretched hands. There was a little pinch of Endy on display, though certainly not as polished. He does have that “Skates” quality in his stride; two or three times I was sure he pulled something he needed for running.

Back in the era of good feeling, I was ready to stamp Carlos the Third's ticket back to N'Awlins, having watched his average spiral and his savvy fail to sprout. Seasoning is why we relocated our triple-A operations to the home of Cajun cooking, right? But the Mets are in no position to send back a player, no matter how undercooked, who can create a run and save a couple more. And this unexpected accumulation of Major League service time might not be so bad. His career trajectory to date is a bit reminiscent of his big brother Jose Reyes. Jose was up too soon, it was said, and could have used a little more good Tideing. But between injuries and pervasive team lousiness in 2003, Reyes was never shuttled off to Virginia and, growing pains notwithstanding, I think it was to his benefit. We could see it with Gomez. Let the trial be by fire. But somebody make sure the kid stays on his feet.

Had to love the bunting on Clemens and his fatigued groin (boo frigging hoo). It's just smart baseball. You've got the tools, use them. Ron Darling noted fielding bunts is one of those disciplines drilled into you during Spring Training and hey, guess what, Clemens didn't bother with Spring Training. But he and his agent did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last month.

Six-and-a-third innings of two-run ball, as representative an outing as it was for (grumble, grumble) a Hall of Fame pitcher, rates a million bucks? Now that's smart baseball! Why bother with the fundamentals when all you have to do is show up in June, stick around the premises only as long as you feel necessary and not be expected to complete seven?

Apropos of nothing except my enjoyment of The Ballclub's recurring and regularly compelling Lost Classics feature, I found myself recalling the last two times the Mets faced the, oy, Rocket. He was an Astro and he was good.

May 16, 2004: 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 1 BB, 10 SO

April 13, 2005: 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 1 BB, 9 SO

Clemens as an Astro didn't pack quite the putrid punch as did and does Clemens the Yankee only because Strychnine presumably doesn't taste as bad as Drano. Don't get me wrong. I was steadfast in my desire to watch the mound open up and swallow him and his rapidly fatiguing groin with one enormous suck during his Houston hiatus, but I was willing, in the abstract, to grudgingly admire his pitching output if not the outputter himself. Mike Piazza's two-out, ninth-inning, game-tying home run off Octavio Dotel to cost Clemens a victory at Minute Maid in '04 (Jason Phillips getting his wallop on to win it in the 13th) and Kaz Ishii — remember him? — matching Clemens pitch for pitch the following April at Shea (Reyes singling home Victor Diaz in the eleventh for walkoff closure) positions each of these as Lost Classics candidates, but what seals their respective nominations is the fact that Roger Clemens started, Roger Clemens excelled and Roger Clemens was no-decisioned as the result of Met lightning striking.

I'd give Clemens plenty of credit for striking out eight Mets during his lucrative if abbreviated Friday night stay, but those of us who remained awake through the Los Angeles lossquake know that isn't terribly impressive (4 through 8 in the order: 0 for 19 with a walk), especially since three of those K's were Delgado, Delgado and Delgado, with more Delgado striking out a fourth time after Clemens left. CD really is in Montañez territory right now. Here's what I mean:

Wille Montañez 1978

First Met Year

Age: 30

Games: 159

HR: 17

RBI: 96

BA: .256

OPS: .712

Willie Montañez 1979

Second Met Year

Age: 31

Games: 109 (traded in August)

HR: 5

RBI: 47

BA: .234

OPS: .594

Or try this:

Bernard Gilkey 1996

First Met Year

Age: 29

Games: 153

HR: 30

RBI: 117

BA: .317

OPS: .955

Bernard Gilkey 1997

Second Met Year

Age: 30

Games: 145

HR: 18

RBI: 78

BA: .249

OPS: .755

As for the present:

Carlos Delgado 2006

First Met Year

Age: 33/34

Games: 144

HR: 38

RBI: 114

BA: .265

OPS: .909

Carlos Delgado 2007

Second Met Year

Age: 34/35

Games: 62

HR: 10

RBI: 39

BA: .221

OPS: .687

Delgado owns a deeper portfolio of accomplishment than Montañez or Gilkey, but he's also older as he teeters. His predecessors in disturbing falloff surprised the Mets with their acquisition-season productivity; Gilkey tied the team ribby record (in his walk year — also very smart) and Montañez's 96 runs batted in were actually third-most in Mets history at the time…and driving in nearly one hundred 1978 Mets was a feat of mind-boggling proportions considering how doubtful it is that one hundred Mets actually reached base in 1978.

We know Carlos was extremely streaky in 2006. His April, however, set the tone for the new, improved lineup and when he faded for extended intervals, it barely mattered as everybody else was scorching. It felt like Delgado got back half his power numbers in about three weeks in August (a month when he swatted eight homers and drove in 26 runs), thereby piecing together one of the better slugging seasons we've ever seen in these parts. That batting average was eerily low, but he was getting on base and driving the ball enough to write off that .265. Now .265 is sadly aspirational.

Don't mean to take the edge off a sweet victory, considering the circumstances, the opponent and the opposing and losing pitcher, but I'll feel a lot better when Delgado is cleaning up something besides the dregs of what was a fabulous career.