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Jason Fry and Greg Prince
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

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All Apologies

The New York Mets would like to apologize to the Los Angeles Dodgers for taking a series-opening win from them Monday night. It was just, they swear, their way of soothing the hurt feelings of San Francisco Giants reliever Steve Kline who was critical of Lastings Milledge's momentary lapse of accepted decorum and gauche display of a pulse Sunday afternoon.

Lastings Milledge would like to keep on apologizing to all who are miffed by his youth, exuberance and talent. He feels terrible about that run he drove in against Brett Tomko in the sixth. If Tomko was offended that Milledge all but knocked him out of the game, then Milledge apologizes for that, too.

Mets fans who sat down the right field line Sunday have signed a letter of apology to Milledge for sticking their hands out, palms front, for him to slap in the wake of his dramatic tenth-inning, game-tying, career-first home run. They now see they placed a terrible temptation in the young man's path and are filled with remorse that they may have led him astray.

Jose Reyes would like to apologize to the Dodger Stadium scoreboard operator for showing him up by leading off Monday night's game with a home run. It's very showy to put up a 1 right away and Jose feels terrible about it.

Carlos Delgado would like to apologize to his slump for the two-run homer that followed. The slump was shown up something awful by Carlos' swing, and Delgado is a professional and never would have done that had he realized it could be taken the wrong way.

Jose Valentin would like to apologize to Kaz Matsui for hitting and fielding well. Valentin now knows succeeding at second base is really just another way to show up Matsui, who was calmly and professionally batting .205 before giving way to his reluctant successor.

Alay Soler, through an interpreter, says he is deeply sorry that he shut down the Dodgers for seven innings and earned his first big league win. He reserves his most sincere apologies for the Philadelphia Phillies and Arizona Diamondbacks, the two teams that might feel shown up because he didn't pitch nearly as well against them and now they are left wondering if they were offered a true test of his abilities.

Chad Bradford sincerely hopes Billy Wagner didn't take his saving the opener against the Dodgers the wrong way. Chad understands now that it is wrong that anybody besides the designated closer secures a victory. He'll see to it that it doesn't happen again, though he can't promise anything. And for that, Bradford apologizes some more.

Pedro Martinez would like to apologize in advance to his teammates for the guilt and shame with which they will be racked when they won't score for him Tuesday night. He is ashamed already.

Willie Randolph sends regrets to the New York Yankee clubhouse staff for forgetting to return their very long and pointed stick upon leaving their organization to become manager of the New York Mets. It had just been up his ass for so long, he explains, that he forgot it was there.

8 comments to All Apologies

  • Anonymous

    Greg would like to apologize to Alay Soler for short-changing him one full inning of his solid performance, 1 run allowed in 7 just sounds so much better, especially when every out lowers the ERA in the ones place and the tens place.
    Seriously, though, on the topic at hand, why can't people (in our organization and out) look at a situation thoughtfully instead of gut-reacting? Standing in the batter's box watching the ball sail out? No. Shouting at Armando like he's in Upper Reserved Row V? Negative. Curtain call? Impressively, no. Sharing your exuberance brought on by hitting your first home run while showing appreciation for a constituency that's shown nothing but adorations and ovations while in the process directly offending nobody in the process except the fans down the left-field line who wished #44 manned their side? Yes. Take a stand, Willie. Why does the voice of reason on this issue have to eminate from the flagship airwaves at 1 PM the next day? (For the record, an opportunity to bash the Mets, and they took the opposite view.) People of Green Bay, for your sake I hope you never get an ex-Yankee as head coach. The Lambeau Leaps would have to end, lest you offend the opposition.

  • Anonymous

    I hope last night was the first stage of our apologizing to the schedule makers for thwarting their attempt to leave us in tears. It's pretty tough sledding — a nasty stretch of road games and tough teams — until the beginning of July.

  • Anonymous

    I actually caught my faux pas before seeing your addendum but apologize for falling asleep between the sixth and seventh and automatically assuming that a starter who isn't Martinez or Glavine would be pulled after six. I apologize to U and ME for making an ASS out of both of us by presuming to ASSUME.

  • Anonymous

    I apologize on behalf of Jason for showing up whoever we play in July by intimating things are gonna get easier.

  • Anonymous

    The Lambeau Leap is silly.
    “Act like you been there before.” — Joe Paterno

  • Anonymous

    Agree about The Leap. Unless I were a Packers fan, then I'd think it was the coolest thing going.
    Milledge: Hadn't been there before. Now he has.

  • Anonymous

    I knew all that time in the Bronx would have some residual ill-effects on Willie. You know what they say, “the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume.”
    Also, Jose Valentin would probably like to apologize most profusely for hustling everyone his entire career purely to win the secondbase job on the 2006 Mets.
    I think it's time for Lastings to make another “Rookie Mistake”–he's gonna hit with Pedro on the mound. Hopefully nobody's given him that bit of veteran wisdom against it yet.

  • Anonymous

    FUCK!!!!!!! Not the right post, but FUCK!!! Ohhhh Pedro…and WTF Heath Bell? Why Willie? Why are we trusting a game that's still close to that stiff, letting endless inherited Pedro runs score? And Jose Valentin……FUCK.