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ABOUT US

Greg Prince and Jason Fry
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

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Familiarity Breeds Contempt

I know the intonations in Gary Cohen's voice better than I know my own father's. Then again, despite my affection for the man whose DNA I share, I don't hang on Dad's every word for three hours at a clip most every night for six months.

Given that it was Father's Day in the United States on Sunday, our family got together for one of its infrequent lovefests. Us, Dad and his longtime ladyfriend and my sister and her husband met at an Italian joint of universal convenience. Time: 6 PM. Inning: The sixth, as it turned out. The top of it. The Mets' rally was in progress as we parked, an event unknowable no more than 20, 25 minutes earlier when we left home.

In our party of six, I was the biggest Mets fan. Stephanie was the second-biggest Mets fan. There was no third-place finisher. This is what makes my family an enigma wrapped in obliviousness where I'm concerned. Nobody else likes baseball. I do. It doesn't matter 158, 159 times a year, but here it did. There was a decision to be made.

Do I bring my tiny radio to dinner?

Usually, the answer is simple. Yes. Of course. What are you, insane? There's a game in progress. It would be rude for me not to listen.

But this is my family. There's one member, I won't say who, who makes a face when I pull out my earbuds to catch a score. It can be for the briefest moment, but I wind up on the receiving end of what in Yiddish is called the punim. It refers to a certain kind of face that one makes to reflect a certain kind of mood. I will leave it to your deductive powers to ascertain what kind of mood is involved and the effect the face has on one's ability to endure an evening of it.

Being caught up in the Mets, even a lousy Mets team in an increasingly lousy Mets season (also known as being caught up in the Mets), I don't generally care. Well, I do but I don't, not really. Make all the punim you want, I've got a game to follow. Except last year's Father's Day was an utter and total disaster. It had nothing to do with the Mets who had polished off a sweep of Detroit well in advance of the family affair, but the horror show still lurked in my mind. I spent much of Sunday afternoon cursing out Tom Glavine, but when I wasn't doing that, I was imagining what would go wrong this year for Father's Day and what it would take to set things off.

So I made a decision: Leave the tiny radio home. Live without knowing for an hour-and-a-half what's happening. Get through this family obligation in one piece and then turn on the car radio and get the score. The way the Mets have been playing, I should've viewed it as a reprieve.

Except that at the exact moment we were parking, Woodward was getting hit with the bases loaded and Wright was scoring on a wild pitch and suddenly it went from 6-1 to 6-3 with two on and one out and Victor Diaz (so damn due) up. Earlier, when Heilman had come on to relieve The Manchurian Brave, I was thinking one of my rare positive thoughts, that this would be the Foxwoods Resort & Casino Turning Point of the Game because Aaron would shut the door on the Mariners and the Mets would begin to chip away.

I didn't exactly buy it, but now it showed signs of happening. Aaron was untouchable. The offense was simmering, if you could call an HBP and a WP a simmering offense. I left the tiny radio home and now had to get out of the car. I would be completely uninformed, unless…the restaurant! Restaurants have bars and bars have TVs and TVs over bars show important sporting events on weekends.

Ya mean like the U.S. Open? Nobody seemed to be watching the golf and I was tempted to ask for a quick channel change during a commercial or something but I decided that such a request would violate the spirit of the punim. No Mets information readily available, I gave myself over to small talk. As was, our sextet had to wait a good fifteen minutes for a table. There was time to pull an “oh, I left something in the car” to find out if Diaz had indeed blasted the triple I anticipated on his behalf and then how he scored the tying run on a daring steal of home.

But I didn't. In fact, I put it out of my mind as best as I could. Given the Mets-Mariners dynamic of Friday and Saturday, that wasn't as difficult as I'd forecast.

We got our table. Everybody was cordial to everybody else. Several subjects were discussed. Baseball was barely one of them. (My god, am I related to these people? I was born in Brooklyn. Maybe I was switched with the Hodges baby.) Food came. Food went. Tolerable time was had by all. Hugs and kisses and, essentially, see you in December. For this family at this stage of its development, that's about as heartwarming as it gets.

All right then, it's a couple of minutes before 7:40. There's likely a 20:20 update on the way. Just give me the score. Tell me what happened and I'll be satisfied, win or lose.

But the string of commercials I heard when I turned on the radio didn't sound FANnish. It sounded Metsish. Hey, Mets Extra must still be on. And it was! Gary came on to introduce the highlights. Hey, maybe he's only getting to them now because the Mets blew by the Mariners and the bottom of the ninth had to be played (Looper saving Heilman's win). Yeah, that's probably it.

But in Cohen's voice, I could tell it wasn't good. Damn familiarity. He recapped the parts I knew about right up to the sixth when the Mets scored their third run.

Diaz didn't do squat, but Reyes, Gary said, somehow managed to get on base and make it 6-4. Oh?

Then he told me that Beltran had his best at-bat in ages and poked a single through the infield and made it 6-5. Oh?

Now, he told me, Floyd was coming up. Maybe I don't know Gary's voice that well after all. Maybe he's going to surprise me and tell me that Cliff brought home the tying run. The go-ahead runs, too, with his second homer of the day.

But Floyd popped out to end the inning.

At least Heilman had kept us in the game and must've continued to do so, right? Except, according to Gary, DeJean came on to pitch the bottom of the sixth.

WHAT? DeJean? Mike DeTorch? What on earth? I know Aaron hasn't stretched it out in recent weeks, but this is A.L. rules, Willie. What on earth are you thinking? I mean what on earth were you thinking? This game, mind you, had already taken place.

Gary's tone betrayed nothing, but he was giving a few too many details about the Mariners' sixth. Hmmm, why is he going on with such exposition about a three-and-two count to Adrian Beltre with two out and the bases loaded? Is it to heighten the tension regarding DeJean's heroic performance in this tightrope of a spot? Did our beleaguered, roleless middle reliever do a job and strike this guy out?

No, of course not. I knew that. I knew Gary's even bringing it up meant Beltre did something good for Beltre — like stand still and get walked. By DeJean. Now I was all “NO!” and “C'MON!” and “NO!” some more. I continued to absorb the recap as if it were actual in-progress action. Worse yet, I couldn't change the outcome no matter how hard I retrorooted. Not that I can change the outcome in real time either.

Mariners 11 Mets 5. Before Gary Cohen had said three words, I knew the score if not the totals.

In The Year 2009

Tell me about our new park. Please tell me something. Please tell me anything.

10. Mets' dugout certain to be roomier without unnecessary bat rack taking up space.

9. Home Run Apple replaced by the Single Raisin.

8. During games, DiamondVision will air complete DVD collection of The Sopranos, including bonus features, to satisfy fans' otherwise unfulfilled desire for lots of hitting.

7. With New York getting the 2012 Olympics, Torpid Baseball announced as an Olympic event. Early favorite for the gold plays right next door.

6. Philip Humber, cracking the low 80s since surgery, makes long-awaited Mets debut. Goes two and a third.

5. Contests much shorter with home team eliminating the formality of starting the bottom of each inning with fewer than two outs.

4. Julio Franco retirement rumors, though eventually proven false, spur fleeting visions of unseating Braves.

3. Drinking fountains dispense contents of unclaimed Uncle Jack's Steak Sauce prize packages.

2. Beltran terms quad “91, 92 percent. Could be 93 percent by August. I'll just keep playing on it and eventually it'll come around. I'm sure of it.”

1. To “suck” will be slang for doing really well the way “bad” means good in certain contexts. Thus, the Mets will no longer suck all that much.

Numb, Helpless, Etc.

I give up. No, not forever, but until this team gets its head out of its collective butt. Which will be … well, if you know, please tell me.

When your team can't hit, on one level it's hard to evaluate anything they're doing — in a way they aren't your team at all, but a bunch of impostors as startling and unwelcome to the players they're impersonating as they are to all of us. So what's the point of discussing them?

But still, ohmygod. Beltran looks completely lost. Piazza looks like he'll never again be anything close to what he was. Reyes is popping everything up and can't seem to hit from the right side. Cameron is on the shelf. Mientkiewicz seems to have forgotten how to hit. Matsui seems to have forgotten how to play baseball. Wright is killing himself trying to hit five-run homers — and almost literally killed himself today catching a foul ball. (Nice play, but discretion, valor, etc.) No matter how healthy he finally is, Floyd can't carry eight other dudes on his broad shoulders.

Nor is there much hope from our once-vaunted bench. Diaz went to AAA and somehow forgot everything he seemed to have learned early in the year, meaning his resemblance to Manny Ramirez is now chiefly mental. None of Matsui's replacements are exactly worth of hosannas — Woodward is a utility guy, Anderson can't field, Cairo is hobbled, and Jeff Keppinger and (dare I say it) Edgardo Alfonzo managed to get hurt, depriving us even of hypotheticals. Daubach can draw a walk but can neither field nor run.

The pitching? Better than that, for all it matters, but not that great. Ishii's continuing presence in the rotation is baffling. Glavine finds a way to pitch badly enough to lose more often than not. (If we want to find a bright side, it would be that the other three guys — including the much-maligned Zambrano — have been more or less above reproach recently.) Nobody trusts Looper to close out a game that matters. Bell has guts but gives up too many gopher balls. Hernandez has looked decidedly mortal after a strong start. Graves may find himself, but he hasn't been reliable since the '04 All-Star break. Heilman is being wasted in the pen. DeJean having a roster spot is a travesty, seeing how he's a horrible pitcher and a bad teammate to boot. Meanwhile, Jae Seo is pitching somewhere with dizzy bat races and lots of ads on the outfield walls.

Are we too injured? Too old? Too young? Too old and too young? Too unlucky? Enduring a difficult transition? Just a more-sickening version of your typical .500 team? I don't know. Maybe you do. If so, please tell me. Tell me about the worm turning, about Willie's patience being rewarded, about a division still within reach, about Trachsel returning and a glut of tradeable starters, about healing and regressing to the mean in a good way. Tell me about Brian Bannister and Philip Humber and Lastings Milledge. Tell me about our new park. Please tell me something. Please tell me anything.

The System is Down for Maintenance

WARNING!

Hard drive titled NEW YORK METS is unable to access offense at this time.

Default system requirement for NEW YORK METS offense is between 4 and 6 R.

NEW YORK METS offense byte remaining is zero.

NEW YORK METS offense will not run on this operating system.

Please restart NEW YORK METS offense.

Disk titled DAUBACH insufficient for restart of NEW YORK METS offense.

NEW YORK METS offense invalid in folder titled WEST COAST SWING.

NEW YORK METS offense requires immediate attention.

NEW YORK METS offense is out of memory.

Fatal system error.

Please try again Saturday night, 10:05.

The Ten Spot

Wow. So it is.

Look at the luminaries who bestrode the globe then for us. Hot Rod Hundley — did zip. Ryan Thompson — went 0 for 3, probably on about seven pitches for the afternoon. At least Fonzie hit a triple, which I guarantee we cheered wildly. (Bonilla hit a triple, which I doubt we did.) Doug Drabek started against us? Amazing. What, if anything, is Doug Drabek doing right now?

On the other hand, Craig Biggio was an Astro and was beating us. Some things haven't changed.

I remembered that Pulse had put up a three-spot in the first. Nope, a fin. Interesting how my memory, for once, was more optimistic than whatever part of my brain it is that attempts to predict the future.

I may have this conflated with another game, but I also remember that there were two early-twenties couples below us in the faaaancy mezzanine seats (they got sunburned too), whom I first noticed because the guys joined in the little flurry of hand claps for the “Friends” theme song, which earned them my immediate and thorough disapproval. We made a minor parlor game out of trying to figure out which woman was with which guy, with scant evidence to work with: The women sat and chatted while the guys muttered to each other and quietly got drunker and drunker, until in the late innings they basically had their heads on the back of the seats in front of them. At which point Jose Vizcaino, in his infinite wisdom, decided it was time to bunt, even though we were down 7-2 or something similarly hideous.

That was too much for Friends Guy #1, who leapt to his feet, blind with rage, and started screaming, “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUNTING???!! IT'S 7 TO 2! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUNTING???!!!!” For one thing, he was absolutely right — why the fuck was Vizcaino bunting? For another thing, he had a fairly impressive ballpark voice for a guy who'd clap along with the Rembrandts.

(Oh, and this solved the riddle of who was with whom — one of the women buried her head in her arms as her boyfriend/date became unhinged, racing down to the mezzanine railing to get three feet closer to Vizcaino, whom he kept berating as the Viz wandered around the batter's box, perhaps wondering, “Gee, why the fuck am I bunting?”)

If so, it didn't take: Even though the tiny sliver of surprise was lost, Vizcaino continued to square. “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUNTING???!!!” howled Friends Guy #1. By now I was giggling like a damn fool.

Then FG#1 put his head down on the concrete wall in despair — only to lift it a couple of pitches later to stare up at the uncaring sky and wail, “STOP BUNTING!!!!”

If I've got the game right (and hell, after all that just humor me and say I do), that means there are two legacies of that ten-years-gone game: I still like to yell “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BUNTING???!!!” at Mets who commit this sin, then follow it with a belated moan to “STOP BUNTING!!!”

That and our solid decade of muttered commentaries, pissy/elated/philosophical/elegiac day-after emails and high-fives and bear hugs in the seconds after the rarer-than-they-should-be Met triumphs intense enough to transform a day. Every one of those exchanges has made the joyous games more joyous, the agonizing games more bearable, and the insufferably boring games actually interesting, even the ones where we wondered if Trachsel had frozen solid on the mound. So thanks, partner. Happy anniversary right back to you.

Now what say we celebrate by beating the crap out of some Mariners?

There's Still a Pulse

What were you doing ten years ago today? I'll tell you what you were doing ten years ago today.

You were meeting me for the first time. And me you.

Happy anniversary, co-blogger. Our first game together was June 17, 1995, exactly a decade past. Time really books the Concorde, don't it?

The occasion, you will no doubt recall, was the heralded Major League debut of one Bill Pulsipher, the lefty who was going to lead this team into the 21st century. Him and Isringhausen and Wilson, of course. They would come later. Pulse was here first. We had to see him. We had to see him now.

It was appropriate in that Bill Pulsipher was like some coat of arms to the loose confederation of Mets fans who were making themselves known to me via America Online in 1994-95. I'll never forget the two sensations I felt when I discovered there was an electronic medium in which one could write one's feelings about baseball and have other people read them and write back almost instantly.

1) Wow, there are other Mets fans in the world.

2) Wow, all these other Mets fans are investing a lot of faith in minor leaguers most of them have ever seen before, especially Bill Pulsipher.

But a prospect's a prospect, especially to a team that was mired in fourth place and on a five-year losing streak. So Pulse it was that hot, sunny day. My, it was sunny. It was so sunny that I came home with my worst ballpark sunburn ever. From that day forward, I always packed the sunscreen.

We met cute, as they say in the movies. I said look for the guy in the New York Giants cap. You said you'd have on a Capital City Bombers lid. Later, we each admitted, we weren't sure what the other guy's headgear would look like, but we figured it out. It wasn't like there was a stampede of Pulseheads between us so we couldn't find one another. Paid attendance: 20,000 and change. Hence, I apologize as I did ten years ago today for finding us such relatively lousy seats in the left field mezzanine. I was the older, more New York-based of us. I was supposed to know how to buy two tickets. Oh well. At least we got some sun.

So did Brett Butler. Pulse was who we came to see but it was Brett Butler who I remember standing out for all the wrong reasons. There are no errors in the box score, but I recall Butler having a hard time with a fly ball in the sun. And a hard time up with runners on. This was the day the crowd en masse turned on Brett Butler, the man who came to New York with the stated goal of teaching Carl Everett and Ricky Otero how to play center (he actually said that), but by June 17 was working the phones to get himself traded back to Los Angeles.

Years later, incidentally, a letter crossed my desk from a celebrity speakers bureau. It offered me and my organization a chance to have baseball great Brett Butler share his inspirational story with us. Only $20,000. (I passed.)

Pulse gave up five in the first but unlike today's coddling managers, Dallas Green left him out there in the heat to find himself, and in Pulselike fashion, he almost did. Gave up only two more runs over the next six. Bill Pulsipher was allowed to pitch seven innings in his Major League debut after giving up five runs to the Astros in the first inning. That was crazy or brave or both and perhaps a cause of his arm miseries to come. (The night before, the Mets lost a 16-inning affair in which Bobby Jones pitched ten, so Green presumably had a short bullpen, let alone a shorter fuse for those who preached pitch counts.)

Well, the Mets didn't win that day. It was Houston, 7-3 — my seventh consecutive loss as a Shea-going fan, so in that sense, nothing unusual. But I do consider June 17, 1995 a milestone in my life as a fan. It was the first time I went to a Mets game with somebody I met through what seemed like such revolutionary channels, but by no means the last. Because we hit it off, I continued to e-chat up other Mets fans, many of whom became and remain good friends, none of whom have revealed themselves to be knife-wielding stalkers or craven swindlers yet.

More to the point, I've enjoyed our relationship no end in virtual reality as well as real reality these last ten years. I will tell you now in front of, oh, dozens of readers that there's not another soul whose ramblings, ruminations and recriminations regarding the New York Mets I look forward to as much as yours. I couldn't have a better blogoshpere roommate or company for all the Pulsiphers, Pratts, Paytons, Piazzas and Pedros who have come along since.

This Internet thing you were raving to me about in 1995 as I scoffed that it would never last — it may turn out to be something after all.

We Have a Witness

The Mets ended their 32-year winless drought in Oakland, to say nothing of a more pedestrian three-game losing streak, Thursday afternoon. I dared to confirm it on television, even. But why take my word for it when we had a special correspondent on hand to bear witness?

My oldest friend in the world (oldest in the Kranepool and not the Stengel sense) Joel Lugo is an expatriate New Yorker and world-class song parodist now based in Northern California. He, his brother Anthony and his nephew Joshua decided it would be great fun to meet the Mets in unfamiliar surroundings. He filed this report Thursday evening so I don't have to.

Just got home from the 24-hour traffic jam that is the whole of the San Francisco Bay area.

It was a glorious day at Anti-virus Stadium…glorious that is if your idea of a perfect day is spent getting cold and wet in Shame Stadium West watching the Mets continue the slow eating out of my kishkas. At least until the fellers finally decided it was time to score a week's worth of runs in one inning and change my dreary, wet afternoon into a happy, wet afternoon.

I can report that Mets fans comprised approximately 20% of the fans in attendance, wearing Mets apparel from the '70s, '80s, '90s and present.

In baseball action, it really made me homesick for Shea when the many Mets fans in attendance joined me in loudly cursing the awful performance of the aptly named Mr. Graves. He was getting hit so hard I thought he was pitching underhanded for a while. Dear God. Sure glad we included an option year in his contract.

My Met compatriots' faith in Mr. Looper was also not off the charts, as he once again got the outs he needed while looking like it could easily have gone the other way. All in all, a nice comeback win and hopefully an awakening of their long slumbering bats.

I'm gonna get under the blankets now and thaw out.

Flak Jacket?

You ain't missing nothing, pal. Though if I'd been wearing a tie to watch last night's game, at least I could have used it to choke myself until I passed out. While unconscious, I might have dreamed of nicer things. Like a team that can hit.

OK, that's a bit of an overreaction. Victor pitched very well, injuries scuttled Willie's planned lineup changes (Cameron to lead off, Reyes to hit second — hey, it's a start), and things were closely fought. Zambrano almost turned Kotsay's comebacker into a double play instead of a fielder's choice — and I don't mean that in a Glavinesque plays-you'd-like-to-see-made way, as it was a hard shot. Then Floyd was helpless on Crosby's little flare that brought in Scutaro with the first run. Diaz looked ghastly on a couple of routes to balls, but made the plays. Wright, Mientkiewicz and Reyes combined for a brief little comeback in the 7th to even things once again. Ring was terrific in erasing Chavez in the 8th and made an awfully good 3-2 pitch — just off the plate, alas — to Kielty in the 9th. Even if one could argue he shouldn't have been facing the righty in that spot.

Of course, when you score two runs, it's horseshoes and hand grenades. No need for a memo or a follow-up visit to the therapist, just a loss. How sad is it that the bright side of last night's game is that it was “just” a loss?

Benson/Glynn in a couple of hours. I wonder what the lineup will be. I wonder what the lineup can be.

The A's Put Me in Therapy

“Greg, come in. How are you doing this week?”

“Well, doctor, I’ve been having some issues.”

“I see. I know mid-June is always stressful for you. Is it that it’s June 15 and you’re having flashbacks to the Wednesday Night Massacre? You know, Greg, that was 28 years ago and obsessing on it isn’t going to bring back Tom Seaver, Dave Kingman or even Mike Phillips.”

“No, doctor. I’m fine with June 15. Just the other day I blogged about Steve Henderson’s game-winning home run in 1980, and I figure I wouldn’t have that memory if not for the Seaver trade. Not that that makes what M. Donald Grant and Dick Young did right, but I’m getting over it.”

“That’s a real breakthrough. Because you know that the trading deadline doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing for the Mets.”

“Yes, I remember you told me that and that you reminded me that the Mets got Keith Hernandez on June 15 and Donn Clendenon on June 15.”

“And you understand that trades aren’t in and of themselves good things or bad things…”

“…It depends on the trade. I understand that. In fact, I’m pretty excited about a trade rumor I read about.”

“Oh?”

“There’s talk that the Mets might be able to send Kaz Matsui to San Francisco for Edgardo Alfonzo.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“I don’t know. First off, Fonzie got hurt since the rumor surfaced, so it probably won’t happen. But if it did, I can’t escape the feeling that it will somehow backfire.”

“You don’t find that a little fatalistic? Alfonzo’s one of your all-time favorites and yet you can’t enjoy the specter of his return?”

“I know. It’s just that so few Mets who’ve gone away and come back ever do as well again. In fact, I wrote my first column for Gotham Baseball about that.”

“That’s good that you can express those feelings in another forum, but I’d prefer if you didn’t use our sessions to plug your side projects.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No need to apologize. It’s just a little tacky.”

“I understand.”

“How are you handling the post-non-no-hitter situation?”

“I’m OK with that, too. I didn’t really expect Pedro to get it, so I can’t say I was too disappointed.”

“Really? Seems to me you get very up for these no-hitter attempts and then it’s a long drop from fantasizing about how great it will be to the reality that it didn’t happen.”

“To be perfectly honest, it was tough. But there is something almost reassuring about the Mets’ futility in these situations.”

“To be perfectly honest with you, that sounds like rationalization.”

“Maybe, but what’re ya gonna do?”

“What about the slump? The Mets have only scored 17 runs in the last seven games, and I know you tend to have feelings of inadequacy when the Mets’ offense is so impotent.”

“It’s nothing I’m not used to. The Mets have had lots of weeks where they don’t score 17 runs, so to me this is a bonanza.”

“What about the Saturday game?”

“What about it?”

“You tend to experience a certain euphoria following events like those against the Angels the other night. Marlon Anderson and Cliff Floyd had to have brought out that emotion in you.”

“Sure. Is that bad?”

“No. We should be able to feel happy. But there is the inevitable letdown when the Mets don’t turn a win like that into a winning streak.”

“I suppose I’m feeling some of that. But it’s not paralyzing or anything like that. I can enjoy a win like that without regretting that the games after it aren’t as good.”

“Even with that umpire throwing Piazza out in the first inning?”

“I can’t stress over matters that are out of my control.”

“But you do.”

“I’m dealing with it. Can we leave it at that for now?”

“All right. What about the new stadium? How do you feel about that?”

“Great.”

“Really?”

“Well, I don’t necessarily trust the Wilpons to do it right, and I imagine the Yankees getting their ballpark will somehow screw us over, and I won’t really believe we’ll have a new Shea when they say we will.”

“The fact that you’re calling it the new Shea when the likelihood is that it will carry some corporate name indicates you might be experiencing a sense of displacement.”

“Look, I don’t doubt that if the new park is built that there will be a kind of separation anxiety, but I gotta tell ya, Doc, I’m not gonna be overwhelmingly sad when it happens.”

“You don’t think so?”

“OK, I do think so, but I also think that when the new place is ready, I’m gonna look back fondly on Shea and move on.”

“You’ve been attending games at Shea since 1973, and it’s that simple?”

“I guess you haven’t been reading my blog every day this season, but I’ve kind of had it with Shea. No, I’m ready to say goodbye to it when the time comes.”

“What else is on your mind this week?”

“Well, it’s funny that you mentioned 1973.”

“Why is that?”

“The Mets were in the World Series that year.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And they played Oakland.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And they lost the World Series in Oakland.”

“And what’s the significance of that to you now?”

“Because of Interleague play, the Mets are back in Oakland to play the A’s for the first time since that World Series.”

“I see. How does that make you feel?”

“Well the games themselves are no big deal.”

“No?”

“The Mets eventually play everybody in Interleague. Oakland’s the last team they hadn’t played, so it seems reasonable that they finally do.”

“What was the first game like?”

“I couldn’t tell you.”

“Oh?”

“I fell asleep. Missed most of it. I know they lost, though.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s the first Mets-A’s game since 1973, since you were ten years old, and you slept through it.”

“I was tired.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, I was.”

“Were you?”

“Yes! Is it a crime that I fell asleep rather than watch the Mets lose to the A’s. I don’t even know who’s on the A’s. Why do I have to stay up all night and watch them succumb to guys like Bert Campaneris?”

“Bert Campaneris?”

“What about him?”

“You just said you didn’t want to stay up Tuesday night and watch the Mets lose to Bert Campaneris.”

“I did?”

“Yes.”

“I meant Bobby Crosby. I don’t watch the American League that much.”

“So who’s Bert Campaneris?”

“He was the shortstop on the ’73 A’s. Probably deserved the MVP instead of Reggie. And I still don’t see what you’re getting at.”

“It just doesn’t seem like you to miss a game like that.”

“It’s just one game.”

“Yes, but you’re very meticulous about things like this. You’ve been careful to buy a ticket to at least one game against every American League opponent who’s ever played the Mets at Shea Stadium.”

“That’s just a thing with me.”

“A thing?”

“The first year they had six-packs, the Mets promoted the one I bought as the “firsts” six-pack: first game against the Devil Rays, first game against the Orioles, like that.”

“When was that?”

“In 1998.”

“So it wasn’t the first game against the Orioles, really.”

“No, I guess not. 1969 was the first game against the Orioles.”

“In the World Series.”

“Sure. So?”

“The Mets won that World Series.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, Doc.”

“You’ve told me you have very happy memories of the 1969 World Series.”

“What little I remember of it, yeah. It was wonderful.”

“But you haven’t told me much about the 1973 World Series.”

“What’s to tell?”

“Why don’t you tell me? If you’re old enough to remember 1969 then I assume you can tell me about 1973.”

“1973 was wonderful, too.”

“Was it?”

“Yeah. The Mets were in last in late August…”

“Uh-huh.”

“But they were only like 6-1/2 back…”

“Uh-huh.”

“And they stormed back to win the division…”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then they beat the Reds to win the pennant.”

“That’s it?”

“What else is there to say?”

“Greg, you’re avoiding what I asked you.”

“What?”

“I know about the Mets’ comeback in the regular season and how they won the playoffs.”

“Then why are you asking me about it?”

“I’m not. I need you to tell me about the 1973 World Series.”

“Why?”

“Pretend I’m one of your readers. You have no problem telling them everything that’s on your mind — at length — where the Mets are concerned.”

“Fine. It’s 1973. I’m ten years old. The Mets are in the World Series. I’m very happy.”

“Are you?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

“Why should you be?”

“Because the Mets are in the World Series. What more could a ten-year-old want?”

“You must’ve enjoyed watching that Series a lot.”

“Sure. I guess.”

“You guess?”

“To tell you the truth, I’m kind of hazy on the memories.”

“Oh?”

“Well, the main thing I remember about the first game is it was in Oakland and that Felix Millan made the error that allowed the eventual winning run to score for the A’s.”

“Did you know that would be the winning run when you saw it?”

“I didn’t exactly see it.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, I went with my parents to Hills in Island Park while the game was going on. We had to go grocery shopping. I remember the store manager announced the score while we were in the produce aisle.”

“Your parents took you grocery shopping?”

“Yeah.”

“During the World Series?”

“Yeah.”

“With the Mets in the World Series?”

“Yeah.”

“How did you feel about that?”

“I don’t know. It was 32 years ago.”

“But you were a big Mets fan even then.”

“Sure.”

“And you weren’t allowed to watch it?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say I wasn’t allowed.”

“But your parents didn’t think enough of your Mets fandom to let you stay home and watch it?”

“I don’t know. When I was a kid, they didn’t necessarily take stuff like that into account.”

“What else do you remember about the 1973 World Series?”

“The Mets lost that first game. They won that second game. I seem to recall watching it if that makes you feel any better.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then the Mets and A’s came back to New York to play the middle three. Seaver pitched great, 12 strikeouts in eight innings, but lost Game Three. Then the Mets won the next two. It was really cold at Shea.”

“At that point, the Mets were up three games to two over Oakland.”

“Yeah. I remember how exciting it was to feel the Mets were just one win away. George Stone.”

“What did you just say?”

“One win away.”

“After that. You mentioned a George Stone.”

“I did?”

“You did. Who’s he?”

“Oh, George Stone. He was the Mets’ fourth starter that year. He went 12-3. He should’ve started the sixth game in Oakland.”

“He didn’t?”

“No. Yogi Berra decided to start Tom Seaver on short rest.”

“How did that work out?”

“How do you think that worked out? Tom had just struck out 12 in a night game in freezing Shea Stadium on Tuesday night. Now it wasn’t even 72 hours later across the country and Yogi was making him take the ball again. Tom had thrown his heart out down the stretch. He’d do anything you asked, but he was used to pitching on four days’ rest. It wasn’t right.”

“So Seaver didn’t win Game Six.”

“No.”

“What about Game Seven?”

“Matlack pitched. He was also going on three days’ rest.”

“I take it the result was the same.”

“More or less. We lost.”

“How did you feel watching that.”

“It’s hard to say.”

“Why is it hard to say?”

“Because I didn’t really get to watch much of it.”

“You didn’t?”

“No.”

“How come?”

“Well, that weekend, my parents took me and my sister upstate to the Raleigh, a resort in the Catskills. It was the first time we ever went to one of those places as a family. We’d stayed in hotels before, but my mother said this was different because instead of going somewhere else to eat, they served meals in the dining room to everybody staying there all at once and everybody had to dress up.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, I thought that was kind of stupid. I didn’t like dressing up then any more than I like dressing up now.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But my mother made me promise to bring my sport jacket.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And I didn’t.”

“You didn’t?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to. I rarely acted out as a child but this seemed, to my ten-year-old mind, an unreasonable request. We ate dinner all the time and I never had to dress up. The only time I had to put on a jacket and tie was to go to temple. It didn’t seem right to have to do it just to eat dinner.”

“How did your mother react?”

“Not well. She was pretty mad once we got upstate and I said I’d forgotten to pack it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So she told me because I didn’t bring the jacket, I couldn’t watch the World Series.”

“You couldn’t watch the World Series?”

“No.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“How the fuck do you think I felt? This was the Mets, the only thing in the world I really cared about when I was ten years old and they’re in the fucking World Series which was a miracle in itself and I can’t watch it?”

“What did you do?”

“To be honest, I managed to sneak enough peeks to see what was going on, that Seaver didn’t have it, that Matlack didn’t have it, that Reggie Jackson and Ken Holtzman and yes, Bert Campaneris, were doing us in.”

“So the punishment didn’t really take?”

“Not completely, no.”

“Yet you still seem upset about it.”

“Look, I was a good kid. I’m a good adult, I think. I don’t hurt anybody. I don’t gratuitously insult anybody I know. I always say please and thank you. All I wanted to do that weekend was watch the Mets beat the A’s in Oakland and not have to wear a stupid sport jacket. Is that so bad? Does that make me a bad person?”

“Do you think it does?”

“No!”

“Well, that’s good.”

“Why is that good?”

“Because you realize you can’t be responsible for your ten-year-old self.”

“It’s a little late for that.”

“No it’s not. You’re obviously carrying around a lot of animosity for your mother from that World Series. You react to the Mets being in Oakland by tuning them out. You miss their first game there since 1973 by falling asleep. You can barely stand to look at the TV while they’re playing their second game there.”

“Oh come on. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“I have no problem with watching games from Oakland. I watched the A’s when they were in the playoffs all those years. My wife and I even went to the Whatever It Was Called Then Coliseum in 2001 when we were in San Francisco. Tell me how many baseball fans bother to cross the bay to Oakland. Anybody can go to Pac Bell.”

“Were the A’s playing the Mets in 2001?”

“No. I told you this is the first series we’ve played them since 1973.”

“So seeing the Mets in the Oakland Coliseum — or whatever it’s called now — is painful for you.”

“That sounds a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

“What do you think?”

“I’d say painful is the headaches I get and the chronic indigestion I have and when my cat Bernie died last month. The Mets playing baseball isn’t painful.”

“It’s not?”

“All right, I stepped into that one. Yes, it can be painful when they lose a big game to the Braves or the Yankees or something like that.”

“But not the 1973 World Series?”

“I was just happy we got that far.”

“You were?”

“Yes. The A’s were a great team.”

“They were?”

“Yes, they were! Look at all the Hall of Famers and the perennial All-Stars they had. They won the World Series the year before and the year after. They were a dynasty.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But we could’ve won.”

“Could’ve?”

“Yes, we could’ve. If damn Yogi had started George Fucking Stone in Game Six, we could’ve won. Should’ve won. Because even if he’d lost, Seaver would’ve been well-rested and he would’ve beaten the goddamn A’s and we would’ve been World Champions. Instead, in the Daily News the next morning, Bill Gallo drew a cartoon that had Yogi changing the letters in the Mets’ slogan from YA GOTTA BELIEVE to YA GOTTA BEREAVE. I had never even heard that word before. God, that sucked.”

“But I thought you said 1973 was wonderful.”

“It was.”

“But you seem upset about it.”

“I’m not upset.”

“Not upset about losing the World Series?”

“I told you.”

“Told me what?”

“That we were just lucky to be there.”

“Really? It was enough just enough to win the pennant?”

“Winning the pennant was great.”

“But was it enough?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way.”

“How would you put it?”

“All these years, I’ve looked back on 1973 fondly because of Tug and Tom and the comeback from last place and all that. But…”

“But?”

“But I think I’ve been rationalizing.”

“Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“What are you rationalizing?”

“When I was six, the Mets won the World Series.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And it was the greatest feeling in the world.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And they were still a good team the next few years.”

“Uh-huh.”

“They just didn’t finish first.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I knew that was part of the deal, that you couldn’t win every year.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But in 1973, we suddenly had this golden opportunity. And it didn’t happen.”

“What didn’t happen?”

“We didn’t win the World Series. We could’ve, but we didn’t. We should’ve, but we didn’t.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“It makes me feel awful!”

“Why?”

“WHY? WHY? Can you imagine how great it would have been to have won the 1973 World Series? Can you imagine how great it would have been to have grown up with two world championships instead of just one fluky one that I barely remember? Can you imagine what might have happened to this franchise if they had beaten the A’s? They were there for the fucking taking and we didn’t do it! Maybe everything changes after that! Maybe the whole organization doesn’t go into the tank! Maybe somehow Tom Seaver doesn’t get traded 28 years ago! Maybe he gets his no-hitter for us! Maybe everything about being a Mets fan in the ’70s is better. Maybe we’re not always so feeble offensively and maybe we already have a great new Camden Yards type ballpark instead of having to wade through some idiotic Olympics plan to get what will probably be a subpar stadium. Maybe every moron Angel Hernandez or Eric Cooper doesn’t fuck us over with absurd calls. Maybe we don’t suck for years and years and I’m not reduced to remembering Steve Henderson hitting a stupid home run against the Giants in 1980 as my lone happy moment of being a Mets fan in high school. Goddammit!”

“Anything else?”

“Maybe I should’ve packed my stupid sport jacket.”

“Why?”

“Maybe if I had, I would’ve gotten to have watched the World Series without having to sneak around like a criminal. Maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe we would’ve won.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a superstitious person, except when it comes to baseball. To be honest, I’ve never connected all of this before. I just wish the Mets had won the 1973 World Series.”

“But they didn’t.”

“No, they didn’t.”

“And you can’t change that now.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Look, our time is up, but this has been good. It sounds to me as if you’ve begun to come to grips with a lot of things that had been residing deep in your subconscious.”

“Well, that’s good, I guess.”

“It is. It really is.”

“Good.”

“One other thing.”

“What?”

“It’s OK to watch the Mets play the A’s in Oakland this week.”

“Fuck that. I’d rather wear a sport jacket to dinner.”

Memo

FROM: Jason

DATE: 15 June 2005 1:11 am

TO: Minaya, Omar; Randolph, Willie

CC: Piazza, Mike; Mientkiewicz, Doug; Cairo, Miguel; Reyes, Jose; Wright, David; Floyd, Cliff; Beltran, Carlos; Diaz, Victor; Anderson, Marlon; Glavine, Tom; DeJean, Mike; Matsui, Kazuo

BCC: Graves, Danny

SUBJECT: 135 Minutes of My Life

Gentlemen, tonight I decided to watch the lot of you earn the gross national product of a Latin American country to play what I assumed would be baseball. Having made this error, I'd now like the last 135 minutes or so of my life back so I can put this time to better use, such as by spending it crawling over gravel, projectile vomiting, or repeatedly closing my head in a door.

Did you all walk to California? That might be one conceivable explanation for the limp, apathetic approximation of baseball I witnessed with emotions that ran the gamut from annoyance to dull fury. In seven innings you managed to collect three hits and not a solitary walk off Joe Blanton, owner of a 5.76 ERA,* while pitching ineffectively and fielding badly. While each and every one of you deserves to have the buffet overturned and be herded into the shower for a good screaming-at, I'm just going to single out a few of you. If your name isn't called, rest assured you probably did something stupid too — I'm just too disgusted to remember it clearly at the moment.

Tommy, I don't want to read the paper tomorrow and see some innocuous remarks about a ball that just tipped out of someone's glove, plays one hopes to see made and the usual I'll-take-responsibility-for-everything-that-was-my-fault-which-wasn't-much bushwah that comes out of your mouth. You pitched badly enough to lose, as usual, and we're all tired of it.

Carlos, I know the quad's hurting, but lackadaisical fielding is inexcusable, particularly when it gives TMB over there yet another excuse.

David, you're a good kid and all, but the histrionics aren't endearing. We know you're trying, so you don't need to telegraph your agony to the cheap seats. There was a kid named Jefferies who did that stuff a while back. You don't want to be mentioned in the same paragraph as him ever again.

Kaz, when you're brought in for the end of a lost cause, is it too much to ask that you field one chance without screwing it up?

DeJean, where were you? God help you if you were calling the official scorer again — there's no way to get that leadoff home run blamed on one of your teammates, you know. I don't even know what to say to you, other than that you have no discernable abilities that would benefit a major-league baseball team. I need to talk to Omar about you. Omar? Dammit, where'd he go?

Victor, I'm looking at the ceiling because I'm not sure I can look at you right now. When you're the tying run and a 21-year-old closer is brought into the game, you might want to work a goddamn count, instead of bouncing into a double play on the second pitch. You — ugh. Give me a moment. Judging from the balls Kaz and Carlos hit in the ninth, Huston Street didn't have his best stuff, but you didn't find that out, did you, Victor? Ass-brained semi-at-bats like this make me wonder if in fact you aren't getting exactly the amount of playing time you deserve.

32 and 32. How'd we win 32?

Y'know, I feel for that guy who got entered in the sweepstakes for a Durango and a million bucks or whatever the hell that fool promotion was, because to be eligible he had to call, which means he had to watch seven innings of whatever the hell it was you guys were doing on the field tonight. It ain't worth it, fellas. Not by a long shot. Now get out of my sight until tomorrow night. When things better be different.

* 6.13, actually. And I thought I was being too harsh.