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God help me, I want this stupid thing.
And I don’t think I ever got Fred Norman. What am I going on about now? Click here. If you’ve almost made it to Saturday, then it’s Flashback Friday at Faith and Fear in Flushing. I don’t know where I got the notion — maybe from a friend or from someone at school or from watching older kids at the five-and-dime — but one day in 1976 I made up my mind: I’m going to collect baseball cards. I got ideas like this fairly often, back in the late 1970s. I have enough allowance money to afford two Star Wars figures. I kind of liked that Hardy Boys book Dad got me. I’m going to collect baseball cards. Each time it was an idle thought that unleashed a years-long avalanche of collecting, list-making and obsession — I’ve never done anything by halves, though most of the time that would be a good idea. But baseball cards marked the first such avalanche, and the blueprint for all the rest of them. In the spring and summer of 1976 in Long Island, I lived to collect baseball cards. Specifically, I collected rack packs. Some shops up by the Finast and the King Kullen had wax packs, but a) I didn’t have any reason to go in there; b) they were the province of scary teenagers who smoked; and c) I didn’t know. So I was ridiculously old before my teeth shattered my first flat rectangle of pink Topps gum. Rack packs didn’t have gum — they were an accordion fold of three packs of cards in clear plastic (photo here), with a fourth panel that was just a red rectangle that said “trading cards” with the Topps logo, in that affectless style that all but screams, “It was the 1970s! None of us knew how to market anything!” You got 42 cards, and if memory serves they were 55 cents after tax. But the crucial thing was that clear plastic. That meant you could see six of the 42 cards you’d be getting — three fronts and three backs. (Why backs? Why not turn half the cards around so you could see six card fronts? Because it was the 1970s, and nobody knew how to market anything.) On top of this, if you knew how and the shopkeeper wasn’t hanging over you like an avenging angel, you could push and pull the cards within the plastic this way and that and sometimes get a glimpse of the colors of the next card or even the card two down. That gave you a fighting chance at knowing if any of the outermost nine or even 12 cards were Mets — they had yellow bottoms, though they shared that characteristic with a few other teams. (The Yankees were a sky blue.) The key to rack packs, as you’ve probably intuited by now, was prospecting for the Met-heavy ones. It was digging down for the one near the bottom of the box that had Mike Vail on the front, or noting that the white-on-green letters visible on a card back said BUD HARRELSON, or putting aside a pack you’d pushed and pulled to see that the middle blister had a card with a yellow bottom right below the one showing. Prospecting, though, took time. And time was reckoned differently by seven-year-olds and adults. Now, I understand that every kid (including me) would leave the rack packs scattered all over the other merchandise and many a kid would steal as many packs as the pockets of their Mighty Macs would hold. (Not including me — I would have been deeply shocked at the idea of stealing anything, even a rack pack with a visible Dave Kingman if I had no money.) Then, all I knew was prospecting for rack packs at the stationery store should have been great but wasn’t. The other place to prospect for rack packs was much farther from our house, but it was so much better that I used to dream we were going there. It was McCrory’s, a now-extinct five-and-dime that sold everything from bolts of fabric to model kits to baseball cards. Oh, how McCrory’s sold baseball cards. The aisle on the way to the registers had these big tables with raised sides, each one like a giant open drawer, with another big display drawer underneath, perfectly positioned for rummaging through while sitting on the floor. McCrory’s reserved each of those big tables for a different class of notions, and during the season at least one of them — sometimes two or even three — would be full of rack packs. Overflowing with rack packs, so much so that you could reach your hands into them and slosh your hands through them and feel plastic sliding over and under your hands and hear that crackle and shhh as you wiggled your fingers. We’d go to the Smith Haven Mall (which was near the hardware store and the McDonald’s and everything else of note in our part of Long Island) every week or two, and I would make a beeline for McCrory’s and the baseball-card table with the understanding that my parents would come collect me there when they were done with whatever adult thing they had gone to the mall to do. I never did get all the ’76 Topps cards — I wound up missing like 50 or 60 of them, somehow. Years later, at card shows, I’d occasionally flip past one of the missing ’76es and stop and stare at a card that my seven-year-old self swore couldn’t exist. (On the other hand, I think I got about 54 Mike Anderson Traded cards.) I did get all the Mets, and I still have them tucked away in a binder. Jerry Koosman and Del Unser are practically round. Randy Tate is liberally splotched with what I’m pretty sure is now 31-year-old Nestle’s Quik. They’re testaments to the fact that children love things half to death, and I’ve kept them because there’s nothing whatsoever wrong with that. It’s a sight to make any mint collector shudder, but to me it’s comforting: This what baseball cards look like. Simply framed photo above, name, team and position below. The player’s name is set against a blue background; METS is in black, against that sometimes-deceptive yellow. On the lower left, a little stylized figure showing the player’s position. (I think I was about 30 when I noticed that there’s a right-handed pitcher and a left-handed pitcher.) The blue of the Mets gear varies strangely in the photos, from Buddy Harrelson’s navy cap to Felix Millan’s near-aquamarine batting helmet. The composition is all over the place, too: For every terribly dull card (Jesus Alou is fat, Ed Kranepool looks fat, tired and possibly hungover, Joe Torre is both unhappy and vanishing into shadows), there’s one I remember as being thrillingly stylish (Jon Matlack grinning like he’s just come into possession of the secret of the universe, Felix Millan with his hands choked halfway up the bat, John Stearns thoroughly enjoying his Bad Dude batting stance). I still collect cards. I quit when I was 12, then took it up again by accident in 1988. (The kids who lived next door to my parents wanted — no, needed — one of the four 1980 Rickey Henderson rookies I’d put in a doubles box when Rickey Henderson didn’t mean anything. To get rid of them I told them I’d trade them one for every Met card they had in their house. They had a lot of Met cards.) I now have every Met card Topps ever made, and every Topps card, of whatever team, of any player who has ever been a Met. (As this account will address in frightening detail.) In fact, I got the first series of 2007 Topps in the mail this week, and assessed them quickly with a practiced and by now somewhat dispassionate eye: They look like the ’71s, which look like the ’86s. Hey, Darren Oliver got a card. El Duque’s wearing the ’86 throwback uniform. Today I buy cards via eBay, or Beckett — PayPal transactions yield mail a few days later. Instead of opening packs I get the series hand-collated in a box. Needless to say, I don’t sit around in five-and-dimes hunting for rack packs anymore. (That would be scary.) But I think I can trace too many oversized emotions back to rack packs in 1976. Gluttony? That’s arriving at a birthday party and seeing a friend’s mother has wildly exceeded the Setauket, N.Y., party-favor mores by getting every kid in attendance three rack packs — and realizing half the other kids there don’t care about cards and will trade them for noisemakers or Oreos. Feeling smug because you’ve got this life thing figured out? It’s thinking my grandmother might just possibly be good for three rack packs at McCrory’s, asking for six and having her counter with four. Anger at a corporation? It’s sending 50 cents — practically a rack pack! — and a baseball wrapper to Westbury, N.Y., to get all 24 team cards, waiting a month and having the team cards come back on flimsy white stock that doesn’t match your other cards. Wild elation? It’s coming to the last possible unknown card of a rack pack — the one before the one with the back showing in the final blister — and coming up with Mike Phillips. Despair? That’s spending three weeks’ worth of allowance on rack packs, getting nothing and then watching my friend Andrew pull a Mets team card and his brother Robert (who liked the Yankees!) pull a Tom Seaver when he already had two of them. And anticipation? It’s cracking that first blister of a rack pack and shuffling past the card on top that you know about. Crinkle…snap. Jerry DaVanon (Astro), Phillie, Cub, Stupid Traded Card, Brave, Cub, Expo, Ranger, AL ERA Leaders, Expo, Pirate, Pirate (what the heck?!), YELLOW — Darn! a Red!, Bobby Murcer (back was showing, Giant.) Crinkle-snap. Barry Foote (Expo), Checklist, YELLOW — Another Red!, Rangers Team, Padre, Ranger, YELLOW — Ugh, an Angel!, Brewer, Pirate, White Sock, Cardinal, Padre, One of Those Black and White Cards (Who’s Pie Traynor?), Kevin Kobel (back was showing, Brewer.) Aw heck. Gene Clines. Next Friday: The speech we long to hear.
One vote for wearing the real uniforms in these games. Mets look sharp, whoever they are. Not that the Delgados of our world require enhancement by haberdashery, but all the No. 62s and higher seem more legit in crisp snow whites with their actual names embroidered on the back than in those drab blue, grab-one-off-the-pile batting practice shirts. Not that I remember most of who donned them, except that we seem to have a second Jose Reyes. He’s a catcher. There’s no confusing him with the original article, though it seems rather whimsical that they gave him four 7s to wear (two in the back, two on the front). Only time I actually paid attention was when that reliever we got for Bannister…wait, let me check the spelling…Ambiorix Burgos came into pitch the ninth and get the pretend save. I expected a nine-run disaster that would prompt an avalanche of calls to the FAN that we must trade this guy at once and bring back maybe Jorge Julio, but no, he pitched well. Except for a flare that fell in and an error on an unnecessary DP attempt by whichever infielder was trying to impress, he came away unscathed. He even retired rightfielder Rick Ankiel. Yup, same Rick Ankiel who pitched so poorly in the 2000 NLCS. There’s only one of him, but he apparently has uncommon versatility. Final: Mets 4 Cardinals 3. It’s not the Mets 4 Cardinals 3 that we really needed, but like I said, the uniforms looked nice. Ah, Day One. As my partner noted, it was a bunch of sweet nothing. Nothing whatsoever of note happened in Port St. Lucie this afternoon. And it was the best kind of nothing there can be. Oliver Perez is taking the ball against Detroit Wednesday, starting in consecutive games or going on 132 days’ rest, depending on how you choose to view this terribly overdue Mets-Tigers matchup. Either way, our boys will be lacing up spikes that are not — no matter how much elbow grease the clubhouse staff has put into it — 100% clean. Gum chewed more than four months ago is stuck to the bottom of our collective sole. It’s from Game Seven. I don’t think it will be easily scraped off. Did you think it was gone? Just because the calendar turned from 2006 to 2007? Just because almost everybody said the usual things about moving on and putting it behind us? It doesn’t work that way, not in baseball, not with losing a humongous baseball game. Now, that doesn’t mean the result from Game Seven is particularly foreboding where near-term success is concerned. In fact, as previously suggested, it could serve as motivation or inspiration for a team rocking the unfinished agenda angle. Or maybe it will be a drag on things. Mostly, I imagine, it won’t matter one way or the other once this season gets underway, not in a tangible 2007 sense. But it will always be with us on some level. Losses don’t loom any larger than those that delete you from the postseason. We’ve experienced five. Within that universe there is a subset: the winner-take-all/loser-go-home affair. We’ve lost three. Those are the toughest. But then you whittle down within the seventh-game defeats, the most exclusive club in all of sporting disappointments, and you find there is an even more elite group: the seventh game you lose at the very end. That was the 2006 National League Championship Series, Game Seven. That’s the gum. That’s the legend. The Legend of Game Seven. We don’t want it. But it won’t come clean. We saw that as Spring Training got going and the indelible events of October 19 re-emerged with reflections and recriminations pinging all over the continent like a severely botched rundown. In a perverse way (a very perverse way), I get a kick out of there being a legend growing from the ninth inning…or should we say The Ninth Inning? I’d prefer the legend be one that involves an additional base hit, but it’s more than just a rally come up short now. It’s baseball lore. Was Willie Randolph really confused? Did Jerry Manuel pull the strings? Is Cliff Floyd remembering things the way he wants, facts be damned? Last week, Cliff and Willie and Jerry and David Wright all weighed in on what wasn’t even the decisive at-bat of the ninth inning, Cliff’s time up. He was only the first out. Two outs remained, yet three days of reporting was devoted to several sides of its story. That’s how big Game Seven was. Carlos Beltran barely puts down his bags at Tradition Field and he is asked by the Met media to relive the out that didn’t require all that much interpretation. “It was a nasty pitch. I saw it, but I couldn’t do anything with it.” On the other side of the boxscore, the happier side, Adam Wainwright quite justifiably revels in the memories, even the part where Valentin and Chavez reach him for base hits to start the ninth. “Every fan at Shea Stadium was crushing me. All year I never heard the crowd. But I could hear them this time, and they were letting me have it.” Then the kid decided he was going to get Beltran, no doubts about it, at least not in hindsight. “I knew I was going to get the job done. I said to myself, ‘I am going to throw this curveball like it’s the best curveball I ever threw in my life.'” So he did. And that was that. No it wasn’t. It’s not the end of the story. The story never ends. It’s in Limahl territory. Everything surrounding Game Seven will linger, will flare, will recede and then reappear when we’re not looking for it. Don’t be fooled by the enticement of a new season. This old business has been cobbled into our codicil. We’re passing this baby on for generations. And even though it is we who are stuck with it, it’s not just ours either. It’s baseball history, the kind that doesn’t carry an expiration date. It will be brought to our attention on and off for as long as anyone who remembers it first-, second- or third-hand sees something that’s remotely reminiscent of it. It will be an inconvenient truth, shallow shorthand for those who need a quick and dirty precedent on the fly. • The notoriously undependable pitcher who unearths a gem at the least likely moment? Just like Oliver Perez in Game Seven! Just like Game Seven in the 2006 National League Championship Series, the one that hinged on any number of moves, actions, successes and failures, but stopped when Adam Wainwright froze Carlos Beltran on oh-and-two. Quick aside: I was wheeling a shopping cart through my Pathmark’s cereal aisle several weeks ago, and suddenly staring out at me from the General Mills shelf was a Wheaties box. Not just any Wheaties box, but a Wheaties box with Chris Carpenter’s picture on the front. I did what any sensible Mets fan would do. I turned around every box of Wheaties so nobody within the sound of my angst would have to look at a 2006 World Champion St. Louis Cardinal selling cereal on the South Shore of Long Island. Chris Carpenter didn’t even pitch in Game Seven. But that’s beside the point. Game Seven is everywhere we don’t want it to be. It’s the cupcake topped with a limitless layer of frosting if you’re a Cardinals fan. It’s a bottomless bowl of kale and lima bean stew if you’re us. It’s a contest with different meanings for different players. Oliver Perez has immediate prospects thanks to his six innings of one-run ball. Endy Chavez will bask in the terminally bittersweet glow of what he grabbed for as long as he can. Aaron Heilman, the reliever who made Molina famous, is either terminally hung up on it or getting over it as we speak. Jose Reyes may or may not be haunted by what he says the Mets suggested the Cardinals could do with their chances directly after Endy gave Willie Mays a run for his immortal money: “Take your bags and go home.” Jose’s too swift to be caught by a ghost, but it’s obvious the spirit of Game Seven hangs over Metsopotamia. Maybe not as a going concern — Carlos Beltran will live to swing another day — but it’s in the atmosphere. If may not get in the way of the manager, his coaches and their players as they pursue a second consecutive division title (and it certainly doesn’t have to), but we, the fans, will live with it from here to kingdom come. How can I be so sure? Can I see the future? Don’t have to. I’ve been around the past. More than five years ago I sat in a room of New York Giants fans who were commemorating The Shot Heard Round The World and communing with their hero of heroes, Bobby Thomson. They were thrilled, grateful, ecstatic all over again. “Thank you, Bobby,” one of them said, “for allowing us to break those Brooks’ balls 50 years ago.” Almost five years later, I sat in another room, this one dotted by more Dodgers than Giants fans. Guess who spoke louder, representatives of the contented ball-breaking contingent or those who were still trying to restitch the tender horsehide of their swollen memories 55 years after the fact? When Joshua Prager appeared with Bobby Thomson and Ralph Branca last September to discuss The Echoing Green, his remarkable history of The Shot and everything after, it was the Dodgers fans who made themselves heard. The Lincoln Center Barnes & Noble had morphed into the Chuck Dressen Complaint Department. These people had waited five-and-a-half decades to register their official protests regarding what went wrong on October 3, 1951 (though I’m fairly certain this wasn’t the first time any of them had mentioned it lately). My Giants friends may still be satisfied, but not nearly as much as their Dodger counterparts are pissed. Fifty-five years. Going on 56. That very same week, HBO premiered Wait ’til Next Year, a touching documentary charting the downs and further downs of everybody’s favorite futile franchise, the Chicago Cubs. The heart of the story was 1969, a year remembered in these parts as the best of times, reviled in those parts as something far less. HBO dug up fantastic footage we never saw during Channel 9 rain delays, none better from our provincial perspective than the exclamation point — a local lady reporter filing a report from a desolate, rainy Wrigley Field on the second Saturday of that October. We should be in Baltimore playing the Orioles right now, she said. Instead, nothing doing. “It’s a lousy day in Chicago.” I laughed my head off of course. Their pain is the foundation of my lifetime obsession not to mention the crux of my happiest childhood experience. I don’t remember many details from August and September of 1969, but watching the Cubs implode and the Mets rush by them, even in grainy film clips, brought back every wonderful new emotion I experienced as a six-year-old. It was a lousy day in Chicago? Who cared? It was a great year to become a Mets fan! It’s awfully nice to be on the right side of these baseball cataclysms as I consider myself to have been by proxy for 1951 and was for sure, albeit on training wheels, during 1969. Oh, and 1986…Buckner. Beautiful. Always will be. SNY can try to reduce that World Series to wallpaper, but it never, ever, ever gets old to see that ball roll through those legs and trickle onto the outfield grass before nestling forever inside a puffy, cumulus cloud of heaven. Twenty-plus years that image has looped through my mind now and I’d challenge whoever said losing hurts more than winning feels good to a smirkoff. Make all the misguided movies you want about somebody else coming up short in Game Six. I’ll always have a better one flickering in my head. But now I am on the other side of the fault line, more than I’ve ever been before. I’ve got Game Seven and it’s presented in Sensurround. This isn’t the unfriendly confines of a 1979 or a 1993, horrible in a thousand dreadful ways, but at least they’re private hell. This isn’t some obscure Luis Aguayo moment or even the relative anonymity of a five-game losing streak that prevents you from entering October. The whole world wasn’t watching in 1987 and 1998. It’s not even the one-two punch of Brian Jordan and Brian Jordan again from 2001, the worst I ever felt watching essentially the same two ballgames six wretched days apart. It killed us, but you still have to explain it to an outsider. This, Game Seven, was the Mets when they were supposed to win. When they had their fate and the bat in their hands. That, I think, is what separates the 2006 version of Game Seven from the other slammed doors in Mets postseason history. We lost in searing fashion in 1999 to the Braves and 2000 to the Yankees, but those didn’t go to seventh games. Felt like they did, but they didn’t. People still debate Yogi Berra’s decision to bypass George Stone in favor of short-rested Seaver and Matlack with a 3-2 lead over Oakland in 1973 (I actually heard a caller to WFAN bring it up last night). Really, they don’t debate it at all. Nobody except Tom Seaver has ever defended it with any kind of vigor. But those were those A’s and we were all probably kind of shocked to have crashed their dynastic party as deeply as we did. The cumulative effect of losing that World Series may have stung like mad, but neither of the final two losses against them, though both were close, was a 2006-style heartbreaker. We weren’t supposed to beat the A’s in ’73. We were supposed to beat the Dodgers in ’88, but that seventh game got out of hand early. The turning point then was three games earlier, Scioscia versus Gooden. But planting the blame on a pitch or pitching decision from the ninth inning of the fourth game when… a) the lead should have been more than 4-2 entering the ninth ….smacks of revisionist history. It’s been said the Scioscia home run destroyed the era, that it tumbled a dynasty that never was. I lived through it. I don’t buy it. The Mets would have two years after ’88 of coming close and not winning. I simply remember the home run, in real time, as an unfortunate blow delivered by an opposition batter. Our not scoring earlier that evening or later that morning (and the next afternoon) is what struck me as the killing blows of that NLCS. And we still could have won back in Los Angeles. As engraved in after-the-fact consciousness as it became, I don’t recall Mike Scioscia’s dastardly deed being rewound and featured ad nauseum in the winter of 1988-89 or the spring that followed it on whatever media existed in those semi-dark ages. We lost that NLCS in seven games. Game Four was pivotal, but it was the fourth game. Everything about Game Seven, our Game Seven like we’ve never had one before — the one we won, in ’86, was superswell, but is it the Game you think of immediately when you think of ’86? — is different from everything that preceded it. There’s been no Met loss like it. Whatever you think of Heilman’s Thursday pitch to Molina (Mota and Wagner each had a pretty lousy series against St. Louis, so maybe it was just a matter of time before someone in red got to Aaron), it’s the last licks you remember, the last lick in particular. This wasn’t Jon Matlack instead of Tom Seaver and Tom Seaver instead of George Stone; or Doc Gooden instead of Randy Myers; or Kenny Rogers instead of Octavio Dotel; or Al Leiter instead of John Franco. This was Carlos Beltran. This was the Mets on offense, our most powerful weapon cocked and loaded, a trigger man left fingering what could have or should have been pulled. This was the crossroads of dominance (14 wins better, home field advantage) and doggedness (we get knocked down, but we get up again, you’re never going to keep us down). This was where our mythical, miraculous mettle would be proven to all. To the Cardinals. To the country. To us. Too perfect. Whether last October 19 represents the worst loss in Mets history is subjective stuff to begin with, but it’s absolutely unknowable on this February 27. There’s no record you can pin down to make the case, no Rennie Stennett or Sunny Jim Bottomley numerical explosion for your pinpointing pleasure. There is no PECOTA test that will reveal which is our worst episode ever of Lost. You can tell your statistics to shut up. It’s gloom plus gut multiplied by time and future circumstance, a formula impossible to convert to reliable equation at this hour. If this was our one shot at the big time in this generation, then it’s perhaps as bad as anything between 1962 and forever. We remember Scioscia because after 1988 everything went downhill. Yet if the Mets played a little more competently in a series at Wrigley in the summer of ’89, maybe they beat out the Cubs for the division and who knows what we do that October? (Not that beating us out in ’89 and ’84 and ’98 has done a damn thing to salve Cubbie fans’ psychic wounds from 38 years ago.) Likewise, a couple of hits here and saves there down the stretch in 1990 might have made 1988 a footnote bracketed by two championships. I doubt Aaron Boone remains quite as horrendous for Red Sox rooters as Dent and Buckner did because it was avenged in a timely manner…if the accomplishments of one season can be said to truly compensate for the shortcomings of another. Those Dodgers fans at the Barnes & Noble in 2006 didn’t seem particularly sated by the four pennants their Bums won in 1952, 1953, 1955 and 1956 to say nothing of Brooklyn’s world championship in ’55. Getting beat in 1951 apparently beats all. Preseason predictions are uniformly useless, but on the eve of our first exhibition, I’ll proffer one anyhow: If we go five wins further in October 2007 than we did in October 2006, we’ll probably still gnash our teeth over Game Seven at a later date, but it won’t sting the same. In fact, it likely becomes character-building fodder for the greater narrative, a new and uplifting chapter in a franchise history that already alternates between life-affirming and clinically depressing with skip-stop service unpredictability. That championship train we’ve been waiting on is bound to show up eventually. One of these nights, the doors will open exactly where we’re standing and we’ll ride it express all the way home. Maybe that night is no more than one month of practice and seven months of achievement away. And if we don’t exceed the bottom line that was smudged beyond creative accounting by last year’s stunning conclusion? Then the third rail, like that third strike, is something we’ll find ourselves looking at for a little too long. INT. — AN APARTMENT IN BROOKLYN — AROUND 6 PM ON OCT. 19, 2006. JASON, an extraordinarily tired-looking man in his late 30s, enters stage left. He is dressed entirely in Met gear. He plops down on a worn couch in front of a coffee table, then quickly gets back up again.
JASON (muttering and pacing) Ohmygod, it all comes down to Oliver Perez. The whole season. Oliver Perez. Against Suppan. Ohmygod. He sits back down on the couch, gets up, repeats this, puts a gray Mets cap with a stars-and-stripes NY on his head, plucks it off, and finally exhales deeply. He's obviously agitated. Haunted, even. JASON There's only one thing to do. He looks around furtively, then walks quickly to a bookcase and removes a round object covered with a silk hankerchief. The hankerchief is adorned with baseballs and question marks. He takes this mysterious object, still shrouded by the handkerchief, and places it carefully on the coffee table. JASON Here goes nothin'. He sweeps the hankerchief off the table, revealing a crystal ball, and stares into it. The ball begins to glow faintly. JASON Tell me, oh baseball gods, what's going to happen tonight. I need to know. CRYSTAL BALL (eerie voiceover) Patience! All will be revealed within hours. JASON Uh-uh. I'm going crazy. Tell me! CRYSTAL BALL Heed my warning — prophecies are an uncertain business. JASON Yeah, whatever. So's getting a sac fly with the bases loaded and one out. I need to know! CRYSTAL BALL Very well. If you must ask … ask. JASON Oh baseball gods, tell me — who's going to win tonight? An eerie wind sweeps through the room. The crystal ball pulses blue, orange, red, black and orange. CRYSTAL BALL The next game the New York Mets play after tonight … will be against … JASON leans forward, mouth agape. CRYSTAL BALL … the Detroit Tigers. JASON Woo-hoo! YES! YESSSS! World Series, baby! YEAH! He begans dancing around the room, hands raised in joy. CRYSTAL BALL Remember … the answer you receive may not always match the question you ask. JASON (distracted) You say something? CRYSTAL BALL Oh, nothing important. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. MapQuest pegs the distance from 3 Court House Drive in Central Islip to 123-01 Roosevelt Avenue in Flushing at approximately 40 miles, depending on your route of preference. Too close for my tastes. And way too far. If one of your all-time favorite baseball players flashes through your mind hitting like a Met, fielding like a Met, running like a Met and forever looking like a Met, finding out he has become a Duck is pure quackery. Former New York Met and recent Norfolk Tide Edgardo Alfonzo has indeed been bewebbed, signing with every ex-local Major Leaguer’s favorite halfway house, the Long Island Ducks. It had to happen sooner or later. It’s where old Mets, almost-Mets and Mets-tinged lunatics go to feather their nests for at least one more season in the sun: Kevin Baez, Bill Pulsipher, Carlos Baerga, Juan Gonzalez, John Rocker, Pat Mahomes…in fact, the Ducks traded Mahomes to the Bridgeport Bluefish for Atlantic League rights to Alfonzo. The sharp-eyed among us will recall Fonzie spent about a minute in Connecticut last summer between his release from the Toronto Blue Jays and his hookup with the Tides. Ah, there’s the rub. It was a great moment of hope here when word came down that Fonzie was going to Norfolk. He’d play himself into shape, he’d get recalled before rosters were set, he’d reinvent himself as Lee Mazzilli did in 1986 and an old Met would spray a few singles as the new Mets marched to their third world title. Nothing ever works out the way you want it to. Edgardo lingered as a Tide. He batted .241 at Triple-A in July and August, which — all sentimentality aside — is not the best case one can make for himself for elevation to The Show. Still, the Mets did not have the deepest bench going into the postseason, and I didn’t see any reason not to bring him up and give him a few at-bats with a 12-game lead. At worst, I figured, we could give Fonzie the group hug he earned from 1995 to 2002, he could tip his cap and he could go coach with his brother somewhere in the Met system. But that didn’t happen. Trying to retrace the steps, I seem to recall the 40-man roster, which sounds so huge in theory, came into play, especially after Ramon Castro went down with a knee injury. Suddenly another 1995 Met, Kelly Stinnett, had to be added to the big club, inciting a chain reaction of other machinations that left no room at the inn for sentimentally favored .241-hitting utility infielders. Well, there might have been, but I kept reading that if the Mets tried to add Fonzie by September 1, they’d have to risk losing Ruben Gotay or Steve Schmoll. I can’t tell you how little I cared about Ruben Gotay or Steve Schmoll, but I tried to curb my instinct to scoff. Baseball seasons are built on the backs of guys I’ve never heard of, and maybe Gotay, the infielder acquired from Kansas City for Jeff Keppinger, or Schmoll, the sidearmer packaged with Duaner Sanchez in the Jae Seo swap, were too important to risk letting go. I’d probably have muttered about each when they went and came, except I’d been feeling chastened after moaning last September about the failure to recall Alfonzo and saw myself teetering on the edge of ridiculousness if I continued to harp on it. Though I will always believe it was somewhere between a mistake and an insult not to have worked something out in December 2002 to keep him here, I had to admit to myself that based on his long-term performance from 2003 on, that I might have been, as the other Fonzie would have said, wr…wr…wr…you know. I might not have been completely correct in my estimation of his value. The four-year deal he signed with the Giants expired at the end of 2006. Alfonzo reportedly put his big-ass house in Little Neck on the market. The Mets never effectively replaced him at second, but they seem set at third and I have no reason to doubt as of yet the short-term efficacy of Damion Easley and David Newhan. As a result, Edgardo seemed safely ensconced in the past. Even with the agate-type transactions regarding Gotay and Schmoll, I was willing to let him go once and for all. Then this minor league outfit comes along and brings Edgardo Alfonzo back to the neighborhood. MapQuest says I’m about 26 miles west of Central Islip as the Duck flies. I suppose that’s pleasant, that if Fonzie wants to continue his career that badly (he’s only officially 33, or younger than all but maybe five Mets), it’s nice that he’s nearby, certainly within reasonable stalking distance, that it’s a lot closer than Bridgeport, let alone San Francisco. But it’s not that great a thing. Watching Edgardo Alfonzo stride to the plate at Citibank Park in green and orange and standing in against some Somerset Patriot and ripping one up the middle is not the simmering desire I’ve harbored these past four-plus years. He was a Met. He was supposed to come home last year and be a Met one more time. To tease me by putting him one county away in the wrong direction…to make me think that if he regains his stroke that maybe, just maybe, Omar Minaya will take note and ink him again, this time for real…that with the score tied in the ninth and the winning run on third and the pitcher’s spot due up that Willie Randolph will confer with Jerry Manuel and decide, with no confusion whatsoever, to send up No. 13 (Billy Wagner having graciously given up his digits in deference to his numerical predecessor)…that the pitch will be high in the zone and Fonzie will swing… Enough. The Academy would like to take a moment to remember those Mets who have left us in the past year… Bartolome Fortunato, 2004; 2006 Kelly Stinnett, 1994-1995; 2006 Henry Owens, 2006 Eli Marrero, 2006 Ricky Ledee, 2006 Royce Ring, 2005-2006 Michael Tucker, 2006 Heath Bell, 2004-2006 Jorge Julio, 2006 Brian Bannister, 2006 Jose Lima, 2006 Victor Diaz, 2004-2006 Kaz Matsui, 2004-2006 Xavier Nady, 2006 Darren Oliver, 2006 Chad Bradford, 2006 Roberto Hernandez, 2005; 2006 Victor Zambrano, 2004-2006 Chris Woodward, 2005-2006 Steve Trachsel, 2001-2006 Cliff Floyd, 2003-2006 |
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