sinister (sin’i-ster) adj. 1. Suggesting or threatening evil; a sinister smile. 2. Presaging trouble; ominous; sinister storm clouds. 3. Attended by or causing disaster or inauspicious circumstances. 4. On the left side; left. [Middle English sinistre, unfavorable, from Old French, from Latin sinister, on the left, unlucky.]
On the night of August 24 I became the proud possessor of a ticket for Monday night, Sept. 18 — Mets vs. Marlins. Given our magic number of 22, one had to wonder: Could that be a Wonkaesque golden ticket, a mezzanine-row seat for the first clinching in 18 years? Seemed possible. But then our magic number hurtled toward zero, and that ticket lost its maybehood and eventually took on Just Another Game status, not that there’s anything remotely wrong with that. Unless, of course, something went wrong.
Cue Pittsburgh, where something did indeed go wrong.
The fact that our clinching was delayed by X number of days won’t matter much at all — the sight of a gaggle of leaping, shouting, champagne-spraying Mets will blast Gorzelanny and Duke and Maholm right out of our collective conscious. Heck, if anything we’ve taken mild solace in the fact that the same thing happened to the mighty ’86 team. A good sign: The once-maligned back end of the rotation stood strong — El Duque was masterful, and John Maine quietly pitched a very good game, avoiding gopher balls despite not having his best stuff. (Pedro…well, something tells me he’ll answer the bell when it matters. It doesn’t quite yet.)
The Pirates won a moral victory? Good for them. We had to go home to clinch? Fine. (And possibly good for me and Greg.) None of that worries me. What does worry me is our sudden inability against lefties. Because games are running short, and it’s awfully late to be cavalier about October problems. (Fortunately, when it comes to lefties the potential playoff team that’s most worrisome is the Phils, with Wolf, Moyer and Hamels. We can’t see them until the NLCS. Though if we do….)
OK. Deep breath. Going to be positive. Everything’s gonna be fine. So, any pointers for sneaking a bottle of bubbly into Shea? Because repeat after me: Brian Moehler is right-handed. Brian Moehler is right-handed. Brian Moehler is right-handed….
As one whose support of the sparkling wine industry has been uncommonly robust in the past week, I'd advise we just stop thinking about champagne altogether. Our key beverage maneuver will be to avoid the spilling of Aquafina.
Because we've had far too much cold water splashed in our face since Friday.
I was gratified to see the Marlins suffer an insanely heartbreaking loss Sunday, albeit to the irrelevant Braves. “All right! They'll be even MORE demoralized!” But I've tried that trick all year. Remember, I posited the Red Sox' excessive use of their bullpen in a makeup game against the Phillies on the eve of our Fenway visit was going to work against them. I've also presented an MVP award to Carlos Beltran (batting under .200 in September), strung a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner over Alay Soler's locker and in general been wrong about most substantive indicators since April.
Tonight, I'm gonna watch me a game, hope I get back to .500 on the year and drink whatever they put in front of me. It's all sold at champagne prices anyway.
Pour the champagne in a water bottle. Won't taste too good by the end, but at least you will have champagne. That is what I am doing!
Jace: It can be done. In a champagne bottle, too. Just trust the Beverage Queen.
Pointers? It's a small bottle. Current plan is just to bury it under umbrella, shirt, paper, ancillary BS. But I suck at sneakiness like this, so I'm all ears….
Will you be there with Greg tonight? If so, I plan to slither down from my usual Upper Deck outpost in the 9th… IF we win.
And I WILL have champagne. Jinx be… darned!!!
PS: and if you take back even a few of the terrible things you said about my Victor, I will let YOU pop the cork!! xoxo
Listen up here, potential lawbreakers. My staff and I intend to take time away from our usual routine of looking at our shoes, begging for tips from those who merely ask a question and napping next to the cotton candy machines and be quite vigilant in enforcing the “No Outside Beverage” rules instituted so the Wilpon's can afford to develop more real estate on Long Island and, of yeah, buy more high priced free agents. I know what you three look like (found a picture of Greg's 40th B'day party on the 'net) and will be performing the strip searches myself so leave the Vichy water at home and buy what the vendors are selling. 'cause if I throw ya out of the game before it ends it doesn't count towards your personal regular season record and therefore at least one of you will end the season below .500.
Leo “Sparky” Foster
Head of In-Stadium Services
The New York Mets, Inc.
mmm… striiiip search…
THAT'S My Muse….
I'd advise we just stop thinking about champagne altogether. Our key beverage maneuver will be to avoid the spilling of Aquafina. It won’t taste too good by the end, but at least you will have champagne…
Pour the champagne in a water bottle. Won't taste too good by the end, but at least you will have champagne. That is what I am doing! But my advice we just stop thinking about champagne altogether.