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Greg Prince and Jason Fry
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

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Same Mets, Different Day

“All right guys, we have to get a few more of these in the can before the next homestand, so I appreciate you coming in early on a Sunday. Just like always, stare directly into the camera and show the enthusiasm that got you this gig. And…action!”

“Branden, I’m so excited about what the Mets are giving away this Friday!”
“You mean like the way they gave away Saturday night’s game to the Giants, Alexa?”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, just stick to the script. And…action!”

“Branden, I’m so excited about what the Mets are giving away this Friday!”
“Yes, Alexa, it’s another free shirt, though with this team, you can just take the ‘r’ out of ‘shirt’ and be left with exactly what the Mets are all about this season.”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, the sooner we get through these, the sooner we can all go home. Let’s try the next one. And…action!”

“Branden, did you know that every Sunday at Citi Field kids under 14 get to run the bases just like the Mets?”
“Just like the Mets? God, I hope not, Alexa. Did you see how they ran the bases in the third inning against the Giants? What a bunch of freaking amateurs.”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, the Mets aren’t paying us to do our own version of Daily News Live here. Let’s just read the next spot. And…action!”

“Branden, what could be more fun than coming out to see David Wright play baseball?”
“Maybe seeing David Wright take a seat and somehow get his head together? He looks totally lost at the plate, Alexa, and now he’s making stupid, costly errors, too. If you can’t count on David Wright, what can you count on with this miserable team?”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, baby, I know it’s tough, but you gotta persevere. Let’s do the next one. And…action!”

“Branden, can you imagine a better treat for Dad than taking him to a Mets game on Father’s Day?”
“Father’s Day? Kind of an ironic proposition, Alexa, given that the Mets are playing like the saddest bunch of bastards I’ve ever seen.”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, you’re supposed to mention ‘face-painting on Mets Plaza’ there. C’mon, work with me. Just read the next card. And…action!”

“Branden, with the Mets Family Four Pack, there are some tough decisions to make between a Nathan’s Hot Dog, a hamburger or a slice of pizza!”
“Well, Alexa, you can be sure if there’s a decision to be made, Terry Collins will inevitably make the wrong one. Dude shouldn’t even be managing the Kettle Corn concession up in Promenade.”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, I don’t think that’s what it says on the card. Just a few more, guys, and I promise we’re outta here. And…action!”

“Branden, we’ve gotta make sure we catch the Mets’ upcoming games against the Brewers and Padres this week!”
“Alexa, we have a better chance of catching a game than Anthony Recker does of catching a crucial third strike or Travis d’Arnaud does of catching anything now that’s he and his pathetic .180 batting average have been shipped off to Vegas. What the hell took them so long?”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, please, just concentrate and I swear this will be over soon. And…action!”

“Branden, a day at Citi Field is a great time for fans young and old!”
“Excuse me, Alexa, did you just mention Young? Could Chris Young be a bigger bust?”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, you’re usually so on message. The next one will get you back in the groove. And…action!”

“Branden, the Mets have a promotion that’s sure to be a hit!”
“You know what’s sure not to be a hit, Alexa? Most any pitch thrown to any Met with the bases loaded — or any pitch ever thrown to Bartolo Colon. Ya think he could at least try to make contact?”

“Cut! Cut! Branden, I don’t think you’re in the spirit of things the way you usually are, but I know you can nail the last one. And…action!”

“Branden, the Mets have some really Amazin’ ticket deals!”
“Alexa, it would be amazing if anybody showed up to see this crap in person. It’s bad enough watching it on TV. My conscience won’t allow me to mislead our public any longer. Folks, it’s me, Branden. Get out while you still can! Don’t fall for these come-ons anymore! The Mets aren’t getting any better! They’ll never get any better! There are 100 games of this left! You have to find something else to do with your summer! Something else to do with your lives! No free shirt is worth this kind of pain! C’mon Alexa, let’s find Christina and spread our message of truth to Mets fans everywhere!”

“Cut! CUT!”

13 comments to Same Mets, Different Day

  • Cadams47

    Brilliant piece.
    Let’s put a portion of our time that we would have watching Mets Games into starting a grass roots movement to oust the Wilpons!

  • FL Met Fan Rich

    Too Funny!…Sad but true!

    How ugly is it to be playing out he string in June!….At least dump the old guys and let’s get beat up with the kids!…

    Same old ending to the script.

    Maybe we can just start a countdown till how many days till footl season!

  • Lou from Georgia

    Sadly, this post is all very true. This isn’t a commercial, but I’d recommend everyone buy a subscription to I got to watch an exciting Padres walk-off single by Cameron Maybin against the Expos just moments before the Mets imploded. No, seriously. It’s good to be able to watch other games and turn away from this train wreck sometimes. Padres are almost the west coast Mets anyway.

    Worse than the loss was the fact that my oldest brother Bob was at this game. A lifelong Bay Area resident and Giants fan, (he, myself and our other brother Mike were all born in San Fran) I was almost happy he was going to witness a Mets win, but out of respect for our late Grandpa Ernie (a SF Seals and later lifelong Giants fan himself, RIP) I planned to say nothing but good game. Instead, I received a taunting text message recapping the loss 30 minutes after it happened from older brother. Boo, Bob. Boo. Revolting.

  • SkillSets

    Great send-up of the Mets’ lame promo team. It’s like they were lobotomized by Dr. Fredo Wilpon and force-fed MetsBlog Kool-Aid prior to taping.

    • sturock

      Well, it *is* their job to act excited…

      Great piece, by the way. You do have to wonder what anyone getting paid to advertise or announce the Mets is really thinking. I would love to hear the between-innings comments of Howie, Gary, Keith, et al.

  • RoundRockMets

    Genius. Love it.

  • Amuschel

    Nicely done. Literally laughed out loud and nice to laugh at something for a change that wasn’t men pretending to play baseball.

    You missed Tejada’s two brilliant baserunning plays: the obvious one and then trying to steal second with two outs and the Silver Slugging Bartolo Colon batting. Not sure if he wanted two in scoring position for Colon or wanted to get thrown out to give the Giants a free out in the next inning. Second time he’s pulled that this week.

    Can’t Met fans and bloggers unite to simply boycott the home games? Most of the 700 or so fans attending games must read one of these blogs, right?

    I think the problem is they still won’t care because there’s still money to be made elsewhere. How bout ’em Rangers?

  • Roy Trakin

    Ya know, Greg. Makes me feel a little better because you tapped into the core of what has ailed this team since the 1962 expansion draft, when they tried to please all the old Dodger and Giant fans by picking up the likes of Gil Hodges, Duke Snider, Don Zimmer, Charlie Neal and Clem Labine. Image has always been more important than actually winning with this team. It’s not just the Wilpons, either. This has been going on since the beginning. It’s a little like Groundhog’s Day or even Edge of Tomorrow, the same thing all over again, as you so eloquently put it, Same Mets, Different Day (substitute year, decade, lifetime). It’s one of the few certainties you can appreciate as a Mets fan. That predictability. I’m thoroughly depressed as a lifelong Mets fan. The only thing Amazin’ about this is its inevitability.

  • Lenny65

    Regarding the Mets and their execution: I’m in favor of it.

  • Steve D

    Same Mets…in over 50 years they have developed from within maybe 10 top quality hitters? That may be stretching it. It is torturous really. Little is on the horizon except irrelevance.

  • jpb

    I have this horrible feeling that it’s 1977 all over again.

  • mikeL

    very funny piece greg.
    sadly these laughs are about all we fans have left.
    amazing that after so many K’s and double plays with MIASP … recker comes up with a big shot and the team finds another way to fail!
    that is the moment i had finally had enough.

    yes there remain 100 more games, 100 more ways for the team to absolutely suck.

    perhaps it”s time for a contraction – if only for the remainder of the season. let the team die and come back refreshed and under a completely new ownership group. kill the patient so that it may live again.

    i will now go from having the game on the tube, checking in every so often to not turning the tv on at all (albany is still w/o a mets radio presence).

    sadly this is progress.

  • Ed Rising

    Very funny Greg. The only thing I would add is if you could have chopped off the end just like SNY does on all these ads before they go the ‘real’ commercial!