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ABOUT US

Greg Prince and Jason Fry
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans.

Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here.

Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here.

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Zack in the New York Groove

If the Mets do indeed follow through on that hardy perennial threat every manager makes in August, implementation of a six-man rotation, we won’t necessarily have to be cognizant of the identity of a given game’s starting pitcher as it progresses. We’ll pick up on the vibe and instinctively match the moundsman to the occasion.

Things are going well for the Mets, though you sense they should be going better. Noah Syndergaard must be pitching.

Things might be going well for the Mets, yet you sense they’re about to fall apart. Steven Matz must be pitching.

Things are going better than you might have guessed for the Mets, though you understand there is no guarantee they will hold together. Corey Oswalt must be pitching.

Things are going terribly for the Mets. Jason Vargas must be pitching.

Things are going great for the Mets — except for the hitting. Jacob deGrom must be pitching.

And then there will be those days or nights when everything’s simply peachy. That’s when Georgia native Zack Wheeler must be pitching.

Zack has emerged as that coffee-sipping dog in the THIS IS FINE meme, except when Wheeler pitches, nothing has gone to blazes. The 2018 season, so hellish so often, turns serene when it’s his turn to throw. Things go great and stay great.

The latest evidence of Wheeler’s calming effect on a franchise otherwise swirling in a constant state of turmoil came Friday night in Miami as our own Commander Cody steered our generally lost planet airmen to victory. It was his fifth start in a row that was victorious for all concerned, himself included. There was no drama. There was no tension. There was just Zack in command for seven innings of four-hit, one-walk, eight-K ball. The only blemish was a two-run homer given up with two out in the seventh to pesky Miguel Rojas. The unwelcome activation of the Marlins’ loopy jumping fish contraption cut the Mets’ lead to 4-2, but the score never got any closer. Zack finished out the seventh, handed matters off to the bullpen and collected a 6-2 win for his superb efforts.

Overall, it was a triumph of the somnambulant, an amiably dull game you didn’t mind lacking bite once the Mets established an edge and Wheeler maintained it so masterfully. Good teams fly plenty of efficient 6-2 wins under the radar in the course of a year. Our team is entitled to one. The offensive star for the Mets was Austin Jackson, pretty much the offensive star of every Mets game lately. Austin Jackson is a .472 hitter since joining our ranks. Maintain that pace, pal, and you can stick around. Even if you can’t, you’ve become a swell August pick-me-up after we wondered why you were picked up in late July. Besides, unless Dom Smith is taking reps in center, it’s not like Jackson is blocking anybody on the depth chart.

Also chipping in three hits Friday was Amed Rosario. I could swear Amed Rosario was scaling the heights a couple of weeks ago, ready to ascend to the next level of young stardom. Alas, a slump ensued, square one was revisited and we are left to hope anew that this might be the start of something big. So the kid is not an out-of-the-box supernova. Maybe it just means he’s built to last rather than fade away. When you’ve won four out of six, you can convince yourself of anything.

Hey, we’ve won four out of six. We lead the Marlins by three games. We will leave Miami not in last place. That’s a little something to relish amid the joyless prairie that 2018 flattened out into months ago. Sure, maybe a slightly higher draft pick is slipping away, but with victories so infrequent, I’ll take my chances with a potentially pyrrhic one.

The Jacob Fund

Dear New York Mets Fan:

We are writing to thank you for your generous contribution of a bunt against the shift. Thoughtful Mets fans like you have been sending us what they can to provide offensive assistance for our ace pitcher Jacob deGrom for months. Our offices at Citi Field have been flooded by sacrifice flies, soft singles over the shortstop’s head, line drives up the middle and takings on three-and-oh, all in the name of getting Jacob some much-needed runs. We were particularly touched by the elementary school class on Long Island that offered to take a breaking ball off its collective elbow with the bases loaded.

In light of the support shown by you and your fellow New York Mets fans, we are happy to report that on the afternoon of Wednesday, August 8, Jacob’s teammates pooled their resources to match the efforts of their fans, the effect of which generated eight runs, five of which crossed the plate while Jacob was pitching right here in Queens. Jacob, of course, was nearly flawless per usual, giving up no runs to the Cincinnati Reds during his six innings on the mound. The end result of all this charitable activity was an 8-0 victory for both the Mets and Jacob.

Yes, it’s true — Jacob deGrom was the winning pitcher. It’s something we haven’t been able to tell our fans very often despite Jacob consistently performing as baseball’s best pitcher. Most days when Jacob works his magic, we don’t compile six doubles, two singles, eleven walks and a stolen base, but on Wednesday we did. It was very exciting and we hope you had a chance to see or hear it.

Jacob’s earned run average is now 1.77, while his won-lost record sits at 6-7. Obviously we are extremely proud of the former and determined to help him improve on the latter. With fans like you behind us, we are confident Jacob will win again in 2018.

Once more, we are grateful for your thoughtful gesture of assistance. As MLB rules prohibit us from keeping it, we will be forwarding contributions like yours to local youth baseball programs throughout the greater Metropolitan Area in the hope that the potential Mets of tomorrow will learn to build runs for their pitchers and help the next Jacob deGrom avoid the fate that has befallen our lone All-Star most of this season.

We are also enclosing a code redeemable for a 4.8% discount on select Baseline Box and Promenade Outfield tickets to Jay Bruce Bobblehead Day on August 25. The code is redeemable at Mets.com and may not be used for phone orders or at Citi Field ticket windows. Restrictions and fees apply.

Sincerely,

The New York Mets
National League Baseball Club

The Vargas Index

Nights like Tuesday, defined primarily by rain, futility and Jason Vargas, deserve to be evaluated not on how bad the Mets’ loss was mathematically, but how the elements that constitute the whole of the experience measure within the parameters of the carefully calibrated Jason Vargas Index.

For those who have forgotten, here are the scales of the Jason Vargas Index:

• VERY VARGAS: Truly dismal
• SORT OF VARGAS: Could be better
• NOT AT ALL VARGAS: Perfectly lovely

Jason Vargas threw fourteen pitches to four Cincinnati batters, allowed three baserunners and was charged before and after a long rain delay with three earned runs across one-third of an inning. Naturally Vargas rates as VERY VARGAS.

The decision to start the game with the skies darkening while lightning was clearly visible on the horizon was VERY VARGAS. Sure enough, the tarp had to come on the field ten minutes after the first of Vargas’s fourteen awful pitches. Whatever crap whatever umpire said about trying to get the game in ASAP because it was the last series between these two teams was, well, crap.

Mother Nature was SORT OF VARGAS. The storm was horrendous, but perhaps Mother Nature was trying to nudge Mickey Callaway into getting Vargas the hell off the mound.

Waiting out a rain delay in whatever the club on the Excelsior level at Citi Field is called now is SORT OF VARGAS. The air conditioning was welcome and the west-facing windows let us all be slack-jawed onlookers as we peered for glints of brightness amid the atmospheric morass, but there weren’t nearly enough seats. My party of four — that would be my wife and me along with our regular first Tuesday home game in August companions since 2010 Ryder and Rob Chasin — found our refuge by leaning against an abandoned ice cream stand on the third base side and yammering the eight o’clock hour away.

Abandoning an ice cream cart in a club filled with people waiting in long lines for any kind of food and/or drink diversion was VERY VARGAS. Several people stopped to ask us if the cart was open. We were thinking of forming our own line, drawing enough people out of their seats to unwittingly queue up behind us, and then each of us theatrically abandoning the line so we could grab some of those hypothetical sweet empty seats. But it was probably a plan that was more fun to dream up than actually execute.

The Mets sucking enough so that tickets to the Excelsior level are popularly priced veers between NOT AT ALL VARGAS (for who doesn’t love a popular price?) and VERY VARGAS (because who wants the Mets to suck this much?). Let’s peg it at SORT OF VARGAS.

Maintaining our August Tuesday tradition with the Chasins was NOT AT ALL VARGAS. We cherish this annual get-together. Ryder just graduated from Northwestern. His dad Rob let us know they would be available per established summertime custom. How could we stay away? There are no two people Stephanie and I would rather wait out an hour-and-forty-minute rain delay with.

Going to a Mets game with dear friends, even in this miserable season, is NOT AT ALL VARGAS. Besides loving live baseball (even the Mets kind), Citi Field is the town square I miss when I don’t loiter in it from time to time. For example, while we leaned on the ice cream cart, we waved over our old pals and distinguished married bloggers Taryn “Coop” Cooper and Ed Leyro, making our initial party of four more and merrier. And later, upon completing a beverage run, I bumped into another friend I don’t see anywhere else, Howard Megdal. You hopefully know Howard from his thoughtful coverage of many sports, one of them baseball. When we grabbed a chance to chat, he gave me a little 411 on his next piece, if in fact “411” is something people still say. (I once forgot the number for information and called 911 instead, immediately apologizing to the emergency operator.)

The Mets’ offense is VERY VARGAS. Two hits in the second. Two hits in the ninth. Pacifistic otherwise.

The video board proposal that overwhelmed Kiss Cam was NOT AT ALL VARGAS. Of course the subject of wedded matrimony should be broached at the ballpark. The honeymoon should take place there as well. Coop and Ed have been on theirs at Citi Field for eight years.

The Reds’ devotion to their history, which crossed my mind when I saw scattered BENCH 5 and ROSE 14 interlopers, is NOT AT ALL VARGAS. They recently inducted Dave Bristol, Fred Norman and Adam Dunn into their Hall of Fame. Held a gala and everything. That’s how you do it — annually, with criteria that values long and meritorious service and makes room for many rather than striving to exclude all but a few. Hell, at this point, I’d welcome even a few bronze faces into our dormant museum. The Mets haven’t inducted anybody into their Hall of Fame since the end of the 2013 season and did absolutely nothing with what should be an august institution between 2002 and 2010.

The attention the Mets pay to their Hall of Fame is VERY VARGAS. It was VERY VARGAS before Vargas was a Met the first time (two starts in 2007, in case you’ve forgotten the recidivist angle to the Vargas backstory). It was briefly downgraded to NOT AT ALL VARGAS when, between 2010 and 2013, they honored Dwight Gooden, Darryl Strawberry, Davey Johnson, Frank Cashen, John Franco and Mike Piazza. Now it’s so VERY VARGAS that the only way to reactivate what promised to be a thriving acknowledgement of Mets history would be to induct Jason Vargas himself. Because once Vargas is in, they’d have to bring in at least six other Hall of Famers to finish the ceremony.

Sal Romano’s rooting section was SORT OF VARGAS, but only from a Mets fan perspective. Actually, I was in awe of how much noise these friends and family of the locally sourced Reds starter made on behalf of their homeboy. We saw multiple ROMANO 47 jerseys and t-shirts in the concourse. If one team is going to start Jason Vargas, how can you blame the other team for taking advantage?

The Mets’ All Other Relievers are SORT OF VARGAS. The game didn’t resume until 9:00. Vargas was out. One interchangeable right arm after another entered, departed; entered, departed; entered, departed. The final score winding up at 6-1 rather than 25-4 speaks well of at least a few of these youngsters.

Steven Matz’s luck is VERY VARGAS. He won’t be coming off the disabled list when scheduled. Did anybody think he would?

My wife’s good humor where being immersed in baseball is concerned, especially on a weeknight, is NOT AT ALL VARGAS. If you subtract the rain delay, Tuesday night’s Mets loss was completed in a reasonable 2:43, and she would have soaked up every minute (albeit some of them in that luscious club air conditioning). The rain delay, however, when combined with the heat…let’s just say that like every starting pitcher the Mets have used this year, Stephanie wasn’t going nine. Though it was highly out of order for us, especially when keeping company with Ryder and Rob, we bolted in the seventh, my first early exit in a couple of years, I believe. Sacrilege, I realize, but rain at the ballpark tends to take the edge off whatever Jason Vargas hasn’t already destroyed.

Dilson Herrera is NOT AT ALL VARGAS for pinch-homering versus the team that sent him away in exchange for Jay Bruce. Good for him. Matt Harvey gets a tribute video, Dilson gets a touch of revenge.

Todd Frazier gracing one side of my souvenir cup is VERY VARGAS. No offense to Todd (“no offense” is a Met credo), but is this guy any Mets fan’s favorite player? I’m excluding anybody he brought with him from his previous stopover and residents of his New Jersey hometown. Whoever decided “we’re gonna move who knows how many more cups with Frazier on ’em” must be the same promotional wizard who convinced upper management that August 25’s Jay Bruce Bobblehead Day is going to be the social event of the season.

That one looms as VERY VARGAS as well, but enough Vargas for now.

Seriously. Enough.

Forever: A Mighty Long Time

Moments after Jeff McNeil launched his first Citi Field home run to the branded soft drink pavilion overhanging right field, he was still giddy. Why wouldn’t he have been? McNeil joined the major leagues and the Mets on July 24. Almost everything is a first for him. To not enjoy it would be a demonstration of odd behavior. Jeff obviously needed to continue sharing his enthusiasm. In a dugout that had settled down after congratulating him, he found somebody to keep telling how great it feels to be succeeding as a brand new Met. His receptive audience and perhaps soulmate in celebration was Austin Jackson. Jackson could relate. He was once new to MLB. He is still new to NYM. He’s worn a Mets uniform only since July 27. Austin’s also succeeding in new clothing, clear up through Monday night when he, like Jeff, registered three more hits. Their team would end the evening with sixteen in all.

Jeff was raking. Austin was hitting. The Mets were winning. Laughter abounded between them. And I smiled because, in the moment, they were my guys. Last week I considered them practically total strangers. I now root for who exactly? But that was when they were barely here. They’ve been here for days upon days since. Another week’s worth! That’s a decent enough sample size if you want it to be.

McNeil and Jackson indeed contributed to a Monday night Mets victory, 6-4 over the Reds. There was a plethora of contributors. One of them was Bobby Wahl, another very recently introduced name (called up August 2) growing suddenly into a person we recognize as our guy. Wahl replaced Noah Syndergaard with the bases loaded and one out, Joey Votto up to bat. The Mets were ahead by five, so maybe the leverage didn’t soar as high as McNeil’s homer, but it was a tall enough order for a reliever with minimal cachet. Wahl walked Votto, which should probably count as a rite of National League initiation, but then struck out another All-Star, Scooter Gennett, before giving way to Robert Gsellman and, ultimately, closer du nuit Jerry Blevins.

Jeff McNeil. Austin Jackson. Bobby Wahl. Yeah, I root for them. Still seems a little weird to be emotionally invested in the professional fortunes of these heretofore strangers, but 1,064 times since April 11, 1962, a stranger has been just a Met we hadn’t yet met. Gsellman and Blevins were each that. Syndergaard (six shutout innings before faltering in the seventh) was that until May 12, 2015, and that was with us knowing his nickname as a minor leaguer. Twenty-two year-old Wilmer Flores was just a line on a depth chart until five years ago yesterday. On August 6, 2013, he became the 960th heretofore stranger we developed a habit around. Last night, on his 27th birthday, Wilmer pounded out three hits, which we’re used to. He also got himself thrown out at home, which we’re also used to. Familiarity forgives certain tics on nights you win. The fellas who wear the uniforms are the difference between rooting for the laundry and emotional investment.

The era we’ll remember Flores for — the one largely defined by Wilmer’s reaction to something that didn’t happen (no trade), Wilmer’s action in making something happen (homering to spark a pennant run for the ages) and Wilmer’s reaction to his action (grabbing at the logo gracing his laundry as he crossed the plate) — lacks a neat timeline. Most eras do, actually, but we can usually retcon for clarity’s sake. Seeds are planted, players bloom, championships sprout. In truth, the 2015 Mets grew more stubbornly and sporadically than cleanly and clearly. The runup was difficult to detect while in progress and the aftermath came quicker than we’d have preferred. Yet you can pinpoint a spot on the chronological map where you can accurately say a generally grim Met present was beginning to dissolve and a promising if opaque Met future started taking shape.

July 26, 2012. Before Flores and his walkoff magic. Before Familia, who would someday nail down final outs of four separate Met clinchings. Before Lagares, who would someday excel in the opening game of a Met NLCS. Before d’Arnaud, who would hit Citi Field’s Apple on the fly in that same NLCS opener. Before deGrom, who dominated the Dodgers at the outset of an NLDS and begrudged them satisfaction at its conclusion. Before the savvy additions of Granderson and Colon, let alone the on-fly injections of Syndergaard, Matz, Conforto and Cespedes…and after the holdovers from previous generations (Duda, Tejada, Niese, Murphy and Wright) had become old if amiable news…there was the introduction to us of Matt Harvey.

Streamline the narrative to ignore the ups and down and ins and outs a franchise experiences, and Harvey’s debut on July 26, 2012, serves as a reasonable dividing line between “before” and “getting there”. We didn’t know where exactly we were getting to, nor when we would arrive, but Harvey’s right arm was the one we were elated to have pointing us in the right direction. That’s what his 10 starts in ’12 were doing amid another lost Met season. The next 26 in his repertoire, presented brilliantly in 2013, elevated hope to a next level. Really, on those fifth days when Matt pitched, you didn’t need hope. You didn’t need direction. Where else did we need to go when we had Matt Harvey pitching for us?

The throughline was disrupted when Tommy John surgery crashed the chronology. No, it wasn’t a direct march from July 2012 to October 2015. It couldn’t be, not without Matt Harvey leading the journey as we envisioned. But he came back, he gave us as much as he had to offer and October occurred at last. Matt was a huge part of it. November, too. He tried to engineer an extension of the latest postseason the Mets ever unfurled. He couldn’t, but the effort was admirable.

Then, in a blink, it was 2018 and Matt Harvey hadn’t pitched well or that much for several years, and he became a Red, out of our day-to-day lives, save for two nights and one afternoon in August. He wouldn’t pitch, but he’d be impossible to not notice. In appreciation for what he meant between 2012 and 2015, the Mets produced and showed on CitiVision a tasteful tribute video that lasted not quite 40 seconds. Given how the Harvey segment of the most recent Met era faded from present to past, more would have been ostentatious. Given how Harvey’s days began and gained traction when his pitching was at its fiercest, you could imagine the highlights streaming forever.

Forever’s a mighty long time, according to my Purple namesake, yet it’s difficult to apply to all those Met moments and Met people you swear you’ll love forever. Let’s go crazy, we told one another when Matt came along. Let’s compare him to Seaver and Gooden. Let’s count Cy Youngs before they’re hatched. We were sure we’d love Harvey forever. Now we debate whether a video under a minute in duration somehow represents too lavish an appreciation for someone who departed our midst with a bulging ERA and scant goodwill. This week we’re infatuated with Jeff McNeil. Maybe that will last. Or maybe someday we’ll debate the merits of devoting forty seconds to a Jeff McNeil tribute video circa 2024.

If it’s safe to apply “forever” to any Met, it’s the forty-fifth stranger we hadn’t yet Met, chronologically speaking, the last man to join our ranks in our first season, the last to still be a Met from that year many years later. That, of course, is Ed Kranepool. Eddie, like Matt, was at Citi Field for the first time in a while Monday night, making Monday likely the closest we’ll see to an Old Timers Day in Flushing this season. Eddie, like Matt, was part of teams that celebrated with champagne. Eddie, like Matt, was also part of teams that had trouble getting good and staying good. Eddie, more than anybody, is the Eternal Met. On endurance alone, September 22, 1962, to September 30, 1979, he’s got the other 1,063 Mets to date beat by miles. The Ed Kranepool Era lasted portions of eighteen seasons in active player terms. That should qualify a fella for forever status, no questions asked.

Matt hasn’t been around Citi Field for a few months because business whisked him away to Cincinnati. Eddie? Eddie used to come around regularly. He’s a New Yorker and a fixture, except for some cross words that set forever player against whoever’s listed as owner. Not only was it ridiculous that Eddie wasn’t welcomed by the Wilpons, it bordered on tragic in light of Eddie’s health.

Eddie needs a kidney. Eddie also needed to come home.

However it happened, it happened Monday. Ed Kranepool sat in the Mets dugout prior to the game against the Reds and chatted up the media while sitting alongside Jeff Wilpon. He strode to the mound and delivered a ceremonial first pitch to Kevin Plawecki. He rode an elevator up to the press level and sat in the radio and TV booths and publicized his cause. He’s still looking for that kidney, and if you want more information, you can reach out via kidney4kranepool@gmail.com or 631 444 6944. Eddie’s search is the epitome of a high-leverage situation, an enormous ask. But if you don’t ask, you don’t get what you seek.

Seeing Ed Kranepool back among the Mets (and promising that he will be available to help their cause as well) made me think of one Mets fan in particular, one of our readers who wrote to us last month with concern for the player’s who’s meant the most to him forever. It seems appropriate to share his note here:

Just a request/hope you can help to get out the word about Ed Kranepool’s need for a kidney for transplant. I am now 6.5 years with my kidney transplant, so this topic is important to me. Krane, like me, is also a diabetic, and the fact that he was always my favorite Met seems like more than just coincidence. If you’ve seen the papers, I’m sure you’re aware of his plight. I guess I’m hoping that your [blog] would bring more attention to Krane’s fight, and in the best-case scenario, maybe more people would be willing to be tested for compatibility.

2019 will mark the 50th anniversary of the Miracle Mets. I hope and pray Ed Kranepool will be there to celebrate. My favorite Met needs help. Let’s see if we can provide him some assistance.

With respect and appreciation for helping this fellow Met fanatic through the good times and the bad…

Again, the contact info is:
kidney4kranepool@gmail.com
631 444 6944

Losses and Tangents

The Mets last week lost a game started by Steven Matz, 25-4. Five days later, because Matz was injured, they started Corey Oswalt in his place. Matz is out with a mild flexor pronator strain, a phrase known primarily to:

1) Medical professionals who treat mild flexor pronator strains;

2) Their patients who are diagnosed with mild flexor pronator strains;

3) Mets fans.

Oswalt pitched much better than Matz did last Tuesday. Oswalt also pitches much better than Jason Vargas any day of the week. Yet Oswalt is considered to start only when somebody is injured.

Despite Oswalt pitching well, the Mets lost, 5-4. That looks much better than 25-4, but it is still a loss. I wouldn’t discourage Oswalt from continuing to pitch well, nor the Mets from keeping their margins of defeat reasonable, but the real key to success for the team is not losing. This is a fundamental of baseball of which the Mets are likely aware, but given how infrequently they win, posting an occasional reminder seems necessary.

Congratulations to Austin Jackson for homering and for having a name that encompasses two state capitals, the only Met ever to be able to say that. He’s also the only major leaguer ever to be able to say that, but I’m not concerned with everybody else’s minutiae, only ours. We’ve had Jacksons first-named Al, Roy Lee and Darrin, and we’ve had a Todd first-named Jackson. They all might have felt at home visiting the capital of Mississippi, but Texas is a whole other identity. Al Jackson, who hails from Waco, could tell you that.

The Al in Al Jackson is short for Alvin Jackson, and Nolan Ryan grew up in Alvin, Tex. Dallas Green was born in Newport, Del. Neither Dallas nor Newport is a state capital. Also, Al Jackson was commonly referred to as Little Al, and half of that can get you to Little Rock, Ark., not as long a schlep from Jackson, Miss, as it would be from Austin, Tex., “schlep” being a word I imagine doesn’t much come up in the region that encompasses those particular states. Maybe it drives down from New York to Delaware on its way to Florida for the winter.

As long as we’re on the subject, let’s hear it for Daryl Boston, Stanley Jefferson (City), Robert Carson (City), Ed Charles(ton) and the three Harrises — Lenny, Willie and Greg — who together at the next Mets alumni celebration could form their own little Harrisburg.

That’s absurd. The Mets celebrate their alumni less frequently than folks around Austin, Jackson and Little Rock say schlep. I’m guessing on the latter, but I’m confident of the former. On the off chance the Mets ever invite the Harrises back en masse, they should keep in mind that Greg A. Harris is ambidextrous and thus could enter the festivities from either dugout.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the Mets lost on Sunday. Wilmer Flores ran the bases terribly as he usually does, but I don’t want to get on Wilmer today because today is Wilmer’s birthday. Happy birthday, Wilmer! The cake is over there…yeah, just go ahead…no, don’t hesitate…ah, never mind.

We love our birthday boy, but there was a lot of truth in that old Carnac bit:

“Longer hemlines, shorter haircuts and Wilmer Flores trying to take the extra base.”
“Longer hemlines, shorter haircuts and Wilmer Flores trying to take the extra base.”
“Name three things that are out this season.”

Judging by the vintage of that reference, Wilmer turns 77 rather than 27 today. Also judging by how Wilmer runs.

It’s not Mickey Callaway’s birthday, so I don’t feel badly pointing out he managed Sunday’s game badly. He demonstrates a Vargasish consistency in that respect. There was another of those situations in which he was duped by common sense when making a pitching change. The pitching change itself wasn’t the issue. Mickey didn’t wait for Brian Snitker to announce his pinch-hitter before making his move for Paul Sewald — St. Paul, should he be traded to Minnesota — to face Adam Duvall. You wait so you can force your counterpart to burn a player. Mickey doesn’t wait, so the other manager doesn’t have to burn anybody. Duvall stayed on the bench unburned, allowing Snitker to use him later at a time of his choosing.

Mickey will do all the self-immolating in these parts, thank you very much.

Maybe Mickey wants to show confidence in his pitchers by bringing them into the game as quickly as humanly possible. That’s not what he said later, though that would have been a more plausible explanation than what he did say, which was something about how he can’t worry about how a move he makes in one inning (in this case the seventh) might affect the game in a later inning (say the eighth or ninth). Managers are usually praised for their ability to simultaneously address the situation at hand while keeping in mind the consequences of situations that have yet to unfold. Actually, it’s kind of understood that’s an essential part of managing.

Mickey’s an innovator. He starts Jason Vargas every five days and expects something different to happen.

If the Mets had ever gotten Mike Lansing, I could have mentioned him earlier. But they never did. Devin Mesoarco also homered. I don’t think there’s a state capital with either of his names attached to it. Even if there was, it probably wouldn’t have helped Mickey, who reportedly will be back next season no matter how many games he lights on fire the rest of this season, manage the Mets to a win on Sunday. Little would.

The Third-Seasons

Isolate enough positives from the Mets’ 108th game, and you’d wish the season was beginning anew. You’d happily start Zack Wheeler on theoretical Opening Day and look forward to seven innings of shutout ball from a pitcher who you know will do nothing to sabotage his own cause. You’d lean forward to cheer the up-and-coming Jeff McNeil, a batter you once saw go 4-for-4. You’d take a chance on the savvy veteranship of Austin Jackson and figure you could do worse than plugging a .350-hitting defensive-minded center fielder into your lineup most days, small Met sample size be damned. You’d love your lockdown back-end bullpen of Bobby Wahl and Robert Gsellman. And you’d heartily appreciate a pro’s pro like Todd Frazier from Toms River essentially stealing two runs from third base and check to see if there was a grinding gesture you could make or a t-shirt you could buy to show your support for our gritty, gutty Jersey Boy.

Not to pour a torrent of salt and pepper on the sublime nature of our weekly bright spot, but, as another Jersey Boy might have put it, Saturday night’s 3-0 conquest of the Braves felt just too good to be true. It happened, sure. We do win games from time to time. But was it the harbinger of things to come? Would you start a new season with this crew and expect a season materially different from the two-thirds of a season we’ve endured to date?

Jeff McNeil has now played ten major league games. He’s one of seven Mets with no more than that amount of experience to rack up four hits in one box score. Such a universe is too small from which to draw definitive conclusions toward McNeil’s future. If Jeff’s destiny is to become some variation on Mike Vail, Ty Wigginton, Mike Jacobs, Josh Thole, Michael Conforto or T.J. Rivera, well, those are men who made major league careers for themselves if not necessarily (or yet) the careers we envisioned while getting carried away by their first burst of success. We see a 4-for-4 early on, we adjust our expectations skyward. Best we can expect of McNeil is to become some variation on himself and play an eleventh game.

Austin Jackson’s .350 as a Met has been fashioned in a similarly brief span. Unlike McNeil, who excelled at Binghamton and Las Vegas after an otherwise off-radar minor league run, no Mets fan was rattling cages to get Jackson on our roster. Jackson’s been on most everybody else’s roster since 2010. We usually get a turn at guys like that, generally when we’re desperate for help and they could use an opportunity. Jose Bautista’s been one of those guys. Adrian Gonzalez was one of those guys earlier this year. Nori Aoki qualified as one of those guys last September. Justin Ruggiano poked his head in that way two summers ago. You never plan for them, but they happen.

Happy to have Austin this August. Don’t know what that portends for next April. Not everything can be about the mythic “let’s see what we’ve got with the kids” ethos every day, not when you have a third of a season left. A third of a season is 54 games. Fifty-four lineups that need to be filled out, fifty-four sets of tactics that sometimes move a manager to use the 31-year-old itinerant outfielder rather than whichever younger, less-known quantity we reflexively cry out for. Not that the Mets are dripping with those in the outfield at this juncture of 2018.

Wahl has looked pretty sharp in two outings. They are two outings, or eight fewer than McNeil has had in his audition. So we’ll see, which is fine. The bullpen rarely operates properly. Lately, in spots where the Mets aren’t trailing by touchdowns, it’s done decently. Blevins looks like Blevins again. Swarzak, before his sudden reassignment to the disabled list, was turning into what Met scouts presumably swore by in winter. We don’t really miss Familia because we’ve decided to not miss Familia. Who needs a high-profile closer when we have so few high-leverage leads? We can embrace Wahl in the interim. And we can keep seeing how Gsellman functions in Familia’s old role. I don’t know that this is the bullpen of the future, exactly, but a little mixing and matching in the present will suffice.

Wheeler’s the big find as the final third inevitably leads into the next 162. Wheeler’s a keeper, at last. Saturday night against Atlanta, on the heels of last Sunday at Pittsburgh and everything else since he blended confidence, focus, talent and coaching into a complete package, has given us a staple of a rotation we don’t have to dream hard on. We know deGrom. We’re still pretty bullish on Syndergaard until the next bizarre twist of his story. Matz is taking a powder for the moment, which is unfortunate, but he’s lefthanded, you know. We don’t dismiss young-ish lefties so easily, no matter how their trajectories aggravate us.

Now we know Wheeler as a pitcher we believe in. He’s a success story in a year bereft of them and a building block for a year we hope will make this one look like an extended bad dream. Let’s not let anything happen to him or his progress.

Among those who engineered Saturday’s satisfaction, Frazier is the quantity whose properties are most known and whose prospects are least enticing, except maybe when he does something splendid. Outfoxing the Braves on two occasions — dashing for the plate on a weak grounder in the second and beating a poorly conceived throw home in the sixth — makes his presence seem more a blessing than an albatross. Maybe he’ll get a hit again before 2018 is done.

That group of Jersey boys who inspired the Broadway smash of the same name, those Four Seasons who hail from Frazierland, had plenty of hits. Led by the aforementioned Frankie Valli, they also had three more seasons than a baseball team gets a crack at. At best, if we’re mathematically inclined, we get three thirds of a season. That’s if you use baseball math. The first 54, the second 54, the third 54. Adds up to 162. There’s no official reckoning by demarcation, but it does kind of jump out at you if you are open to receiving its greeting.

“Hello, I’m your season, and I’m going to need to get going soon.” Shocking, huh? It just got here and now it’s asking where its coat is. The exit beckons. Didn’t we just have an Opening Day? Didn’t we just notice one-third of the season plop into the books? Weren’t we just grabbing a breather and some perspective at the halfway point?

We did and we were. But baseball keeps going. Baseball goes better when, at two-thirds of the season, there’s high stakes left to play for. We know that the final third of 2018 will boil down to how much more we’ll see of the McNeils versus how much more we’ll see of the Jacksons and that sort of thing. That’s what we tend to watch for in a narrative sense when we’re not focused on any given game (which we should be, too, because we only get 54 more of these babies).

This, of course, is not ideal. But neither has been 2018. After two-thirds of this besotted season we not only “boast” the ninth-worst record at this stage of a year in Mets history, but we’re comparably removed from where the real action is. You probably haven’t checked lately, but we’re 14½ games out of a Wild Card spot, trailing eight teams for the second National League lottery ticket, never mind the first Wild Card spot and the division lead. Yeah, that’s not happening this year.

You know what rules? When it does happen in a year, or at least it’s happening at this interval in a year. Eight times after 108 games the Mets have been positioned to make the postseason in the “if the season were to end today” sense. The season (except for strike-stricken 1994) wasn’t about to end so soon, but it’s how we speak.

Life was never better at the two-thirds mark than in 1986. The Mets’ record was 73-35 and their lead over the field was seventeen games. Seventeen games ahead of everybody they needed to be ahead of…bottle that feeling, would ya? Life was also rollickingly good twenty years later 108 games in, as the 2006 Mets sat twenty games above .500 and eleven games ahead. As in ’86, you knew ’06 had more baseball to it than was printed inside the pocket schedule.

It wasn’t quite so certain in 1988, when the Mets held the NL East at bay by five games, but it was certain enough. In 2000, the Mets were in first place in the Wild Card race by four games. It wasn’t exactly what we were angling for (the Braves were three games up in the division), but it loomed as good enough to get us to the business end of October — and it did.

We had the same-sized lead as the NL East’s standard-bearer at this stage of 2007. That four-game bulge would expand, then contract, then disappear. That’s why it’s only two-thirds of the season. Similarly, the one-game lead in 1985 didn’t get us popping our corks, but having first place on the line in early August and continuing to have it on the line for the next two months was a lot better than checking your watch for when the next late-blooming Triple-A slugger will arrive.

The Mets who were in first place two-thirds of the way into 2015 stayed there. The Mets who could make the same claim in 1999 didn’t, but they clung close enough and gave us a September to remember and an October, too. The Mets clubs that hung around the top of their divisions or Wild Card derbies without residing at their pinnacle may not have been ultimately rewarded, but their final thirds were imbued with vitality. Two-thirds into 1970, 1984, 1990, 1997, 1998, 2008 and 2016 we rooted for Mets that sat anywhere between a half-game and three games from a gateway to glory. Only the 2016 Mets made their proximity pay off, but the ride kept us engaged for weeks on end.

Missing from this two-thirds honor roll of serious contenders are the two years that gave us cause to take all kinds of absurd distances from first place seriously. In 1969 at the two-thirds mark, the 60-48 Mets trailed the Cubs by eight games. Fine record, but a daunting amount of ground to make up. Good thing the ’69 Mets weren’t an easily daunted bunch. And 11½ games from first place, summering in sixth and last place, were those 1973 Mets. They were behind everybody by a lot with the inverse of 1969’s record: 48-60. What a third they would have to have to make hay let alone history.

I won’t wallow in the Mets seasons where two-thirds led only to another third and then the end. We’re living in one of those now. But just so you know, the 1962 Mets not only crafted the worst two-thirds mark in Mets history (29-79), but were 44½ games from first place while brandishing it. Give ’em a break, though: they were new in town and many thirds of many seasons awaited them. The Mets would get better. And the Mets will get better still. I couldn’t tell you when, but keep watching. Fifty-four games remain that we know of for now. Make the most of them. The only thing worse than bad Mets baseball is no Mets baseball.

Jake And I Are 5-7

Following my attendance for his 22nd start of the season Friday night, Jacob deGrom and I can each count 12 decisions on our 2018 ledger. Twelve times this year I’ve decided to be at Citi Field for a Mets game. Some would question the judgment of anybody who chooses to watch these particular Mets in person a dozen different times — none of the Mets populating their Friday night lineup ended the evening with a batting average as high as .250 — yet I stand by my decisions despite the Mets absorbing defeats on seven of those occasions. The 2018 Mets, having relentlessly ridden a 44-63 wave clear into the basement of their division, lose roughly seven of every twelve games they play, anyway, so it’s not like I’m bringing them down.

Them bringing me down is another story, but I can’t say I haven’t been cautioned regarding their effect on my mood. The National League East standings are tantamount to a Surgeon General’s mental health warning.

DeGrom, on the other hand, didn’t decide to be 5-7 in his 12 decisions this season, but there he is, with a won-lost record that reflects a 22-start slate marked mostly by cruelty. Call it ace abuse. I don’t know how Jake’s arm feels the morning after a night when he has pitched his heart out for a team that withholds its offensive support from him, but I can only imagine the number it’s doing on his psyche. Actually, I don’t know that the imagination needs to run wild, given the postgame quotes that grow incrementally tetchier. And why shouldn’t they? How often can a pitcher serve as official spokesperson for befuddling disappointment?

“I don’t like losing baseball games,” Jacob told reporters after he threw eight innings, gave up two runs, drove in one run, struck out nine Braves and lost a baseball game. “It’s not something I ever want to get used to. Nobody in here likes losing. Go around and ask anyone in here if they had fun losing tonight. I don’t think anybody would say yes.”

Intentionally or not, deGrom channeled Brad Pitt as Billy Beane in Moneyball when he unleashed his fury on the cinematic version of the 2002 A’s after finding a clubhouse apparently unconcerned by its most recent defeat. “Is losing fun?” the GM demanded. “Is losing fun? What are you having fun for?” Beane underlined his message by taking a bat to the team boombox and instantly silencing all traces of music.

If a Met tried that, the boombox would still be blasting.

Based on his 1.85 ERA and any other peripherals you care to cite, you can be pretty certain you will witness excellence when you take in a Jacob deGrom start. Based on all other prevailing evidence, you can also be fairly sure you’ll see at least one of the following outcomes:

• Jake doesn’t win.
• The Mets lose.
• Jake loses.

Friday night, all three slots came up lemons. Two runs allowed over eight innings will usually put your team in position to win. But the Mets are deGrom’s team. We know how that goes. The 2-1 loss to this week’s magically mystifying deGropposition (Anibal Sanchez guest-starring as yet another sudden Cy Young candidate) was more or less the same as deGrom and the Mets losing to the Pirates last weekend; deGrom and the Mets losing to the Padres the Monday before; the seven instances in which deGrom has been saddled with an L despite being deGrom; and the fourteen when the Mets — while deploying the best pitcher on the planet — wrangled a collective defeat with him on the mound. The novelty of Friday’s loss to the Braves was deGrom not only Wheelerishly delivering the Mets’ lone run, via a third-inning single that plated Amed Rosario from second, but literally half of the Mets’ offense. The two hits that built that one run were unaccompanied by any others.

None of us would blame Jake if he later directed his bat in anger at some innocent inanimate object as Pitt/Beane did in the movies, but that’s not deGrom’s style. Testifying that he detests losing will have to do until his teammates present him with a viable alternative.

And me, the other guy carrying a 5-7 record? I had as much fun as a Mets fan could have amid the ongoing disaster that is the 2018 Mets season. Go to a game with my friend Kevin in any Mets season and you will have fun. We are quite practiced in forging quintessential bad game/good time experiences. Also having fun were the co-ed clusters of teens sharing my train en route to the game. Who says the Mets have lost another generation’s allegiance while endlessly losing ballgames? At least on the LIRR on a given Friday night the Long Island chapter of the Youth of America is visible in full force, giddy to be decked out in orange and blue (save for the one JETER 2 in every crowd) and cheerfully commuting to commune with the team nobody made them pick as their own. Were they all won by over by the fleeting success of 2015? Are they just in it for the illicit thrill of consuming beverage alcohol on public transportation? Do the standings mean nothing to them?

I suppose I could ask, but they all look they’re having too good a time to be brought down by the crusty likes of me. I do wonder where they disperse to once they arrive at Citi Field, though. In a year like this, the crowds on a gorgeous Friday night are far thinner than when pennants are in the offing. On the train between Jamaica and Woodside, there was barely room to turn around. At the park, plenty of room. Maybe after all those delightful Steve Gelbs reports from that ostentatiously branded bourbon bar, Jim Beam has surpassed Jacob deGrom as Citi’s top draw.

(Which would present an inconvenience to those hoping to use the third base-side men’s room in the Promenade food court as they left. Kevin and I were among the patrons to discover it was locked. That’s one way to send your customers scurrying down the stairs.)

As the eighth inning wore on, Kevin and I were compelled to stand in front of our Section 417 Row 1 seats to let a mother and her young daughter squeeze by with their nachos and chicken tenders. That would not be worth noting except nobody had come or gone all night from our midst, and neither of us had seen these two ladies previously. And that probably would not have stayed with me except they stood politely yet firmly by the otherwise unoccupied seat next to mine where I had planted my bag prior to first pitch. Our row featured a plethora of empty pairs of seats by the eighth inning (and during all the innings before it), but this was where their tickets guided them and they planned to sit where that paper told them to sit. I wasn’t gonna argue, but after I removed my bag, I asked with a touch of churlishness, “Just getting here?”

“Yes,” the mother said.

Having less than a month ago arrived fashionably late for extra innings of the first game of a doubleheader, I can appreciate wanting to get in every last pitch even if you missed the bulk of the pitches that preceded them, but, y’know, there was a second game lined up on the runway behind that one. Showing up as this single game was nearing its conclusion — and insisting on those two seats (perfectly lovely seats, but surely not the only ones available) — struck Kevin and me as weird, even by Mets game standards. Nevertheless, I grudgingly applaud the principle involved. Let us not turn away anybody who wants to see even a smidgen of the current season. Maybe someday the little girl will grow into one of those teens on the train gathering her friends for fun on a Friday night in Flushing. Maybe someday she’ll age into a crusty blogger who wonders what still attracts a decent amount of people to come see this stupid team.

Maybe someday the Mets will be worth being in your seat for across an entire game, except when jumping to your feet is appropriate.

The View From the Crater

The Braves beat the Mets, 4-2. Wilmer Flores short-circuited an inning by ill-advisedly trying to take second on a little bobble in center by Ronald Acuna Jr. He was safe, giving the Mets runners on second and third with one out, until the umps huddled and ruled he was in fact out, leaving the Mets with a bad feeling about things. (This ticky-tack stuff isn’t what replay was made for, but that’s a complaint for a more meaningful time.)

The Mets staged a little uprising in the ninth: Todd Frazier almost stroked a double down the line, but it landed a few inches foul and then he struck out. Jeff McNeil almost bounced a ball off the warning track, but this isn’t Vegas and Ender Inciarte was lurking in the vicinity, and it was an out. Kevin Plawecki almost worked a two-ball count, but the ump decided the strike zone could use a little widening, and that was that.

If I’d told you the above when the Mets were 11-1, you might have groaned and stamped a foot, because that sounds like a bad loss, doesn’t it? Of course a lot has happened since then, with recent installments of A Lot Happening including the Mets giving up 25 runs, which was embarrassing, and then losing to fucking Tommy Milone, which I’d argue was worse.

The Braves are somehow really good, far earlier than we would have expected, let alone liked, and battling for first-place with the Phillies — the Phillies! The Mets, meanwhile, are viewing the proceedings from deep inside a crater of their own making. They’re a tire fire and a tired farce, which means losing by two in a humdrum game on a sweltering night barely moves the needle these days.

The Mets have been garbage for months, and now the calendar has caught up with them. Whatever’s hanging on your wall or adorning your lock screen may say August, but if you’re a baseball fan you know better than that. It’s Garbage Time, where all blue and orange actors are in supporting roles, no game means much of anything, and no statistics are to be trusted.

* * *

Your blogger is off for an eight-day midwestern swing that will take him through six states and five ballparks, four of them new: I’m adding Minnesota, Milwaukee, the White Sox and Cincinnati to my roster of parks visited, with Emily’s first trip to Wrigley Field tossed in for obvious reasons. Field reports to come; in the meantime, be nice to Greg, who’s being admirably cheerful about being left in the wreckage.

What the F?

His name was Dr. Lago. He left Cuba years before and wound up teaching Spanish in my junior high. He was what you’d kindly call irascible. The translation of irascible en Español is also irascible, which is good information to retain in case he calls on me. Not much chance of that more than forty years — or cuarenta años — after I somehow passed his class, but some teachers haunt you into making certain you stay prepared.

Suburban legend had it that Dr. Lago once gave a student an F-minus on a test. F-minus didn’t exist within the school’s grading system, but it’s hard to imagine that would stop Dr. Lago. The student in question protested that an F-minus seemed rather harsh. Dr. Lago was usually rigid in his decisionmaking and didn’t tolerate a lot of pleading for mercy, but he was intermittently capable of surprising. In this case, he considered the student’s point for a moment, took back the paper from him and, miracle of miracles, returned it with the grade raised.

“All right,” Dr. Lago conceded grudgingly, “I give you F…” Then, to make certain the student understood in any language just how magnanimous a gesture this was, he added an addendum:

“…but you are not F student.”

I’d never heard of a teacher seriously giving an F-minus before I heard this story, but then again, I’d never heard of a 25-4 loss until I watched the Mets fail remedial baseball on Tuesday night. When you lose a ballgame by 21 runs, maybe you need to schedule an appointment with your guidance counselor.

The F-minus boys from Tuesday showed themselves to be quick learners for the Wednesday matinee in Washington, proving themselves capable of failing in something approximating normal fashion. Such progress is truly impressive in the context of 25-4. At this rate, the Mets stand an excellent chance of graduating to 2019.

God help us all if we have to repeat 2018.

Instead of falling behind by seven runs in the first inning as they did on Tuesday, Wednesday’s Mets trailed only 1-0 almost immediately. And at the stage where the Tuesday Mets were down by thirteen and on their third pitcher, their successors stuck with Noah Syndergaard, who was determined to keep the Nationals’ line score totals from resembling the ZIP Code for Millstone, W. Va. The Mets were behind, 3-0, by then and would stay down all afternoon (hey, how ya gonna hit the great Tommy Milone?), but at least they didn’t retreat to an underground bunker. This was indeed a step in an encouraging direction. From all available evidence, Noah didn’t contract any further childhood diseases as he continued pitching for seven innings, the last several of them quite solid. As far as we know, he avoided a relapse of his infamous bout of hand, foot and mouth disease and managed to not pick up whatever forearm-tightening malady laid Steven Matz low (and catapulted Matz’s earned run average high).

Of course the Mets lost, anyway. Not being an F-minus team didn’t suddenly transform them into a band of baseball scholars. They lost by the mundane score of 5-3, the kind of final that can be quietly filed away in the cabinet where the bulk of the Mets’ myriad relatively unremarkable 2018 defeats are kept. Other than Syndergaard’s conditionally encouraging comeback and Jose Reyes homering from each side of the plate (do not adjust your screen), Wednesday’s contest indeed resulted in just another loss.

The 25-4 Game, on the other hand, other foot and other mouth, can’t be contained to a single drawer or a single file cabinet. The 25-4 Game already has an annex devoted to it. Losing 25-4 goes on your permanent record.

Make no mistake about it — losing 25-4 is a millstone. Yet I have to confess that once 7-0 became 10-0, and 10-0 became 13-0, I was rooting for history. Or HI27ORY. If you’re absolutely, positively gonna lose, lose big. Lose like nobody’s watching. Lose so that you can’t take your eyes off it. When 13-0 is ballooning to 16-0, embarrassment is hardly at stake. We thought the Mets’ participation in the frenzied trade deadline had come and gone with nothing but Jack Reinheimer to show for it? Listen, Jack, we may have been beyond 4 PM on Tuesday, but we weren’t beyond shopping our last shred of dignity.

So yeah, I hoped every record for Met futility would be bested. Or worsted. You’re gonna get blown out, don’t suddenly turn off the reverse-vacuum. Keep that contraption blowing. My specific goal was obliterating 26-7. Mint silver medals for Von Hayes and all those Phillies from June 11, 1985, and snatch their gold. Give up at least 27 runs this time around. Lose by at least 20 runs in the process. Make this one a night to remember.

A Night to Remember, incidentally, is the name of a movie about the Titanic sinking. Not that the Mets are particularly titanic these days, but they’re not constructed soundly, either.

At 19-0 barely halfway through Tuesday, I thought we had a shot, but then Jerry Blevins had to nearly spoil it all by doing something stupid like getting Nationals out in the fifth and sixth. Drew Smith did the same in the seventh. The deck chairs seemed sufficiently rearranged. As bad…as F’in bad…as the Mets were, I no longer thought they were bad enough to take down the ghosts of Veterans Stadium. Matz, Rhame, Peterson and Bashlor were genuinely atrocious in assuming their mantles as the four horsemen of the nineteen-run apocalypse, but it appeared they’d be no match for the collective efforts of Tom Gorman (0.1 IP, 6 R), Calvin Schiraldi (1.1 IP, 10 R) and Joe Sambito (3 IP, 10 R). It’s one thing to helplessly give up 26 runs in one game. It’s another thing to expect 26 runs to easily give up its perversely exalted place in Mets history.

Alas, 26 runs still stands in all its ingloriousness, but it surely teetered on the brink of extinction, and that’s pretty perversely impressive in its own right. When it was 19-1, Mickey Callaway demonstrated as much imagination as he has all season and threw Jose Reyes at those 26 stubborn runs from 1985. The ploy almost worked, as Jose’s career ERA of 54.00 clearly attests, though I didn’t believe this was the honorable way to pursue putrid immortality. While I had been steadfastly rooting for 27 (or, more accurately, for 26 to be erased), using a position player to get there seemed somehow unsporting. Call me old-fashioned, but if you’re going to challenge the standard for most runs surrendered, you shouldn’t surrender them with position players who’ve never pitched. You should surrender them with authentic relievers who’ve rarely pitched well. Otherwise, there’s no earthly reason to maintain a roster spot for Paul Sewald.

Pitch Jose Reyes? Why not just issue oodles of abra-ca-dabra intentional walks until home plate is covered in National cleatmarks? Hell, we could still be losing that very same game by hundreds of runs.

In the end, past and present were served. Twenty-six remains the record for most runs allowed by the Mets in one game, and twenty-one is the new record for largest margin the Mets have lost a game by. We can still invoke Hayes and his pair of first-inning home runs when necessary, yet we now also can frame for eternity the image of Reyes nicking Ryan Zimmerman in the leg and Zimmerman barely controlling his giggles. Joke’s on Zimmerman. All Jose needed to get his bat going was loosening up his pitching arm. Two home runs given up one night and two home runs launched deep the next day. National League East beware: The Reyesnaissance is on at last.

I kind of hoped Syndergaard would start Wednesday by transmitting the same kind of message to Nats leadoff hitter Adam Eaton that he once upon a time stuck in the ear of Alcides Escobar. Let Thor announce his presence with authority. Let him tell our ostensible archrivals, “Enough of this crap.” Alas, the ethos we associate with the 2015 World Series at its best resides three years later more than sixty feet, six inches away. Besides, Noah had other priorities in Washington. Like shaking off the aftereffects of Coxackievirus. Like not spreading it to Kevin Plawecki. Like not planting his ass in anybody’s jackpot in the bottom of the first and inadvertently getting the Mets bullpen involved early and often again. One blowout of 19 to 21 runs every 33 years is a novelty.

Any more often than that, and you are not F student.

Witnessing the Apocalypse

That’s enough baseball for tonight, thanks.

Honestly, it was kind of funny.

Your recapper was three seats behind the left-field fence for the worst loss — mathematically speaking — in franchise history, and can report that it really wasn’t that bad.

Losing 3-2 in 11 lingers unpleasantly in the memory. Getting jumped for a five-spot in a disastrous eighth will leave a mark. Falling behind 1-0 in the first and never making up the difference will get you muttering. But giving up seven in the first and then having things get truly out of hand? All you can do is try to laugh.

Getting your butts kicked all over the place is part of baseball, and thank goodness for it. Every team, from sad sacks to juggernauts, is going to have a day or two in the course 0f a season when they get shelled, shellacked, tattooed or what have you. You try to grin and bear it, to be a good sport, and to accept your licking with a stubborn insistence that baseball karma works in slow and mysterious ways.

There were a ton of fellow Mets fans in attendance at Nationals Park on Tuesday night, and we became one big support group as the Nationals kept putting crooked numbers on the scoreboard. “We got a third hit!” one member of the orange-and-blue faithful mock-exulted as I returned to my seat to find us down 16-0. Emily and I complimented the father of a pair of stoic-looking young Mets fans for raising his kids right, and assured the doubtful-looking kids that this kind of thing builds character. If nothing else, there were mutual raised eyebrows and head shakes as we passed each other in the concourse, trying to ignore that the crowd noise was gleefully swelling again. Everywhere, there was a sense that we were in this together, even though all of us would have found anything else to do with our night if we’d known it would be this breathtakingly bad.

The Nationals fans were invariably good sports too. While I waited in line for a half-smoke at Ben’s Chili Bowl (tasty!), a Mets fan and a Nats fan behind me got to talking. Surveying That Which Didn’t Need to Be Named, the Mets fan offered that “it’s OK, we know we suck.” To which the Nats fan replied, “We’re under .500 ourselves,” after which they both started discussing chili. It’s true: the Mets’ season has been a train wreck, but so has the Nats’ year, and you can make the case that it feels worse to go from March shoo-in to July mediocrity than it does to go from spring-training enigma to regular-season disaster.

As I said, we were all in this together. What was happening in front of our eyes — a 7-spot, followed by a quartet of 3-run innings and matters were far from settled — was pathetic and hilarious and above all else bizarre. Everyone seemed to understand that it was unseemly to gloat and undignified to mourn. The only thing to do was to marvel.

When it was 10-0 Emily and I decided there wasn’t the slightest bit of disloyalty in setting out on her first-ever stroll around Nationals Park. When it was not only 19-0 but also 19-0 and raining, we decided we had had the greatest sufficiency of baseball for the evening, thank you very much.

And so we departed, missing Jeff McNeil‘s first career home run, Jose Reyes‘s debut as a pitcher, and the Mets winding up losing by three touchdowns. I mildly regret not having had eyes on McNeil’s homer, though it seems I have a talent for this: at Yankee Stadium last year I was absent for Dominic Smith‘s first big-league round-tripper. That was worse, as the game was relatively close and I missed Dom’s milestone to get a revoltingly terrible hot dog.

The remaining unseen portion of Tuesday’s debacle? I regret nothing. The night had been amazing enough as it was. And should I go the rest of my life without seeing a Mets game quite so amazing in a similar way, that would be all right too.